A personal account of depression and what you need to remember

Alex Phillips is an R U OK? supporter and the founder and editor of The Banter Press – a series of thoughts, reflections, soulful advice and general banter for conquering your twenties and beyond.

This article first appeared on The Banter Press.

Depression is an unforgiving force that will strangle the life out of you if you allow it to. There was a time in my life when I could not catch my breath. I was drowning in a pool of toxic thoughts, existing only in the physical form. The incessant current of negativity shooting through my veins made for a very confusing couple of years. I felt as though my tears were unjustified and my problems insignificant. Any attempt to decipher this wretched onslaught of emotion would involve listing anything remotely negative in my life, a harmful tactic employed to justify the seemingly irrational flood of tears. Of course, this only provoked a vicious cycle, one that has taken me years to reverse. Every now and then, it will resurface, ready to trap me in my moments of vulnerability. Fortunately, I’m stronger now (mentally) and able to fight off the demons that attempt to latch on and demolish my spirit. If you’re battling similar demons, you need to remember that you are not alone. Secondly, you need to believe that there is a way out of the trenches you’ve fallen into.

The inexplicable string of emotions, the feelings of disconnect, the assumption that nobody will understand what you’re going through - this is the reality for 3 million Australians who suffer from depression and anxiety. You are not alone in this battle. There is an enormous ecosystem of support available to you, ready to uproot you from the darkness that is currently obstructing your view of the future.

Talking through your feelings, regardless of how painful it may be, is the only way you’re going to soothe your soul and plant those seeds of positivity. It is impossible to gain perspective when the same toxic thoughts are circulating around and poisoning your mindset. My policy is to cry it out and talk it out - it is the first step to dissolving those feelings of isolation and lightening the burden. The monumental wave of relief that flows from an honest conversation is truly liberating. I’m no longer afraid to share my story, in fact, I consider it the best form of therapy.

Remember that you are strong and resilient and you will survive this seemingly endless rough patch - it does not have to bleed into the rest of your life. I know that some days can feel like a complete write-off, but there is a bright future that lies ahead of you and surrounding yourself with a powerful network of support is the best way to unlock that future.

If someone you know is one of the 3 million and you’d like to help them share their story, R U OK? encourages you to start the conversation using these 4 steps:

1. Ask R U OK?

2. Listen; without judgement

3. Encourage action

4. Check in

If you or someone you know is in need of crisis support, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or visit www.lifeline.org.au/gethelp.

You can find other support services on R U OK?'s Find Help page.