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Leigh found strength and acceptance through her chosen family

Wed, 22 Apr 2026 01:09:56 GMT

After a violent attack shook Leigh’s sense of safety and identity, it was connection and genuine care from friends that helped her find her way back.

Connections Keep Us On Track

Wed, 15 Apr 2026 00:21:48 GMT

Jaime, Gary, Shane and Kevin share their experiences in the rail industry to show how powerful it can be to check in and ask, 'are you OK?' any day.

How Ange found her place, and her people, at the gym

Tue, 31 Mar 2026 23:52:10 GMT

After moving away from her regional hometown, Ange found connection, support and belonging in an unexpected place: her local gym.

How Connection Helped Milan Recover

Mon, 30 Mar 2026 04:11:51 GMT

After reaching crisis point, Milan found hope through connection and community. For Milan, recovery began with one question, 'are you OK?'.

Connection helped Nazik adapt to a new life - now she's giving back

Wed, 18 Mar 2026 02:20:19 GMT

With Harmony Week highlighting the importance of belonging, Nazik’s story of overcoming adversity shows how connection can shape a life.

The women who became Sarah's village when she was struggling

Thu, 05 Mar 2026 23:33:43 GMT

When post-natal depression left Sarah feeling isolated, it was support from the women around her that helped carry her through.

Conversation Convoy strengthens what communities started

Wed, 25 Feb 2026 22:52:01 GMT

When the Conversation Convoy visited Macclesfield in the Adelaide Hills; it was clear that strong community connections were already in place.

Connecting generations through conversation and storytelling

Tue, 03 Feb 2026 22:22:31 GMT

From growing up on farms to a shared interest in history, Australians, young and old, are discovering just how much they have in common, and how storytelling can connect generations in unexpected ways.

What’s bringing them together is 'Heart and Soul Story', a social enterprise that fosters intergenerational connections. Through its programs, young people and older generations come together in aged care homes and schools to share stories, build life skills, and prevent loneliness.

At a recent session which encouraged everyone to Ask R U OK? Any Day, students visited an aged-care community with R U OK? Conversation Bingo cards, which feature prompts to spark humour, curiosity, and connection.

One resident reflected on his time on a dairy farm and his career driving trucks across Australia, while another spoke about his life in Tonga - jumping off the wharf with friends and watching whales in the distance. The young people listened and began conversations about sport, superpowers and their favourite subjects at school.

The warm conversations and connection show how much can be gained from intergenerational relationships, how these lessons can be applied in everyday life, and how each of us can learn and benefit from intentionally building connection with people of all ages and backgrounds.

According to Heart and Soul Story founder Samantha Heron, interactions across generations create valuable opportunities for empathy, mutual learning, and emotional well-being.

“Empathy allows younger and older people to see beyond stereotypes. Our older people also rediscover their relevance. Both sides grow in emotional wellbeing, mutual respect, and feel a sense of purpose,” Samantha said.

“These relationships remind us all, no matter our age, that we matter. That our stories are worth hearing. That being seen and valued doesn’t stop at any stage in life.”

Addressing loneliness across generations

Loneliness doesn’t discriminate by age. According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, around one in six Australians aged 15 and over report feeling lonely.

For those aged 65 and over, the risk can be even greater, driven by changes in health, mobility, social circles, or the loss of loved ones.

But young people aren’t immune either. The rise of digital communication and social media has left many feeling more connected online yet less connected in real life.

Samantha believes that fostering intergenerational relationships can make a profound difference to people who might be experiencing loneliness, or isolation, which means being disconnected physically or socially.

“When older people are connected with youth, something powerful happens. They’re given the space to share their stories, pass on their wisdom, and feel seen, not just as aged-care residents, but as people with valuable life experience,” said Samantha.

“These are not surface-level chats; they’re often meaningful exchanges that nourish people emotionally.”

How to spark connection

Sparking a connection doesn’t have to start with a profound or serious conversation, often, it begins with a simple question and a genuine willingness to listen.

“The key is to create easy, authentic opportunities for connection, like questions that invite storytelling and reflection,” Samantha explained.

“Whether it’s with an older neighbour, or someone you’ve never properly chatted with before, don’t underestimate the power of asking, listening, and connecting.”

You don’t need the perfect words. What matters is being present and willing to listen. If you sense someone is lonely, ask how they're going, listen, offer support, and check in again later.

If you’re unsure how to begin, R U OK? has a range of free tools and conversation guides to help start meaningful discussions and build stronger connections.

For more information and resources, visit R U OK? – Your Natter Matters: https://www.ruok.org.au/yournattermatters

The quiet power of showing up for your partner

Tue, 13 Jan 2026 02:43:12 GMT

When Mitch Tambo needed support, connection helped him through. His story shows how genuine conversations can offer strength, understanding and hope.

Caring for yourself and others following traumatic events

Sun, 14 Dec 2025 04:18:32 GMT

The recent incident in Sydney has left many feeling distressed and overwhelmed, and you may notice the children in your life are struggling too.
Below, you’ll find advice from mental health experts on caring for your own wellbeing, and providing meaningful support to others in the days and weeks ahead.

Talking to children about traumatic events

Children are likely to have seen and heard distressing information about this incident. Ongoing news coverage, images and discussion can intensify feelings of anxiety, sadness and anger.

The Child Mind Institute has published a practical guide to help parents and carers talk with children about traumatic events. The guide offers practical age-specific advice and has been developed by experts in child psychology, you can access this guide here .

Events involving violence or serious harm can be especially difficult for children to understand or discuss. The guide focuses on helping children feel safe, supported and reassured, and encourages parents, carers or guardians to:

Provide comfort and reassurance, including physical affection
Remain calm and measured when discussing the event
Maintain regular routines to restore a sense of normality
Encourage play, connection and time with others
Share honest, age-appropriate information from trusted sources
Limit children’s exposure to news, especially younger children
Listen patiently and validate children’s feelings
Recognise that fear, anger, sadness or guilt are all normal reactions

Looking after yourself, and supporting others

Rachel Clements, R U OK? Advisor, and Director of Psychological Services at Centre for Corporate Health, said strong emotional reactions are normal and healthy for people of all ages following public acts of violence, even among those not directly impacted.

