You don't need to be an expert to make a difference

hello • 5 February 2018

New research from beyondblue indicates people are concerned they don't have the skills to make a difference to someone experiencing suicidal ideation but those with lived-experience say they can.

The warning signs of suicide are sometimes subtle but learning how to identify them and raise your concerns could help change another person’s life – and you don’t have to be an expert to make a difference.

Ground-breaking new research from beyondblue has found that while few people express their suicidal thoughts directly to others, they often show signs through changes in their behaviour.


A national beyondblue-commissioned survey found everyday Australians want to help family and friends at risk of suicide, but are unsure how to identify and respond to the warning signs:

·50 per cent of participants believe assisting someone at risk requires the skills of a professional;

·40 cent of survey respondents believe suicide happens without warning;

·30 per cent believe most people at risk of suicide show no sign; and

·30 per cent believe discussing suicide could encourage a person to consider planning suicide.

beyondblue CEO Georgie Harman said the fact that half of the community think only a professional can make a difference is both a concern and an opportunity.

“You don’t need to be an expert,” Ms Harman said. “There are simple things every one of us can do and say that can reduce suicide.”

“It’s natural for family, friends and workmates to worry about saying or doing the right thing if someone is feeling suicidal,” Ms Harman said.

“But people who have thought about suicide told us through the research that having someone listen to them and show care and support was the most important thing to them – and you don’t need to be a health professional to do that,” Ms Harman said.

R U OK? CEO Brendan Maher believes we’ve all got the resources to change this.

“Our eyes, ears and mouth are a set of resources that we all have that are too often held hostage by fear, shame and stigma. Yet this research shows that if we use them to identify the signs someone’s struggling and start a conversation with them, we could potentially save a life,” he said.

The non-verbal signs that indicate it’s time to reach out to someone include social withdrawal, a persistent drop in mood, disinterest in maintaining personal hygiene or appearance, uncharacteristically reckless behaviour, poor diet changes, rapid weight changes, being distracted, anger, insomnia, alcohol or drug abuse and giving away sentimental or expensive possessions.

Indirect verbal expressions include hopelessness, failing to see a future, believing they are a burden to others, saying they feel worthless or alone and talking about their death or wanting to die.

If you notice these signs take them seriously and follow R U OK?’s four steps:

·Ask R U OK?: Start the conversation. Asking open questions and mentioning the specific things that have made you concerned for them can help them open up.

·Listen with an open mind: Take what they seriously, don’t rush the conversation and encourage them to explain what’s going on for them.

·Encourage action: Help them think of actions and next steps they can take to help them better manage the load.

·Check in: Make a plan to connect with them again soon, if they’re really struggling follow up with them sooner.

If someone says they’re thinking of suicide it’s important to take the comment seriously and not panic. Rachel Clements is the Director of Psychological Services at the Centre for Corporate Health (CFCH) and a member of the R U OK? Conversation Think Tank. She explains how to approach someone who’s experiencing suicidal ideation.

"There are three things to keep front of mind. Firstly, people who open up or disclose thoughts of suicide have often chosen that person very carefully. So, if someone opens up to you it’s a sign they trust you or see something in you that resonates with them and has enabled them to come forward.


"Secondly, if they’ve opened up it’s usually because they want help. They are already in the mindset of reaching out and wanting support, so it’s your role to be the vehicle that steers them in the right direction.


"Thirdly, it’s an invitation to step into a conversation with them, so don’t shut it down even if you’re uncomfortable,” she says.

If someone discloses thoughts of suicide, take them seriously and don’t leave the person alone. Explain that thoughts of suicide are common and that you would like to support them by connecting them with someone who can help. Ensure the person is connected with a treating practitioner such as a GP, Counsellor or Psychologist, where possible make the appointment with them. As an immediate measure connect them with the Suicide Call Back Service or Lifeline which provide crisis support.

If you think someone is at immediate risk call 000 and ask for an ambulance. Stay by their side whilst waiting for the ambulance to arrive.

Learn more about identifying and responding to warning signs of suicide here.

If you or a loved one need immediate support contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 for free 24/7 telephone crisis support. Other supports can be found at www.ruok.org.au/findhelp


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After ten years of teamwork, partnerships, growth, and countless conversations, I will be stepping down as CEO from 1 December 2025. It has been an extraordinary privilege to contribute to the growth of this movement and to witness meaningful change before my eyes. Gavin Larkin founded R U OK? because he believed conversation has the power to change lives. One seemingly simple question, when asked with genuine intent and care, can start a meaningful and sometimes complex conversation. And that’s what Gavin wanted. For people to look beyond responses of “I’m fine” or “All good” and ask, “Are you really OK?”. The notion of going deeper with conversations, of asking a second time, of trusting our guts and moving past our hesitation - is being grasped and moving beyond one day to any day. Whilst saying “G’day how are you?” will always be a greeting - we can do more. When Gavin lost his father to suicide he wanted to try and protect other families from the pain his endured. He wanted to get people talking and having real chats about how they’re feeling with their mates, their family and their colleagues. In locker rooms, lunch rooms, and lounge rooms across the nation. But he approached it from a different angle. Gavin wanted all of us to have the confidence to support the people we care about who might be struggling with life. To make conversations a natural part of our behaviour, to openly show our signals of support. So as R U OK? generations continue to evolve, my chapter is coming to a close. How fortunate I am to have been part of the story. From hesitant glances during presentations in 2015 to queues of people waiting for a conversation in 2025. From yellow wigs in the office, to welcoming yellow-swathed Ambassadors to share their lived experience. From yellow coffee cups in a café, to yellow cars driving into communities nationwide. And yes, there’s been a few cupcakes along the way. Social change is happening, and we are all a part of it. No one organisation can prevent suicide, no one individual can save everyone - but the power of many can make a difference.
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