Manspeak - The importance of talking with mates

hello • 12 December 2016


With Christmas just around the corner, celebrations, holidays and catch ups can be a time to relax and enjoy our family and friends, but it can also be a time when loneliness, personal struggles, conflict and loss can raise its head and make us feel vulnerable. R U OK? have designed a series of videos aimed at encouraging men to get comfortable asking their mates if they’re ok. By asking and listening we can show our mates they don’t need to tackle their problems alone and reassure them that help is available. To get the conversation flowing R U OK? are sharing videos, tips and resources across social media using the hashtag; #manspeak.

IT’S a fact that men are statistically less likely to seek help when they are struggling with life, feeling overwhelmed or suffering from mental health issues, than women.


It’s also true that some men try to manage feelings of sadness, stress and emptiness by using alcohol or drugs, withdrawing socially or avoiding situations and past times that once gave them pleasure.

Why is that?

In an ideal world, men who are struggling or in crisis would feel confident and empowered enough to ask for help. But statistics reveal that two thirds of men don’t.

Despite this, men are more likely to talk to mates before a health professional. R U OK? are keen to encourage more opportunities for men to talk comfortably with each other and normalize checking in with someone who appears to be struggling.

A beyondblue report found 50 per cent of men rarely talk about deeper personal issues with mates but almost a third wished they could open up more.

A lot of men want greater openness with their mates but don’t always have the skills to start the conversation or know how to respond when a friend opens up.

To help navigate these conversations - R U OK? have created a video series called # Manspeak.

You can watch the videos here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLEmG14uBwEvDVzj7VdEp179Z9B833d1zC

It’s a pattern that doesn’t need to end in tears.

THE latest Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) suicide figures for 2015 speak volumes about the need for Australian men to support and talk to each other more, before things get to crisis point.

Suicide is the leading cause of death for both men and women between the ages of 15 and 44, but men aged 85 and over accounted for the highest suicide rate in Australia in 2015 with 68 deaths, then men between the ages of 40 and 44, followed by men aged 45 to 54.
3027 people took their own lives in 2015, an increase from 2684 in 2014.

That’s eight people per day in Australia. Six of those eight are men. Someone’s dad, someone’s mate, someone’s work colleague, a man we love.

When should we check in with our mates?

The study also identified a combined set of behaviors that appeared to set men on a path to suicidal thought. Those were:

-Depressed or anxious mood
-Unhelpful or inflexible beliefs or values about themselves or their circumstances
-Avoidant coping strategies; turning away from problems because they felt unable to fix or deal with them
-Accumulated life stressors like divorce, debt, feeling trapped, loss of job, identity issues, infidelity, addiction, health, stuck in a rut, mental health problems.


Students reflect on meaningful connection through R U OK? National Student Art Competition

12 November 2025
Collages of life’s joys, portraits of loved ones, cultural celebrations, and reflections on the barriers to connection - the Creative Legends and Finalists of the R U OK? National Art Competition expressed creativity, vulnerability and individuality through their incredible artwork.
A montage of images of people in relationships

Why support matters when relationships end

30 October 2025
Relationships shape our lives so when any meaningful relationship ends, the loss can be deeply personal and painful. 

Announcement from the CEO, Katherine Newton

by Katherine Newton • 16 October 2025
After ten years of teamwork, partnerships, growth, and countless conversations, I will be stepping down as CEO from 1 December 2025. It has been an extraordinary privilege to contribute to the growth of this movement and to witness meaningful change before my eyes. Gavin Larkin founded R U OK? because he believed conversation has the power to change lives. One seemingly simple question, when asked with genuine intent and care, can start a meaningful and sometimes complex conversation. And that’s what Gavin wanted. For people to look beyond responses of “I’m fine” or “All good” and ask, “Are you really OK?”. The notion of going deeper with conversations, of asking a second time, of trusting our guts and moving past our hesitation - is being grasped and moving beyond one day to any day. Whilst saying “G’day how are you?” will always be a greeting - we can do more. When Gavin lost his father to suicide he wanted to try and protect other families from the pain his endured. He wanted to get people talking and having real chats about how they’re feeling with their mates, their family and their colleagues. In locker rooms, lunch rooms, and lounge rooms across the nation. But he approached it from a different angle. Gavin wanted all of us to have the confidence to support the people we care about who might be struggling with life. To make conversations a natural part of our behaviour, to openly show our signals of support. So as R U OK? generations continue to evolve, my chapter is coming to a close. How fortunate I am to have been part of the story. From hesitant glances during presentations in 2015 to queues of people waiting for a conversation in 2025. From yellow wigs in the office, to welcoming yellow-swathed Ambassadors to share their lived experience. From yellow coffee cups in a café, to yellow cars driving into communities nationwide. And yes, there’s been a few cupcakes along the way. Social change is happening, and we are all a part of it. No one organisation can prevent suicide, no one individual can save everyone - but the power of many can make a difference.
Show More