“Some reactions that are incredibly normal are concern, shock, horror, disbelief. When that wears off sometimes, people experience stronger feelings, sometimes anger, despair, sadness, anxiety or fear-based behaviour."

Ms Clements advised that connecting with friends, sporting clubs, or workplace networks, and simply asking ‘are you OK?’, can play a key role in supporting people experiencing distress.

"This event will disrupt the nervous system. One of the most important things we can do is stay connected, talk to each other and lean into supportive conversations,” Ms Clements said. She suggested starting a genuine conversation by asking questions such as: 'it's been tough watching this information coming to light, how are you feeling about it?’

“Then, all you’ve got to do is listen with empathy, without judgment or interruption, and just allow someone to talk about their experience and how they are feeling. When it is the right time in the conversation, you can then gently guide someone towards supportive actions, like doing some gentle exercise, staying connected with friends and family, or maintaining regular routines.”

Ms Clements emphasised the importance of checking in again to ensure people have continued support. If you notice someone’s distress is ongoing for several weeks and begins to affect their work or social life, professional help should be encouraged.

If you or the children in your care are experiencing ongoing distress, consider speaking with a doctor or another trusted healthcare provider.
Free and professional 24/7counselling services are available, find contact details here . If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 000.

Ask R U OK? Any Day.

Michelle Heyman on speaking out and starting over

Wed, 10 Dec 2025 16:54:10 GMT

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Students reflect on meaningful connection through R U OK? National Student Art Competition

Wed, 12 Nov 2025 00:57:15 GMT

Collages of life’s joys, portraits of loved ones, cultural celebrations, and reflections on the barriers to connection - the Creative Legends and Finalists of the R U OK? National Art Competition expressed creativity, vulnerability and individuality through their incredible artwork.

In mid-2025, Year 7 and 8 students from across Australia were invited to respond to the question, 'What does connection mean to you?'. Their artistic responses were submitted as entries in the 2025 Competition.

From 16 talented finalists, five Creative Legends were selected by a judging panel based on their artistic skill, imaginative storytelling, and the strength with which they conveyed the R U OK? message through painting, drawing, and digital art.

Among the Creative Legends was Lucas, a member of Tamm Art Studio, whose artwork ‘Universe, Ocean, Sunrise and the Core’ impressed judges with its heartfelt depiction of how connection with family supports and uplifts us. Tamm Art Studio Director, Ann Tamm, observed how the competition had a positive influence on students by bringing increased awareness of mental health and the importance of connection.

“It’s not just about winning; it’s about being part of something that encourages care, creativity, and community. Hopefully those that see the winning images are inspired to express their care to others,” said Ms Tamm.

R U OK? Education and Young People Manager, Dr Hannah Brown, said connection plays a vital role in supporting the wellbeing of young people – helping them feel seen, supported, and valued, and reminding them to check in on their peers.

“By engaging students creatively, we can encourage young people to think about who and what helps them feel connected, along with the value these meaningful connections bring to their lives,”

“This year’s winning artworks beautifully capture this spirit.”

The Creative Legends received a certificate and an art prize pack, and their schools received resources designed to foster peer support and strengthen conversation, including an R U OK? Conversation Bench.

R U OK? extends heartfelt thanks to every student who used their creativity to make a difference, to their schools for supporting their entries, ACCO Brands for generously donating the prizes, and the judging panel for their time and feedback.

The Five Creative Legends

We are Connected

Eloi, Cumberland High School, Year 7

"Since going into high school, I felt worried about making friends. In my artwork, this is shown by the colours on the shirts. However, by making new connections with friends, I was able to overcome these obstacles. To me, connection is a way of socialising and engaging with my community and the people around me."

Connection

Summer, Unity Studios, Year 8

“Connection is a visual representation of how I keep my heart happy when I am not OK. The photographs are of the people and the places I feel deeply connected to. I have placed the black and white photographs on a black background for contrast and used the red heart as a symbol of the love I have for these people and places.”

Universe, Ocean, Sunrise and the Core

Lucas, Tamm Art Studio, Year 7

“In my heart, my mother is like a vast, boundless universe. Each twinkling star represents her love, wisdom, and patience. I’ve used symbolism to show her gentleness, ability to hold our family together, and the way she makes everyone’s day brighter. Mum is my universe, my ocean, my sunrise, and the most important piece in the puzzle of my life. I love you, Mum.”

Connection

Abi, Singleton High School, Year 7

“My artwork is about connection and the different ways people can feel supported, through caring for ourselves, connecting with family, friends, and culture. My artwork is a reminder to check in on the people around us and to ask, ‘R U OK?’, because connections can make a big difference in someone’s life.”

Sunset

Shana, Balwyn High School, Year 8

“My painting reflects on the bond between me and my dog. I got my dog, Celo, when I was 10 years old after promising to take care of a puppy, which was a huge responsibility. Over time, Celo and I developed a strong connection, and he became my best friend.”

Why support matters when relationships end

Thu, 30 Oct 2025 03:42:25 GMT

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Announcement from the CEO, Katherine Newton

Thu, 16 Oct 2025 01:50:26 GMT

After ten years of teamwork, partnerships, growth, and countless conversations, I will be stepping down as CEO from 1 December 2025.

It has been an extraordinary privilege to contribute to the growth of this movement and to witness meaningful change before my eyes.

Gavin Larkin founded R U OK? because he believed conversation has the power to change lives. One seemingly simple question, when asked with genuine intent and care, can start a meaningful and sometimes complex conversation. And that’s what Gavin wanted. For people to look beyond responses of “I’m fine” or “All good” and ask, “Are you really OK?”.

