Five ways to give the gift of conversation this Christmas
hello • 21 December 2020
With Christmas almost here, it’s the perfect time to pause and consider if there’s someone in your world who might be feeling disconnected or isolated this holiday season. For some Australians, Christmas can be one of the toughest times of the year - their first Christmas since losing a loved one, financial problems, relationship breakdowns, quarantine and closed borders are just some of the things they might be dealing with.
“This has been a year unlike any other and the holiday season for many Australians won’t be quite the same as in years past,” said R U OK? CEO Katherine Newton.
“As well as the social, emotional and financial pressures of the last twelve months, many are facing the prospect of disconnection from friends and loved ones this Christmas.”
Research conducted by Relationships Australia[1] reveals that around a third of survey respondents often felt left out or isolated during the Christmas period, which means you probably know more than one person who might be struggling at this time of year.
While this idea can be confronting, there are things you can do to help those who are feeling this way. We asked five friends of R U OK? for their tips on how to connect with others and give the gift of conversation.
Here’s what they said:
- “Amongst the rush of December, make some time for your friends and family who might be feeling left out or run down. If you know they’re working long hours or might miss a family event due to work, book in another time to see them so they can still look forward to catching up. Use that time to give the gift of conversation and help them feel connected.” – Ryan Daykin
- “If you think someone might be disconnected or struggling, use that time you'd spend shopping for gifts to check in on them. The gift of conversation can hold so much more value than a present." – Kristina Lawrence
- “Use the different events or tasks in the December rush as an opportunity to 'tag along' or invite someone to join you. It can feel so overwhelming to catch up with everyone plus get all the work and family commitments completed. Try and take the opportunity to do both wherever possible!" – Matt Newlands
- “Christmas can be a difficult time for many. For some it's a very lonely time made even lonelier with all the media focus on family and friends getting together, and everyone being connected and happy. This can dip susceptible people deeper into depression and anxiety. If you know someone who looks/sounds like they're struggling, make sure you don't forget them on Christmas day. Reach out and send them a message or call them, or, even better, and if you can, invite them to your lunch or dinner.” – Megan Barrow
- “If you know someone whose Christmas plans have been altered or cancelled, reach out and offer a listening ear. For many, Christmas is the one time of the year that they can see family members and loved ones, but this year, that might not happen.” – Kieran Resevsky
This Christmas take the time to connect with people who might be feeling left out or alone. You might go for a walk, pick up the phone, send a letter, make time for a cuppa – enjoy any connection that says, ‘Hey, I know this time of year can be difficult, but you’re not alone and I care about you,’ because a conversation could change a life.
Don’t let it be a silent night for anyone in your world. Reach out to them, give them the gift of a meaningful conversation, show them you care and lend support where it’s needed.
Give the ‘Gift of Conversation’ Learn how at www.ruok.org.au
[1] Relationships Australia. 2018. December 2018: Social Isolation At Christmas Time. [online] Available at: <https://www.relationships.org.au/what-we-do/research/online-survey/december-2018-social-isolation-at-christmas-time>.
Collages of life’s joys, portraits of loved ones, cultural celebrations, and reflections on the barriers to connection - the Creative Legends and Finalists of the R U OK? National Art Competition expressed creativity, vulnerability and individuality through their incredible artwork.
Relationships shape our lives so when any meaningful relationship ends, the loss can be deeply personal and painful.
After ten years of teamwork, partnerships, growth, and countless conversations, I will be stepping down as CEO from 1 December 2025. It has been an extraordinary privilege to contribute to the growth of this movement and to witness meaningful change before my eyes. Gavin Larkin founded R U OK? because he believed conversation has the power to change lives. One seemingly simple question, when asked with genuine intent and care, can start a meaningful and sometimes complex conversation. And that’s what Gavin wanted. For people to look beyond responses of “I’m fine” or “All good” and ask, “Are you really OK?”. The notion of going deeper with conversations, of asking a second time, of trusting our guts and moving past our hesitation - is being grasped and moving beyond one day to any day. Whilst saying “G’day how are you?” will always be a greeting - we can do more. When Gavin lost his father to suicide he wanted to try and protect other families from the pain his endured. He wanted to get people talking and having real chats about how they’re feeling with their mates, their family and their colleagues. In locker rooms, lunch rooms, and lounge rooms across the nation. But he approached it from a different angle. Gavin wanted all of us to have the confidence to support the people we care about who might be struggling with life. To make conversations a natural part of our behaviour, to openly show our signals of support. So as R U OK? generations continue to evolve, my chapter is coming to a close. How fortunate I am to have been part of the story. From hesitant glances during presentations in 2015 to queues of people waiting for a conversation in 2025. From yellow wigs in the office, to welcoming yellow-swathed Ambassadors to share their lived experience. From yellow coffee cups in a café, to yellow cars driving into communities nationwide. And yes, there’s been a few cupcakes along the way. Social change is happening, and we are all a part of it. No one organisation can prevent suicide, no one individual can save everyone - but the power of many can make a difference.
