Men give their tips on staying connected
hello • 18 June 2021
To mark Men's Health Week, four of our R U OK? ambassadors tell us how they look after themselves and how they check in on their mates.
June 14-20 is Men’s Health Week, a time to reflect on the challenges faced by the men in our lives.
This year's theme is ‘Connecting’, so we asked four of our Ambassadors to tell us what they do to stay healthy, how they connect with the men in their lives and how they approach having an “Are you OK?” conversation - not only during Men’s Health Week, but year round.
- How do you and your mates look out for one another?
"My mates have supported me through thick and thin. They have given me space when I need it, messaged when they haven’t heard from me for a while and generally called and connected when I appeared out of character." – Will Stewart
"By talking and being open with one another. I feel if I start the conversation, it opens the door for my mates. I have a great group of friends and although we are busy, we are on the phone a lot." – Beau Ryan
"I check in on my mates from time to time just to see how they are going. If they need a listening ear, I invite them for a coffee, or they come along on one of my many hikes where they are free to talk without judgement." – Chris Savill
"We aren’t afraid to be real with each other. Being there for a mate doesn’t have to be this big daunting thing. Just keeping the lines of communication open is so reassuring and healthy. It lets us know that no matter what we’re going through, we’re not alone." – Barry Conrad
- How do/can you look out for a man you think could be struggling?
"It can be as simple as asking, “Hey man, how are you? You doing okay?”. That might seem too simple, but it’s actually so powerful. If you find that you can’t do any more to help them, encourage them to visit ruok.org.au/findhelp. And if they need immediate help, point them to services like Lifeline, Beyond Blue and MensLine Australia." – Barry Conrad
"Follow R U OK?'s 4 steps to a healthy conversation. Ask a man in your life, 'are you OK?' Listen, without judgement, encourage them to take action and then check in to see how they are doing ."- Chris Savill
"Be honest with them. I share feelings and be vulnerable with them. We all have bad days and times when we are struggling. But by reaching out and sharing my struggles, I find it gives my mates strength to talk about theirs. We are all in this together and when they know that they have support, it could change their life." – Beau Ryan
"Checking in via a call, email, text or other can really make the difference. Feeling connected when one is down, despite not wanting to talk really helps. Heading out for a run or cycle and opening up a conversation can really support someone struggling. If they like exercise. Others may prefer a bite to eat and a chin wag. If you make the other person feel comfortable and safe, that’s what matters." – Will Stewart
- Why is mental health important to you as a man?
"Even though we’ve come a long way in shining a light on men’s mental health, there’s still so much stigma around it. A lot of men are conditioned to believe that vulnerability equals weakness, and it only makes men feel unsafe to be themselves. 75% of people in Australia who take their own lives are actually men, which says a lot." – Barry Conrad
"Managing one’s mental health, be it through exercise, medication, nutrition or otherwise is extremely important. While men are opening up more, I still see closed books amongst friends and peers, but it’s getting better." – Will Stewart
- How do you stay healthy?
"I train a lot. But the key for me is family time. That’s when I’m happiest and most fulfilled. Spending valuable time with them." – Beau Ryan
"I’m really big on setting my mind first thing in the morning. That means not reaching for my phone right away, mindlessly scrolling and filling my mind with meaningless content." – Barry Conrad
If you are concerned about someone, trust your gut and ask “Are you OK?”. Listen with an open mind to what they have to say and ask them what you can do to help.
For more detailed information about the signs someone might be struggling and how to have an R U OK? conversation visit our How to Ask page.
If a conversation is too big for you or you need additional support, visit our Find Help page.
From growing up on farms to a shared interest in history, Australians, young and old, are discovering just how much they have in common, and how storytelling can connect generations in unexpected ways. What’s bringing them together is 'Heart and Soul Story', a social enterprise that fosters intergenerational connections. Through its programs, young people and older generations come together in aged care homes and schools to share stories, build life skills, and prevent loneliness. At a recent session which encouraged everyone to Ask R U OK? Any Day, students visited an aged-care community with R U OK? Conversation Bingo cards, which feature prompts to spark humour, curiosity, and connection.
The recent incident in Sydney has left many feeling distressed and overwhelmed, and you may notice the children in your life are struggling too. Below, you’ll find advice from mental health experts on caring for your own wellbeing, and providing meaningful support to others in the days and weeks ahead. Talking to children about traumatic events Children are likely to have seen and heard distressing information about this incident. Ongoing news coverage, images and discussion can intensify feelings of anxiety, sadness and anger. The Child Mind Institute has published a practical guide to help parents and carers talk with children about traumatic events. The guide offers practical age-specific advice and has been developed by experts in child psychology, you can access this guide here . Events involving violence or serious harm can be especially difficult for children to understand or discuss. The guide focuses on helping children feel safe, supported and reassured, and encourages parents, carers or guardians to: Provide comfort and reassurance, including physical affection Remain calm and measured when discussing the event Maintain regular routines to restore a sense of normality Encourage play, connection and time with others Share honest, age-appropriate information from trusted sources Limit children’s exposure to news, especially younger children Listen patiently and validate children’s feelings Recognise that fear, anger, sadness or guilt are all normal reactions Looking after yourself, and supporting others Rachel Clements, R U OK? Advisor, and Director of Psychological Services at Centre for Corporate Health, said strong emotional reactions are normal and healthy for people of all ages following public acts of violence, even among those not directly impacted. “Some reactions that are incredibly normal are concern, shock, horror, disbelief. When that wears off sometimes, people experience stronger feelings, sometimes anger, despair, sadness, anxiety or fear-based behaviour." Ms Clements advised that connecting with friends, sporting clubs, or workplace networks, and simply asking ‘are you OK?’, can play a key role in supporting people experiencing distress. "This event will disrupt the nervous system. One of the most important things we can do is stay connected, talk to each other and lean into supportive conversations,” Ms Clements said. She suggested starting a genuine conversation by asking questions such as: 'it's been tough watching this information coming to light, how are you feeling about it?’ “Then, all you’ve got to do is listen with empathy, without judgment or interruption, and just allow someone to talk about their experience and how they are feeling. When it is the right time in the conversation, you can then gently guide someone towards supportive actions, like doing some gentle exercise, staying connected with friends and family, or maintaining regular routines.” Ms Clements emphasised the importance of checking in again to ensure people have continued support. If you notice someone’s distress is ongoing for several weeks and begins to affect their work or social life, professional help should be encouraged. If you or the children in your care are experiencing ongoing distress, consider speaking with a doctor or another trusted healthcare provider. Free and professional 24/7counselling services are available, find contact details here . If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 000. Ask R U OK? Any Day.
This year, Australians continued to grow their confidence and capability to ask, 'are you OK?' any day of the year - reminding us how real connection and meaningful conversations can happen in the most ordinary, everyday moments. Across every age and stage of life, people helped normalise these important check-ins by looking out for one another, reducing stigma, and driving genuine change. Thanks to our supporters, awareness continues to expand in schools, workplaces, sporting clubs, and communities in every corner of Australia. Thank you to everyone who started conversations, and to everyone who supported the mission and work of R U OK?. Below is a short video which shares a glimpse of the activity made possible through collaboration. *Voice-over by former-CEO, Katherine Newton.