The notion of going deeper with conversations, of asking a second time, of trusting our guts and moving past our hesitation - is being grasped and moving beyond one day to any day. Whilst saying “G’day how are you?” will always be a greeting - we can do more.

When Gavin lost his father to suicide he wanted to try and protect other families from the pain his endured. He wanted to get people talking and having real chats about how they’re feeling with their mates, their family and their colleagues. In locker rooms, lunch rooms, and lounge rooms across the nation. But he approached it from a different angle. Gavin wanted all of us to have the confidence to support the people we care about who might be struggling with life. To make conversations a natural part of our behaviour, to openly show our signals of support.

So as R U OK? generations continue to evolve, my chapter is coming to a close. How fortunate I am to have been part of the story.

From hesitant glances during presentations in 2015 to queues of people waiting for a conversation in 2025. From yellow wigs in the office, to welcoming yellow-swathed Ambassadors to share their lived experience. From yellow coffee cups in a café, to yellow cars driving into communities nationwide. And yes, there’s been a few cupcakes along the way.

Social change is happening, and we are all a part of it. No one organisation can prevent suicide, no one individual can save everyone - but the power of many can make a difference.

The R U OK? Board has appointed Lachlan Searle to lead the next chapter. Lach brings deep sector experience, executive leadership, business acumen and a longstanding commitment to our mission having served as the R U OK? Community Director for almost two years.

Before joining R U OK?, Lach was a dedicated supporter, volunteering his time on our Conversation Convoy. I have watched as he quickly found his position within this team and forged connections that show the depth of empathy he has for those he knows and those he has yet to meet. His warmth and respect have been apparent from his first day, and I have every confidence R U OK? will continue to thrive under his leadership.

Our team is strong, and as passionate as ever. I thank them for every conversation, every effort, and the care they take to help build a more connected world. Many don’t realise we are a small team of 25 people. Every skill they bring - personal and professional - makes us small but mighty.

Of course, R U OK? wouldn’t be where it is today if it wasn’t for the dedication and energy of those who came before us - board members, team members, ambassadors and partners. Their tenacity and belief have contributed to this movement alongside the Larkin family with their grace and humility.

As I begin to handover and step lightly towards 1 December, I encourage you to think about how R U OK? can make a difference in your world, in your way, any day.

2025 with R U OK?

Thu, 09 Oct 2025 23:17:40 GMT

This year, Australians continued to grow their confidence and capability to ask, 'are you OK?' any day of the year - reminding us how real connection and meaningful conversations can happen in the most ordinary, everyday moments.

Across every age and stage of life, people helped normalise these important check-ins by looking out for one another, reducing stigma, and driving genuine change. Thanks to our supporters, awareness continues to expand in schools, workplaces, sporting clubs, and communities in every corner of Australia.

Thank you to everyone who started conversations, and to everyone who supported the mission and work of R U OK?.

Below is a short video which shares a glimpse of the activity made possible through collaboration.
*Voice-over by former-CEO, Katherine Newton.

Holiday office closure

The R U OK? office will close for the holiday break from Wednesday, 24 December 2025, through to Monday, 12 January 2026.

If you are experiencing difficult emotions throughout this period, please reach out to Lifeline on 13 11 14 for free and confidential support at any time 24/7. If you are concerned about your own safety or someone else's, please call Triple Zero (000) immediately.

You can also find contact details for other specialised counselling and support services here , as well as tips and resources to help you support someone. For those who are feeling well and able, we encourage you to Give the Gift of Conversation by asking 'are you okay' these holidays - a simple, genuine check-in can make a world of difference. You can find tips and resources to help you support someone here .

Show you care during Mental Health Month

Thu, 25 Sep 2025 00:20:18 GMT

October is Mental Health Month - a time to check in with yourself and those around you because asking 'are you OK?' could be the question that helps someone feel seen, valued, and supported.

Community connection is the theme of World Mental Health Day on 10 October and whether at home, work, school, in the community or online, Mental Health Australia is encouraging everyone to talk about mental health, reduce stigma, find support – and connect with our communities.

The Australian Bureau of Statistics data 1 in 5 Australians are experiencing higher-than-usual levels of distress due to social and economic pressures which makes staying connected more important than ever. The good news is that more of us are doing just that with R U OK? research revealing 1 in 3 Australians checking in with others more often than at the same time last year.. But there’s always more we can do.

It’s natural to feel unsure about starting a conversation when you've noticed someone is struggling. You might be worried you'll say the wrong thing or not know how to help. But an overwhelming majority of people say they feel more grateful, supported and cared about someone they trust checks in.

So, this month and every month, think about the people you care about and ask, 'are you OK?' to start a conversation that could a change a life.

If you’re unsure how to start, the R U OK? A.L.E.C. model can help guide you:

ASK R U OK? – in a way that feels natural for you.
LISTEN – with an open mind and without judgement.
ENCOURAGE ACTION – suggest something that might help or gently guide them towards professional support if needed.
CHECK IN – follow up to let them know you’re still there and that you care.

You don’t need to have all the answers. What matters most is simply being there to listen and showing you care. If someone needs more help, encourage them to speak with a professional.

If it’s an emergency, call 000. Lifeline’s 24/7 crisis support service is available on 13 11 14, or you can find more support services by visiting: www.ruok.org.au/findhelp

R U OK? has resources, including the Guide to Supporting R U OK?, a conversation guide, videos, posters, social media tiles and more to help people start more

life-changing conversations in their workplace, school and community.

SIGN UP FOR FREE RESOURCES HERE

Young people lead the way in asking R U OK?

Thu, 11 Sep 2025 03:31:58 GMT

New insights reveal young people are leading the way in regularly supporting each other with an overwhelming majority (94%) saying they have supported someone at least once in the past month while a cross the previous year, 57% of those aged 16 - 24 years have more regularly been asking others, ‘are you OK?’.

In her two decades as an educator, Kate Jones has seen a powerful shift in how students support one another.

“When I look at young people today, I see them leading the way in how they care for each other. They’re having open, honest conversations that my generation simply didn’t have.

Kate Jones has seen firsthand how young people support each other through her career as an educator.

The educator from the New South Wales town of Aberdeen, is an R U OK? Community Ambassador and a passionate advocate for the power of meaningful conversations, especially in regional communities because for her, one conversation changed everything.

Grieving the death of her husband and sitting alone on a park bench, she was approached by a member of the R U OK? team, who began a quiet, compassionate conversation.

"That moment reminded me of the power of human connection, especially when it comes from a place of genuine care,” Kate said.

The strength she gained from that first conversation helped her begin to process her grief when 18 months later, her son died by suicide.

"It gave me the tools I didn't know I needed,” said Kate. “I believe we should check in any day, not only on special days.”

New data reveals Australians are stepping up

Young people are more regularly asking each other ‘are you OK?’ and initiating meaningful conversations, according to the latest R U OK? insights.

The findings coincide with R U OK?Day, a National Day of Action that encourages Australians to Ask R U OK? Any Day.

According to the data:

94% of people aged 16–24 said they had supported someone at least once in the past month.
57% reported they are more regularly asking others, ‘are you OK?’, compared to a year ago.

Addressing the confidence gap

Despite the generational shift, some people might hesitate to ask the question, because of concerns they might say the wrong thing, embarrass someone, or not know how to help.

For 19-year-old R U OK? Community Ambassador Mahir Manut, a teacher’s simple check-in proved life-changing for him.

He now encourages others to take that same step.

"To anyone worried about asking R U OK?, I'd say 'what's the worst that could happen?’. By asking, you open the door to a conversation that could be life changing.

"A conversation definitely can change a life,” said Mahir. “It changed mine."

The research supports his experience with an overwhelming majority of people feeling grateful and supported when someone asked if they were OK.

A teacher's check-in was life-changing for R U OK? Community Ambassador Mahir

Small moments make a big difference

Seventeen years since the first R U OK?Day, the movement continues to inspire and empower everyone to meaningfully connect with those in their world and lend support when they are struggling with life.

“When someone is navigating a difficult time, it’s the small moments of care from the people they trust that stay with them,” said R U OK? CEO Katherine Newton.

“It’s the hand on their shoulder, it’s the message from a friend that says, ‘I know it’s been a rough week, but I’m here’,” said Katherine. “Words that acknowledge how they’re feeling and remind them they’re not alone.

" “This is how change happens - one conversation at a time, one generation at a time."

Resources for schools, workplaces and communities are available here including guidance on the four steps of an R U OK? conversation: Ask, Listen, Encourage Action and Check In (ALEC).

Ask R U OK? Any day - because a conversation could change a life.

R U OK? has resources, including the Guide to Supporting R U OK?, a conversation guide, videos, posters, social media tiles and more to help people start more

life-changing conversations in their workplace, school and community.

SIGN UP FOR FREE RESOURCES HERE

Turning loss into awareness, step by step

Wed, 10 Sep 2025 01:13:21 GMT

Heath, known to his family as carefree and genuine, kept his struggles hidden. His death by suicide shocked those closest to him. His sister Briana has honoured his memory through the Ks for R U OK?, encouraging connection and conversation along the way.

Aboriginal-Led Organisations Honoured for Suicide Prevention Work

Mon, 18 Aug 2025 23:32:44 GMT

Waterlily Healing Indigenous Corporation and Perfectly Imperfect Consulting, based on Larrakia Country in Darwin, NT, have received the ‘Community’ Award at the 2025 Barbara Hocking Memorial Awards.

Hosted by suicide prevention organisation R U OK?, the awards recognise efforts to create a world where we are all connected and protected from suicide across four categories: Workplace, Education, Community and Conversation Leader. 

The judging panel recognised Karyn Anne Moyle and her team for their outstanding contribution to suicide prevention, particularly through culturally safe, trauma-informed programs that empower Aboriginal communities to speak openly about mental health, grief, and suicide.

Together, the two organisations deliver initiatives such as Painting Suicide, Grief and Loss Healing Circles, Deadly Thinking Youth, and Aboriginal Mental Health First Aid. These programs use storytelling, yarning, art, and sensory-based learning to create safe spaces for honest dialogue across urban centres, remote communities, prisons, youth detention centres, and schools.

Aunties Place, a youth-focused healing space in Palmerston, offers nourishing meals, peer support, and a culturally grounded environment where young people feel safe, seen, and supported. It has become a trusted refuge for those experiencing emotional distress, grief, or suicidal thoughts.

In announcing the award, Brenden Maher, R U OK? Board Member and member of the judging panel, highlighted the value of their efforts.

“Waterlily Healing and Perfectly Imperfect are creating spaces where asking ‘are you OK?’ is not just possible, it’s a regular part of any day," he said.

By weaving cultural knowledge, lived experience and trauma-informed care into every conversation, they’re helping communities feel safe to speak up, connect, and heal together.”

Victorian School Recognised for Wellbeing Initiatives

Mon, 18 Aug 2025 23:30:38 GMT

St John’s Primary School in Mitcham, VIC, has received the ‘Education’ Award at the 2025 Barbara Hocking Memorial Awards.

The awards recognise efforts to create a world where we are all connected and protected from suicide across four categories: Workplace, Education, Community and Conversation Leader. 

The judging panel recognised the St John’s team for their outstanding contribution to suicide prevention, particularly through their transformative whole-school approach to wellbeing and mental health education.

At St John’s, student wellbeing is central to school culture. The R U OK? message is embedded in daily practice - from classroom lessons and assemblies to peer-led initiatives and staff modelling. Students learn to recognise emotions, check in with others, and lead with kindness. Staff use consistent language and tools across classrooms, supported by weekly Circle Time and visual emotion regulation strategies.

