Are they really OK? Ask them today

Hello • 14 July 2021

R U OK? has launched ‘Are they really OK? Ask them today’, to encourage all Australians to think about how the people in their world are really going.


‘Are they really OK? Ask them today’, comes in response to new research1 which found 22% of Australians aren’t reaching out to ask ‘are you OK?’ because there hasn’t been an occasion where they felt someone needed their help.


“R U OK? is encouraging all Australians to pause and consider how the people in their world are really going, and to make asking ‘are you OK?’, a part of their everyday,” says Katherine Newton, R U OK? CEO.


The call comes in the lead up to R U OK?Day, Thursday 9 September, a national day of action that reinforces the importance of staying connected with your friends, family and colleagues through all life’s ups and downs, big or small.


“We want to emphasise that an R U OK? conversation is not only for when someone is visibly distressed or in crisis and remind everyone that their support can make a difference for anyone who is struggling.”


The research also found that seven percent of those surveyed felt it’s a conversation you don’t need to have unless someone seems to be in a really bad way, or in crisis.

1 KANTAR PUBLIC R U OK?Day Research 2021


“None of us are immune to life’s challenges whether that’s a relationship breakdown, financial worries, work pressure or, sadly for some, the loss of a loved one,” said Ms Newton. “Sometimes it won’t be obvious that someone is having a hard time but we know that when we ask early and in a genuine way, we can help someone who might be struggling feel connected and supported, long before they are in crisis.”


R U OK? will be releasing a range of free resources in the build-up to R U OK?Day including tips and tools to help Australians know when and how to have an R U OK? conversation.


Joining R U OK? to champion the ‘Are they really OK? Ask them today’ message is Glenn Cotter, an R U OK? Community Ambassador from the Bega Valley in NSW who is committed to starting R U OK? conversations in his community.


We all face challenging times and, in my community, it’s been a challenging few years. We have come out of many years of drought through bushfires into COVID 19 so it was important that we continued to get the R U OK? Message out through the Bega Valley & Eurobodalla Shires as we continue to rebuild a strong proud community,” says Mr Cotter who recommends the ‘Guide to supporting R U OK?Day’ as a good starting point for people wanting to get involved this year.


“Since joining R U OK? in 2018 we have continued to connect our community through a series of family & community days, including events such as the Kameruka Cricket Club Cricket and Conversation days which began in 2019 and help in getting meaningful conversations started all year round.


“It’s such a pleasure to see the confidence growing in our community to support our mates & genuinely ask our mates and family are you OK?”


It’s also important for people to understand that when conversations happen, they do make a difference.


“Research has found 80% those who have recently spoken to someone about something that’s troubling them feel more supported and cared about and 72% said it helped them feel better about themselves and their situation,” says Ann-Maree Fardell Hartley, Registered Psychologist and Suicidologist.


“Everyone has a role to play in ensuring the people in their world feel connected and supported,” says Ms Fardell Hartley. “The free tools and resources that R U OK? have available can help you build your confidence to support your friends, family and colleagues. You don’t have to be an expert, just a good friend and a great listener.”


R U OK? is providing guidance on the times people might need to be asked ‘are you OK?’ and how you can make a meaningful moment through having an R U OK? conversation.


Download the free resources including the ‘Guide to supporting R U OK?Day’ here.


For support at any time of day or night, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

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The recent incident in Sydney has left many feeling distressed and overwhelmed, and you may notice the children in your life are struggling too. Below, you’ll find advice from mental health experts on caring for your own wellbeing, and providing meaningful support to others in the days and weeks ahead. Talking to children about traumatic events Children are likely to have seen and heard distressing information about this incident. Ongoing news coverage, images and discussion can intensify feelings of anxiety, sadness and anger. The Child Mind Institute has published a practical guide to help parents and carers talk with children about traumatic events. The guide offers practical age-specific advice and has been developed by experts in child psychology, you can access this guide here . Events involving violence or serious harm can be especially difficult for children to understand or discuss. The guide focuses on helping children feel safe, supported and reassured, and encourages parents, carers or guardians to: Provide comfort and reassurance, including physical affection Remain calm and measured when discussing the event Maintain regular routines to restore a sense of normality Encourage play, connection and time with others Share honest, age-appropriate information from trusted sources Limit children’s exposure to news, especially younger children Listen patiently and validate children’s feelings Recognise that fear, anger, sadness or guilt are all normal reactions Looking after yourself, and supporting others Rachel Clements, R U OK? Advisor, and Director of Psychological Services at Centre for Corporate Health, said strong emotional reactions are normal and healthy for people of all ages following public acts of violence, even among those not directly impacted. “Some reactions that are incredibly normal are concern, shock, horror, disbelief. When that wears off sometimes, people experience stronger feelings, sometimes anger, despair, sadness, anxiety or fear-based behaviour."  Ms Clements advised that connecting with friends, sporting clubs, or workplace networks, and simply asking ‘are you OK?’, can play a key role in supporting people experiencing distress. "This event will disrupt the nervous system. One of the most important things we can do is stay connected, talk to each other and lean into supportive conversations,” Ms Clements said. She suggested starting a genuine conversation by asking questions such as: 'it's been tough watching this information coming to light, how are you feeling about it?’ “Then, all you’ve got to do is listen with empathy, without judgment or interruption, and just allow someone to talk about their experience and how they are feeling. When it is the right time in the conversation, you can then gently guide someone towards supportive actions, like doing some gentle exercise, staying connected with friends and family, or maintaining regular routines.” Ms Clements emphasised the importance of checking in again to ensure people have continued support. If you notice someone’s distress is ongoing for several weeks and begins to affect their work or social life, professional help should be encouraged. If you or the children in your care are experiencing ongoing distress, consider speaking with a doctor or another trusted healthcare provider. Free and professional 24/7counselling services are available, find contact details here . If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 000. Ask R U OK? Any Day.

2025 with R U OK?

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This year, Australians continued to grow their confidence and capability to ask, 'are you OK?' any day of the year - reminding us how real connection and meaningful conversations can happen in the most ordinary, everyday moments. Across every age and stage of life, people helped normalise these important check-ins by looking out for one another, reducing stigma, and driving genuine change. Thanks to our supporters, awareness continues to expand in schools, workplaces, sporting clubs, and communities in every corner of Australia. Thank you to everyone who started conversations, and to everyone who supported the mission and work of R U OK?. Below is a short video which shares a glimpse of the activity made possible through collaboration. *Voice-over by former-CEO, Katherine Newton.

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From growing up on farms to a shared interest in history, Australians, young and old, are discovering just how much they have in common, and how storytelling can connect generations in unexpected ways. What’s bringing them together is 'Heart and Soul Story', a social enterprise that fosters intergenerational connections. Through its programs, young people and older generations come together in aged care homes and schools to share stories, build life skills, and prevent loneliness. At a recent session which encouraged everyone to Ask R U OK? Any Day, students visited an aged-care community with R U OK? Conversation Bingo cards, which feature prompts to spark humour, curiosity, and connection.
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