All of us experience ups and downs in life - there are times of joy and celebration, as well as life events or periods that are challenging, and some moments will contain a bit of both.
In these tough times, it’s the support of family, friends and colleagues that can help us through.
That’s why we’re calling on Australians to ask R U OK? when life happens.
This year, more than 100,000 Australians are expected to retire.
Retirement can be an exciting time, much looked forward to after years of hard work. But for some, closing the door on working life can be challenging, bringing financial stress, social isolation or the loss of identity and routine.
Retirees and experts share their tips on meaningfully supporting the people you care about through this transitional phase.
Geoff retired as a primary school Principal in 2023 and has many mates at a similar phase of life.
He has kept up a busy routine with several volunteering commitments, but his favourite slot in his weekly routine is a boxing group that he has run on Wednesday nights for over 30 years.
"I think blokes find it quite difficult to share feelings, I do myself. It's a lot easier if you give them something to do at the same time," Geoff said.
The side of retirement we need to speak about more
Five retirees share their experiences of life since stopping work and how connection and the support of others has helped them adjust.
Understanding life after work: Tips for supporting retirees
If you're unsure how you can support someone, we've got you covered. Here are some signs to look out for and tips on what you can say and do to help them.
ASK R U OK?
Choose a moment where you have time to listen and where there’s relative privacy so that they can share how they’re feeling.
You don’t have to use the words, ‘are you OK?’ – you can start the conversation in any way that feels right to you and your relationship with that person.
You could help them open up by specifically mentioning what they’re going through, with a question such as ‘How are you feeling about…?’.
If they respond by saying that they are doing well, they will still appreciate that you asked. It’s beneficial to check in even if someone isn’t struggling at that time and it lets them know that they can come to you in the future if they need.
LISTEN
Listen carefully to what they say. Don’t judge their experiences or reactions but acknowledge their feelings and what they’re going through.
It’s important to remember that much of what people go through in life will be out of your control. You don’t need to ‘solve’ or ‘fix’ what they’re going through, and often you can’t. Just listening and helping them feel heard can go a long way.
ENCOURAGE ACTION
Help them explore some actions they might be able to take to manage their situation. You could ask, ‘what has helped you in the past?’, or, ‘how would you like me to support you?’.
If they are really struggling, encourage them to access professional support. You could offer to help them book an appointment with their GP or research some helplines.
You can find a list of free 24/7 national support services at the link below.
CHECK IN
After the conversation, set yourself a reminder to check back in with them. Following up on the initial conversation shows them that you heard them and that you care.
You could say, ‘I've been thinking of you and wanted to know how you've been going since we last chatted’. You might need to repeat the above steps again and continue the conversation.
The 'When life happens, ask R U OK?' series is proudly supported by our Conversation Partner, ING Australia .
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