Why the Mateship Manual is important right now

hello • 8 April 2020

In challenging times such as these it is even more important that we all promote a sense of community, reach out and ask our friends, family and colleagues, “Are you OK?”. 

The coronavirus pandemic comes as many Australians are still feeling the impact of recent bushfires, floods and drought. 

In challenging times such as these it is even more important that we all promote a sense of community, reach out and ask our friends, family and colleagues, “Are you OK?”. 

The R U OK? Mateship Manual has been a popular resource for those supporting anyone going through a tough time, particularly those in rural areas.

Earlier this year R U OK? collaborated with Professor Nicholas Procter and the team at UniSA’s Mental Health and Suicide Prevention Research Group to update the Mateship Manual to provide guidance on how to support those who might be struggling in the wake of a natural disaster or emergency situation.

We asked him about this process and why information in the manual is a must for every Australian to read and share right now. Here’s what he had to say.

Professor Nicholas Procter

The Mateship Manual is so important right now because we need to stay connected.


Right now, we are faced with a global crisis that has very real local and individual impact. As well as people’s previous experiences and challenges, we have a compounding situation through health concerns, forced redundancies, financial uncertainties and more.


We must learn from those who have been faced with the trauma of crisis situations before and take on board what we can do and say to best support each other now.


The Mateship Manual combines these lived experience lessons with research and clinical expertise so we can all have some guidance on how to have these tough yet compassionate conversations if someone we know is struggling. You don’t have to be a health expert to help.

When R U OK? called, I jumped at the chance to be involved in the coming together of things we believe in.

When R U OK? asked us for guidance on how to support people who’ve been through difficult experiences due to a natural disaster or emergency situation, I pulled together a team to look at the Mateship Manual through a trauma informed lens.


We have a multi-disciplinary team – I’m a nursing professor leading a team made up of psychologists, social workers, nurses, a police officer and a human rights lawyer, just to name a few. 

The work we do is primarily in the area of mental health and suicide prevention. Everything we do is about bringing together the best science and combining it with lessons from people’s personal experience.

The keywords for our team are reach, relevance and impact. We aren’t doing research for research’s sake but making sure it makes a difference outside the world of academia.

For the Mateship Manual project, myself and the lead researchers on this team – Dr Miriam Posselt (research fellow and clinical psychologist who works mostly on trauma and service provision improvements) and Simon Tyler (graduate psychologist and former construction worker with a focus on men and suicide) – undertook a consultation with people who have lived through recent bushfire related trauma.

These insights were then combined with what we’ve learned over the years from research, clinical practice and a raft of people’s personal experiences and trauma in relation to drought, bushfires and refugee detention.

At its core being trauma informed means recognising the impact of trauma in our lives, how such experiences play out in someone’s life today, and actively resisting re-traumatisation.

Many people who seek assistance for mental health challenges have experienced some sort of trauma in their lives, usually through adverse childhood experiences, but also from previous exposure to natural disasters and emergency situations. 

When we say a trauma informed approach, we mean looking at how individuals, systems and services can actively resist and mitigate retraumatising someone. It also means trying to understand how certain events and experiences can retrigger past trauma and consciously choosing words and actions that are soothing and comforting for that person.

People who’ve come through these troubles before can be our best teachers

When we did the consultation for the Mateship Manual, we were taking the theory and science we had to hand and checking-in to synthesise that against people’s personal experiences.

Using a trauma informed approach to the conversations meant we could get a clear understanding of words and phrases that were more helpful than others. 

We could also recommend to R U OK? some of the contextual information to include in the manual so that everyday Australians could better empathise with someone who has survived a bushfire or similar.

“The turning point was when someone listened to me, they got it”


The right words come from human connection. People in distress have told us they have benefited most when they “feel felt” by the person. That turning point is the moment in a conversation or clinical interaction where you have maximum protective value. 


This is at the heart of human connection. 


When we can’t see each other in person, we need to get creative and stay connected


With many of us self-isolating and in quarantine, we need to make sure we think of new ways to connect and check in on one another. 


My team now works remotely and has weekly check-in meetings via video conference as well as individual catch ups when needed. We even had a virtual morning tea!


From a professional perspective we have to be flexible and be proactive in how we can shift our priorities to respond to a changing environment. For example, we are working closely with the South Australian government to look at how the UniSA team can support a state mental health response to scale up services for people living with mental illness who may be at increased risk of distress. 


As well as looking at what needs to happen locally, we must stay connected globally. Our research contributes to state and federal government policy and I am Australia’s national representative to the International Association of Suicide Prevention, ensuring we share ideas and resources across 70 countries. We are all in this together.


In my personal life, with my two daughters now living out of home, my wife and I are enjoying using our “fam bam” group chat to keep up to date with each other.


As R U OK? says so well, a conversation can change a life, so we all need to keep talking. I hope others find the information and tips in the Mateship Manual helpful. 


My team and I continue to be inspired by survivors across the country and are proud to have contributed to sharing what we have learned through the Mateship Manual.

View Mateship Manual
  • For immediate crisis support contact Lifeline on 13 11 14
  • Are you or a loved one feeling worried or struggling to cope? Visit https://coronavirus.beyondblue.org.au/
  • For more detailed information about the signs someone might be struggling and how to have an R U OK? conversation visit our How to Ask page.
  • If a conversation is too big for you or you need additional support visit our Find Help page.

3 February 2026
From growing up on farms to a shared interest in history, Australians, young and old, are discovering just how much they have in common, and how storytelling can connect generations in unexpected ways. What’s bringing them together is 'Heart and Soul Story', a social enterprise that fosters intergenerational connections. Through its programs, young people and older generations come together in aged care homes and schools to share stories, build life skills, and prevent loneliness. At a recent session which encouraged everyone to Ask R U OK? Any Day, students visited an aged-care community with R U OK? Conversation Bingo cards, which feature prompts to spark humour, curiosity, and connection.
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This year, Australians continued to grow their confidence and capability to ask, 'are you OK?' any day of the year - reminding us how real connection and meaningful conversations can happen in the most ordinary, everyday moments. Across every age and stage of life, people helped normalise these important check-ins by looking out for one another, reducing stigma, and driving genuine change. Thanks to our supporters, awareness continues to expand in schools, workplaces, sporting clubs, and communities in every corner of Australia. Thank you to everyone who started conversations, and to everyone who supported the mission and work of R U OK?. Below is a short video which shares a glimpse of the activity made possible through collaboration. *Voice-over by former-CEO, Katherine Newton.
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