These initiatives build emotional literacy, mindfulness, and peer support, helping students feel safe, seen, and supported. In a 2024 survey, 85% of students reported feeling safe and supported at school, with families noting more open communication and use of wellbeing strategies at home.

In announcing St John’s as the award recipient, Kathleen Tan, R U OK? Head of Programs, highlighted the value of their efforts.

"St John’s Primary School is a shining example of how mental health can be woven through every part of a child’s learning journey," she said.

"Their commitment to connection, inclusion and early intervention creates a school culture where asking ‘are you OK?’ is part of any day."

Gold Coast Local Pedals His Way to Suicide Prevention Award

Mon, 18 Aug 2025 23:29:55 GMT

Gold Coast local Matt Hockings has received the ‘Conversation Leader’ Award at the 2025 Barbara Hocking Memorial Awards.

The awards recognise efforts to create a world where we are all connected and protected from suicide across four categories: Workplace, Education, Community and Conversation Leader.

The judging panel recognised Mr Hockings for his outstanding contribution to suicide prevention, particularly through his grassroots cycling campaigns, personal outreach, and unwavering commitment to the R U OK? message.

Over the past four years, Mr Hockings has cycled thousands of kilometres across Queensland, New South Wales and Victoria. He has raised over $30,000 for R U OK?, handed out more than 4,000 yellow wristbands, and sparked countless conversations in regional communities. His rides have taken him through towns such as Boonah, Ballina, Coffs Harbour, Newcastle and Paynesville, where locals have welcomed him with community barbecues, school cheers, and heartfelt stories.

Mr Hockings’ journey began with a simple gesture: handing out R U OK? wristbands. That act of connection grew into annual cycling challenges, including his most recent 2,000km ride from the Gold Coast to Melbourne. Along the way, he has stopped at workplaces and schools, sharing the R U OK? message and encouraging people to check in with one another year round.

In announcing the award, James Maskey, a previous Barbara Hocking Memorial Award recipient and member of this year’s judging panel, spoke to the significance of Matt’s efforts.

"Matt Hockings lives the R U OK? message every day. His rides are more than physical challenges, they are journeys of connection, compassion, and courage," he said.

"Through every wristband handed out and every conversation started, Matt reminds us that asking, ‘are you OK?’ is a conversation for any day, and that regular meaningful conversation really can, and do, change lives."

Workplace honoured for building an R U OK? Culture

Mon, 18 Aug 2025 23:27:41 GMT

The ANZ Mental Health Network has received the ‘Workplace’ Award at the 2025 Barbara Hocking Memorial Awards.

Hosted by suicide prevention organisation R U OK?, the awards recognise efforts to create a world where we are all connected and protected from suicide across four categories; Workplace, Education, Community and Conversation Leader. 

The judging panel recognised ANZ Mental Health Network for their outstanding contribution to suicide prevention, along with its transformative, inclusive approach to workplace mental health.

The ANZ Mental Health Network, chaired by Sarah Soncini, is an employee-led initiative with over 2,900 members globally. It has embedded the R U OK? message into ANZ’s daily culture, empowering staff at all levels to lead meaningful conversations and foster psychological safety.

What began with a single act of vulnerability in 2018 has grown into a global movement of connection, supported by storytelling events, advocacy talks, and cross-team collaboration.

In announcing ANZ Mental Health Network as the award recipient, Amy Cranney, National Training Manager at Connor Menswear, and member of the judging panel, highlighted the value of their efforts.

"The ANZ Mental Health Network shows how a single story can spark a movement," said Ms Cranney.

"Their commitment to connection, inclusion and lived experience has created a genuine R U OK? culture, ensuring ‘are you OK?’ is not just a question, but a cultural norm used any day across the organisation."

School Shout Outs

Thu, 14 Aug 2025 03:26:19 GMT

Stuck for ideas on how to bring the R U OK? message to life in your school community? Need some yellow-themed inspiration? Check out the activities and events that schools from across Australia have implemented to encourage meaningful connection with their students and staff.

For more tips and free resources to use in classrooms, visit our Education page .

Brisbane Water Secondary College - Umina

We’re constantly inspired by the incredible ways school communities share our message, not just on R U OK?Day, but any day.

In September 2025, Brisbane Water Secondary College Umina Campus was awash with yellow as students and staff came together to raise awareness.

The school hosted a free BBQ, embraced a 'splash of yellow' theme, and created a vibrant, student-designed mural, showing the positive impact of wellbeing initiatives.

Create your own mural with our Mural Builder.

Brigidine College - Indooroopilly

The day began with a morning walk before school, followed by first break activities.

These included an inflatable obstacle course, pledging with thumbprints on the school’s

‘Ask R U OK? Any Day’ canvas, and students sharing yellow cups of drink with handwritten affirmations on them.

Frederick Irwin Anglican School - Mandurah

Teachers were encouraged to use R U OK? lesson plans in the lead up to and on R U OK?Day.

Staff and Students were encouraged to wear yellow on R U OK? Day. The school canteen sold a selection of ‘yellow’ food across the week.

A very successful student-led lunchtime music concert was held at the secondary campus.

Social media was used to share the R U OK? messages, across the school Facebook and Instagram accounts. The school held a staff belonging event, as well as a fun Staff Quiz night.

The school’s Wellbeing Dog, Pocket, wore his special coat to help further spread the R U OK? message.

Warrnambool College

The College held an assembly where staff and students heard from year 12 student leaders Nyasha Iervasi and Zoe Borthwick, principal David Clift and ‘Ks for R U OK?’ Ambassador, Warrnambool’s Nathan McKane.

College captain Zoe Borthwick said R U OK? was a simple question that could “truly save a life” and encouraged kindness always.

“You never know what someone is going through behind closed doors, so I encourage you to remember how valuable and necessary kindness is, not only when we know someone who is struggling, but all the time,” Zoe said.

Cranbourne South Primary School (CSPS)

Staff at Cranbourne South Primary School challenged themselves to complete a 100km

walk-a-thon.

The staff wanted to walk to lead by example and demonstrate the connection between physical exercise and mental health.

The students also took part in a variety of classroom lessons from the R U OK? website.

St John's Primary School, Mitcham

The R U OK? Primary Education resources are displayed year-round at St John's Primary School, Mitcham.

These include the 4-step ALEC conversation model, #FriendBetter posters, and ‘You’ve got what it takes to ask R U OK?’ poster.

Coonabarabran Public School

The students at Coonabarabran Public School use the R U OK? Tote bags as their school library bags.

It’s a great way to embed the R U OK? Any Day message in the school community.

Brookside College

Local artist Tim Sta Ana designed and painted an R U OK? themed wall mural for Brookside College to mark R U OK?Day. Students contributed words of encouragement to add to the design. The mural features messages like, "be strong", "be caring", "keep calm" and "get moving". It now serves as a constant reminder for the students, staff and school community to continue asking, ‘are you OK?’, all year round.

In line with this project, students created their own pieces of artwork that express messages of seeking help, words of encouragement, and positive affirmations.

The wellbeing team led sessions that allowed students to role-play scenarios where they might notice signs someone could be struggling, and how to have a conversation with that person. Students also took part in daily wellbeing activities that addressed the four steps of an R U OK? Conversation (Ask, Listen, Encourage Action, Check In), as well as resilience building.

A range of R U OK? giveaways were provided to students, including bandanas, stickers, wristbands, erasers and fidget toys. There was also a photo booth, with R U OK?-themed printed film. At recess, Indigenous musical artist, Brett Lee, performed for the students.

Milton Public

To mark R U OK?Day, students were encouraged to wear yellow and orange to school, which became a talking point in classrooms. Teachers conducted lessons based on lesson plans downloaded from the R U OK? Education websit e . Students also watched films exploring human emotions to help spark conversations about helping friends.

The school ran a free yoga class for staff in the morning and provided a free coffee van. Staff also had extra release time away from their classes so they could do their own work or meet colleagues for a cuppa and chat.

To encourage meaningful conversations, staff shared photos on the staff notice board of themselves partaking in wellbeing activities, such as going to the gym, enjoying dinner, horse riding, or surfing.

Tom Price Senior High School

The school used resources from the R U OK? Website for Secondary Schools , which encouraged students to check in and start conversations. The Student Services team prepared packs for teachers to use the day before R U OK?Day to help start meaningful conversations.

The morning of R U OK?Day was marked with themed activities including, a breakfast featuring yellow pancakes, R U OK? face painting, and merchandise giveaways. During this time, staff and students spoke about the importance of connection and supporting others. At lunchtime students were given a yellow iced cupcake with the R U OK? logo on top, supplied from R U OK? website.

Central Coast Grammar School

R U OK? activities and lessons were delivered, targeted to specific year groups. Messages about conversation and connection were shared on the school’s digital platform aimed at K to 6 and Years 7 to 12, with the content viewed nearly 3,000 times by students, staff and families.

R U OK? -themed signs and posters were displayed during the week on digital screens and monitors throughout the school.

The school also used social media to communicate key messages and involve students in the discussion. The ‘It doesn’t matter how you ask. Just ASK’ Instagram reel featured students saying, ‘Are you OK?’ in different languages - helping to show the community that it doesn’t matter how you ask the question, you just need to ask it.

A group of Year 9 students created another Instagram video outlining the four steps to an R U OK? Conversation (Ask, Listen, Encourage Action, Check In) in a short skit.

Emmaville Central School

Secondary students learned about R U OK?’s model for supporting others – ALEC, with a new step introduced each day during Multisensory Structured Language (MSL) lessons.

Ahead of R U OK?Day all students had the opportunity to enjoy a brownie and a hot chocolate, over conversation with a friend, which was a great opportunity to put their conversational skills to use.

The following week, all students participated in an out-of-uniform day, where they were invited to come dressed in yellow or bright colours and enjoyed a hot dog and popper, thanks to the school’s P&C.

The life-changing power of connection

Sun, 27 Jul 2025 21:46:15 GMT

Lisa, a correctional officer and R U OK? Community Ambassador opens up on the life-changing impact of checking in with your workmates and asking, 'are you OK?'.

New research highlights importance of meaningful conversations

Thu, 24 Jul 2025 02:26:03 GMT

If you need tips to build your confidence to ask R U OK?, we’re here to help with plenty of free resources to help you check in with someone you care about.

Click here to access our FREE Ask R U OK? Any Day resources, including posters, conversation guides, social media assets and videos.

Thursday 11 September is R U OK?Day but we know that whether it’s a friend, family member, partner, or colleague , the people around us go through life’s ups and downs every day. That’s why we want everyone to feel confident to check in with the people they care about and Ask R U OK? Any Day .

Our research found that those who are regularly asked, 'are you OK?' report increased feelings of wellbeing, and we've learned that a third of Australians say they've been asking others more often over the past year . That means many of us are already showing up for others in meaningful ways, but when it comes to conversations about how we’re really going, some people are less confident than others.

“R U OK?Day, our National Day of Action, is a powerful reminder, but it’s what we do regularly that truly makes a difference,” said Katherine Newton, CEO R U OK?.

“We want Australians to feel confident to check in with the people they care about – not only on R U OK?Day, but any day."

It’s natural to feel a little hesitant, but the good news is nine in ten Australians report feeling grateful, supported and cared for when someone genuinely asks them if they're OK - and that’s a good reason to give it a go. You might even be having these conversations already without realising.

If you need tips to build your confidence, we’re here to help with plenty of free resources to help you feel more confident to check in with someone you care about. You’ve got this, and we’ve got your back.

Ask R U OK? Any Day of the year because a conversation could change a life.

Grief looks different for everyone, but no one should do it alone

Mon, 14 Jul 2025 23:09:59 GMT

R U OK? Community Ambassadors Tracey and Carli navigated unique journeys through grief but had one thing in common; the comfort felt by those who checked in.

Living with Loss: Lach’s Story of Hope and Connection

Mon, 14 Jul 2025 23:09:37 GMT

Lach's world was turned upside down when his wife died. He shares his story of grief and how the support of friends and family helped him find strength, connection and hope for the future.

Supporting emergency service workers and their families

Fri, 06 Jun 2025 02:04:31 GMT

Latisha shares insights from 14 years in the police force, and offers tips on how to better support first responders in their demanding roles.

Looking out for your mates this Men's Health Week

Wed, 04 Jun 2025 05:25:28 GMT

Men’s Health Week (June 9-15) is a time to pause and reflect on the health challenges facing the men in our lives.

Male life expectancy is, on average, four years shorter and they are more likely to suffer from lifestyle-related health conditions than women of the same age. Sadly, men also have a four times higher risk of dying by suicide*.

On top of this, research has revealed that two thirds of men who are struggling or in crisis, don’t feel confident and empowered enough to ask for help^. That’s why this Men’s Health Week we are encouraging everyone to look out for the signs that a man in their life - a husband, partner, father, brother, colleague, teammate or gym buddy – is struggling, and to reach out and ask "Are you OK?".

Some of the signs to look out for include:

Are they becoming withdrawn?
Have they experienced big changes in their personal or professional life?
Are they confused, irrational or moody?
Have they lost interest in what they used to love?
Are they experiencing health issues?

If you are concerned about someone, trust your gut and ask “Are you OK?”. Listen with an open mind to what they have to say and ask them what you can do to help.

For more detailed information about the signs someone might be struggling and how to have an R U OK? conversation visit our How to Ask page .

If a conversation is too big for you or you need additional support, visit our Find Help page .

In the words of R U OK? founder Gavin Larkin, “Getting connected and staying connected is the best thing any of us can do both for ourselves and anybody who may be at risk. That said, it’s not just about those at risk, we want everybody in Australia right across the spectrum of society to reach out to the people in their lives that they care about and essentially let them know that they do care by asking R U OK?”

If you're worried about a man in your life this Men’s Health Week or any week, we urge you to stay connected and ask, “Are you OK?”.

(* source: ABS, Ten to Men: The Australian Longitudinal Study on Male Health, Men’s Health Week)

(^source: BeyondBlue)

The powerful role volunteers play in connecting communities

Mon, 19 May 2025 00:37:46 GMT

To mark National Volunteer Week, R U OK? Community Ambassadors share how they foster connection in their communities and the difference volunteering makes.

Mental health just as important as physical health in workplaces

Wed, 30 Apr 2025 00:18:04 GMT

A conversation with Queensland Rail on the importance of checking in and building an R U OK? Culture year-round.

The support of three people changed my life forever

Mon, 14 Apr 2025 00:50:29 GMT

After losing my Mum I found strength in those who stood by me. Now I'm passing that message of support on to others, R U OK? Community Ambassador Gillian writes.

Meet the man driving change in the trucking industry

Wed, 26 Mar 2025 03:13:26 GMT

After losing mates to suicide, one man is on a mission to break the silence and encourage more life-changing conversations.

Supporting communities impacted by natural disasters

Sun, 16 Mar 2025 22:15:43 GMT

Recovering from a natural disaster or emergency can be tough for communities, but practical support and open conversations can make a real difference.

Matt's story of support and living with PTSD

Tue, 25 Feb 2025 23:27:38 GMT

Matt recently celebrated 25 years with the NSW Police Force. He shares his experience of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as part of Are They Triple OK?

R U OK? Ambassadors discuss the power of connection and conversation

Fri, 24 Jan 2025 01:53:54 GMT

R U OK? is calling on everyone to Ask R U OK? Any Day because life happens every day.

A lot can happen in a year, a month, a week. Whether it’s your friend, family member, colleague, partner, or teammate, the people you care about go through life’s ups and downs every day.

By checking in regularly with the people close to you, you can help prevent small things from becoming big things.

To help spread the message, R U OK? ambassadors have sat down with people in their life, and shared their stories and the importance of asking R U OK? Any Day.

Watch the video below.

Going the distance for Jade: Meet the Sunflower Sisters

Fri, 17 Jan 2025 03:07:40 GMT

After losing their friend Jade, a group of friends formed the Sunflower Sisters to honour her memory. Running the City2Surf, they raised awareness about mental health and the power of checking in.

10 ideas to build an R U OK? Culture at your school

Thu, 16 Jan 2025 02:07:15 GMT

Don’t wait for R U OK?Day to bring the message to your classroom. Use these ten ideas to build an R U OK? Culture in your school community.

'I was excited to be a mum, but I wasn’t prepared for the emotional toll'

Thu, 21 Nov 2024 01:12:02 GMT

Ashleigh shares her experience of perinatal anxiety and depression and how the support of her husband helped in her recovery.

2024 with R U OK?

Wed, 20 Nov 2024 03:17:24 GMT

Each year we hear from people about the impact that meaningful R U OK? conversations have on their lives. 2024 was no different.

Hailing from Tassie to the Top End, we've heard endless stories of people asking, 'Are you OK?', listening and supporting each other through life's ups and downs.

Our call to Ask R U OK? Any Day seeks to inspire regular conversations and year-round connections. Thank you to all who have championed this message in your workplaces, schools and communities.

The '2024 with R U OK?' video highlights some of this wonderful work being done across the country by our passionate community of supporters.

Holiday office closure

The R U OK? office will close for the holiday break from Friday 20 December through to Tuesday 7 January.

If you are experiencing difficult emotions during the Christmas/New Year period, please consider calling Lifeline on 13 11 14 for a confidential listening ear, any time of the day or night. If you are concerned for your own safety or that of others, please call Triple Zero (000) .

You can also find information about support services on the R U OK? website here . We also encourage those who are well and able to find time over the holiday period to Give the Gift of Conversation to those in their world who might be struggling. You can find tips and resources to help you support someone here .

How to support new and expecting parents

Tue, 19 Nov 2024 02:58:52 GMT

Becoming a parent is a huge change. We chatted with the CEO of PANDA about the transition to parenthood, the pressures many new and expecting parents face and how we can support them.

Be a mate that checks in: In conversation with three young apprentices

Mon, 04 Nov 2024 00:05:38 GMT

Former trainees and apprentices Thomas, Tyler and Megan share their stories and how the support of their mates changed their lives during their training.

Connections and conversations as Convoy rolls in to Tassie

Mon, 14 Oct 2024 04:36:39 GMT

The current Tourism Tasmania campaign of ‘Come down for air’ set the scene for an important three weeks of conversations and connection as the R U OK? Conversation Convoy rolled off the Spirit of Tasmania and into Devonport for a 20-day trip around the island.

Linking up with local service providers, charities, and grassroots mental health and wellbeing initiatives, the Tassie leg of our Spring Convoy connected with community groups, councils, schools, TAFEs and more.

From Smithton in the Northwest to St Marys and St Helens in the Northeast near the Bay of Fires, and then down to Hobart before doubling back to Launceston, Burnie, Ulverstone and Devonport, more than 25 formal events were held throughout Tasmania, and many more drop ins, aimed at connecting with locals and encouraging R U OK? conversations.

Starting with a Locals Know Best workshop at the Circular Head Aboriginal Corporation in Smithton our opening events saw more than 200 people attend, including wind farm engineers, artists, the crew from the local Men’s Shed, school groups, council members, Mayors past and present, local Aboriginal Elders, social workers and even a celebrity butcher of Master Chef fame – Josh ‘Pezza’ Perry - got in on the act providing sausages for the BBQ.

R U OK? Community Director Lach Searle said while it may have been a wet and windy start to the Tassie tour, the welcome from the locals couldn’t have been warmer.

"Less 10 days ago the people of Smithton and the wider Circular Head area were dealing with damaging storms of 80km winds, blocked roads due to fallen trees, hundreds of calls to the State Emergency Services and some residents still hadn’t had power reconnected to their homes. For R U OK? to receive such a warm welcome was a great way to start our Tassie leg of this Conversation Convoy and to connect with people in their hometown is always a special privilege, especially when you start to hear how much suicide impacts the community at large," said Lach.

"At St Marys District School we were invited to speak to all students from Year 7 to Year 10, breaking them into small groups for in-depth conversations about what it means to have an R U OK? culture at school, before then meeting parents and teachers at a School Open Farm Day, where the ‘Taste of Tassie was definitely on display in their paddock to plate set up."

"To hear of how so many students are benefiting from the practical learning of the farm skills and hospitality courses on offer, shows just how hard the school community is working to engage and encourage students in the Northeast of the state."

Students at St Marys District School had conversations about what it means to have an R U OK? culture at school

In Hobart the Convoy started with a presentation by R U OK? CEO Katherine Newton at TasTAFE for more than 150 trade and nursing students, supported by our partners Spirit Super and the ‘Be a Mate!’ campaign, before setting up the full activation at the world-famous Salamanca Markets on the Saturday.

Spending time with workers at the Bega Site Factory in the Lenah Valley was also a highlight, with Katherine joined by Maryanne Larkin for a Q&A, as well as a Workplace Champions Breakfast for more than 60, followed by Assembly Talks and Workshops at Sacred Heart College in Newtown for Year 7 to Year 10.

“From chatting with teachers and students at TAFE Tasmania, to meeting locals and tourists at Salamanca Markets, it’s been lovely connecting with people her in Tassie, and very special to have Maryanne join us as well for this part of the Convoy,” said Katherine.

“To see the level of engagement and connection from workplaces in particular, is just another strong indicator that an R U OK? culture is becoming more and more common across the country. And that only happens thanks to the leadership and support from people like Matthew Richman (Tasmanian Emergency Services), Alice Morris (WorkSafe Tasmania) and David Roberts (Spirit Super) who were guests on our Workplace Champions Breakfast panel.”

Council workers in Ulverstone, Tasmania, joined for R U OK? for a BBQ breakfast

From Hobart the Convoy headed north to Launceston to link up with the team from Stay Chatty for a session at Prospect High School and then an event in Ulverstone with the crew from Mr Perfect and Men Care Too Northwest Mates Community BBQ Lunch.

Linking up with R U OK? Community Ambassador Greg and the team from ‘Men Care Too’ was a great way to start our last Sunday in Tassie with what’s believed to be an R U OK? first with the local bakery creating a ‘Conversation Pie’ … with yellow filling.

Public BBQs organised by the Welcome Cultural Services in Devonport, and Central Coast Council rounded out a hugely successful Tasmanian Conversation Convoy.

From spring lambs to ‘Conversation Pies’ a huge thanks to our volunteer R U OK? Community Ambassadors, Chris, Greg and Mitch for their ongoing support and help in encouraging R U OK? conversations in their communities, and a special thanks also to Maryanne Larkin and all the crew and staff for the conversations and connections made in Tasmania this year.

See where the Conversation Convoy is headed next here .

Cherbourg community stands Stronger Together for suicide prevention

Mon, 02 Sep 2024 05:42:55 GMT

The town of Cherbourg has been grappling with high rates of suicide. In response, the community has banded together to look out for each other. This is their story.

'It's time we started talking about financial stress'

Sat, 31 Aug 2024 23:30:50 GMT

At 17, Ming found herself homeless. Now a small business owner, she opens up about the impact of financial stress and how the support of others has helped her.

'I wouldn't be here if I didn't get well'

Wed, 28 Aug 2024 00:51:49 GMT

As a young person, