A natter could change a life

hello • 14 February 2021

Tips to help you ask, "are you OK?"


Ageing is not without challenges – health, relocation, loss, isolation, or difficulties completing tasks that were once simple – any of these can lead to us or our older friends, family members, or neighbours becoming disconnected from community and support networks.


A simple chat can mean everything to a friend or loved one who might be struggling. Even if they seem fine, it doesn’t mean they are. Those in need of support might not always ask for it. That’s why you need to trust your instincts and if you’re worried about someone in your world, reach out and ask, “Are you OK?” Comment on the changes you’ve noticed and help them access support to stop small problems from becoming bigger issues.


We all sometimes struggle with life’s ups and downs but by making time to support someone who is doing it tough you could change, or even save, their life.


The health-promotion charity R U OK? has released resources to help senior Australians give the 'Gift of Conversation'. We’ve extracted a few tips from the campaign resources to help you lend support to the people in your world who might be struggling.

The four steps to a meaningful conversation

 

1.    Ask R U OK?

 

You want your conversation to feel as comfortable and normal as possible. Pick a place (in person, on the phone, or online) where you’ll both feel comfortable. When starting the conversation, be relaxed and friendly in your approach. Let them know you’ve noticed a change and ask an open-ended question like, “You’ve seemed a bit out of sorts recently. How’s everything going?”

 

2.    Listen

 

Be prepared to listen and have an open mind. Ask questions to learn more about how they feel, when they feel this way and what might help to improve the way they feel. Don’t rush or interrupt. Let them speak in their own time.

 

 

3.    Encourage action

Try and encourage them to think of at least one step they could take to help them lighten the load.


You won’t always have the answers or be able to provide advice to the person. In fact, sometimes it’s better not to give advice. Some problems are too big for a friend and family member to solve and professional help might be needed.

 

 

4.    Check in

Try and get their agreement to check in again with them soon: “Do you mind if I drop by again soon to see how you’re travelling?” It’s helpful to follow up in a few days to see how they’re doing. This reinforces that you genuinely care and want to help.


You can find more conversation tips and resources on the R U OK? website at www.ruok.org.au/yournattermatters


If you or someone you know needs immediate support, contact Lifeline, available 24/7, on 13 11 14 for free and confidential emotional and crisis support. You can find a directory of Australian services and supports at www.ruok.org.au/findhelp


14 December 2025
The recent incident in Sydney has left many feeling distressed and overwhelmed, and you may notice the children in your life are struggling too. Below, you’ll find advice from mental health experts on caring for your own wellbeing, and providing meaningful support to others in the days and weeks ahead. Talking to children about traumatic events Children are likely to have seen and heard distressing information about this incident. Ongoing news coverage, images and discussion can intensify feelings of anxiety, sadness and anger. The Child Mind Institute has published a practical guide to help parents and carers talk with children about traumatic events. The guide offers practical age-specific advice and has been developed by experts in child psychology, you can access this guide here . Events involving violence or serious harm can be especially difficult for children to understand or discuss. The guide focuses on helping children feel safe, supported and reassured, and encourages parents, carers or guardians to: Provide comfort and reassurance, including physical affection Remain calm and measured when discussing the event Maintain regular routines to restore a sense of normality Encourage play, connection and time with others Share honest, age-appropriate information from trusted sources Limit children’s exposure to news, especially younger children Listen patiently and validate children’s feelings Recognise that fear, anger, sadness or guilt are all normal reactions Looking after yourself, and supporting others Rachel Clements, R U OK? Advisor, and Director of Psychological Services at Centre for Corporate Health, said strong emotional reactions are normal and healthy for people of all ages following public acts of violence, even among those not directly impacted. “Some reactions that are incredibly normal are concern, shock, horror, disbelief. When that wears off sometimes, people experience stronger feelings, sometimes anger, despair, sadness, anxiety or fear-based behaviour."  Ms Clements advised that connecting with friends, sporting clubs, or workplace networks, and simply asking ‘are you OK?’, can play a key role in supporting people experiencing distress. "This event will disrupt the nervous system. One of the most important things we can do is stay connected, talk to each other and lean into supportive conversations,” Ms Clements said. She suggested starting a genuine conversation by asking questions such as: 'it's been tough watching this information coming to light, how are you feeling about it?’ “Then, all you’ve got to do is listen with empathy, without judgment or interruption, and just allow someone to talk about their experience and how they are feeling. When it is the right time in the conversation, you can then gently guide someone towards supportive actions, like doing some gentle exercise, staying connected with friends and family, or maintaining regular routines.” Ms Clements emphasised the importance of checking in again to ensure people have continued support. If you notice someone’s distress is ongoing for several weeks and begins to affect their work or social life, professional help should be encouraged. If you or the children in your care are experiencing ongoing distress, consider speaking with a doctor or another trusted healthcare provider. Free and professional 24/7counselling services are available, find contact details here . If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 000. Ask R U OK? Any Day.
11 December 2025
This year, Australians continued to grow their confidence and capability to ask, 'are you OK?' any day of the year - reminding us how real connection and meaningful conversations can happen in the most ordinary, everyday moments. Across every age and stage of life, people helped normalise these important check-ins by looking out for one another, reducing stigma, and driving genuine change. Thanks to our supporters, awareness continues to expand in schools, workplaces, sporting clubs, and communities in every corner of Australia. Thank you to everyone who started conversations, and to everyone who supported the mission and work of R U OK?. Below is a short video which shares a glimpse of the activity made possible through collaboration. *Voice-over by former-CEO, Katherine Newton.
10 December 2025
From growing up on farms to a shared interest in history, Australians, young and old, are discovering just how much they have in common, and how storytelling can connect generations in unexpected ways. What’s bringing them together is 'Heart and Soul Story', a social enterprise that fosters intergenerational connections. Through its programs, young people and older generations come together in aged care homes and schools to share stories, build life skills, and prevent loneliness. At a recent session which encouraged everyone to Ask R U OK? Any Day, students visited an aged-care community with R U OK? Conversation Bingo cards, which feature prompts to spark humour, curiosity, and connection.
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