Never did I imagine a simple idea would lead to more men talking. But here we are.

I live in an agriculturally based community in Western Australia, and we were having (yet another) dry start to 2017. Growing up as a farmer in a regional town you spend endless hours working, and most of that time is spent alone.

I was really missing my close local mates who I used to see regularly when we played team sports together. Our lives had evolved and changed - having children of our own, trying to grow our businesses, and the natural change in direction of our life journeys. Team sport had played such an important part in my life up until that point, and we didn’t have any outlet to bring us together as a group. There were no male team sports left operating in our small country town.

So, on May 8 (Mate Day) I invited local blokes in Watheroo to a bloke’s night. Nothing fancy, just something simple that involved a bonfire, bbq and some beers, in the hope that we would get the chance to bond together. And talk about the b*llshit that life sometimes serves. I was so surprised by the turnout, and it got me thinking - there should be more opportunities and spaces for blokes to come together and chat.

That one night led to the men’s wellbeing group, #6Bs, being born!

I started holding more events and posting about them on social media using the hashtag #6Bs. The concept of #6Bs gained traction online and now blokes are hosting #6Bs events across Australia!

No doubt every event is different, but they all give men the opportunity to talk about life’s ups and downs.

So many of the conversations I have and stories I hear have common themes - relationship breakdowns, financial stress, and general life pressures felt by the modern man.  The unrealistic expectations of perfection that we place on ourselves – to be the best father, husband, partner, role model that we can be, and a feeling of failing when these are not met.

It’s these conversations and access to many great online resources that have given me a solid platform to continue to encourage men to connect and support one another through their shared experiences.

Since launching #6Bs, two of my biggest tips on how to start conversations with men are:

• Language and setting are vital. Men don’t talk face-to-face, we talk over our shoulders. If it is a face-to-face conversation, it is often taken as quite confrontational. For a conversation between regional-based blokes or farmers, the setting doesn’t get much better than either sitting in the front of a ute driving around or leaning on the back of a ute having a debrief with a beer. Lately, due to COVID, the chats I have been having with blokes have occurred over the phone or direct messaging on social media. It matters not how the conversation takes place, but most importantly that it takes place in a medium that they are comfortable with.
• Communication is more than speaking. Listening is arguably more important. We have one mouth, two ears and two eyes for a reason, and they should be used in that ratio. Speak little, listen and sense lots. Being able to sense and realise when someone isn’t their “normal” self is so important. When normal routines are broken and people start withdrawing from what they normally do, it’s a very good sign that things might be starting to go astray in their wellbeing.
  

That’s why #6Bs is all about the 3 C’s – communities connected in conversation.

To think that I may have made a bit of a difference in someone’s world, by listening to them, and letting them clear their headspace, is a wonderful thing. And it proves it is something everyone can do.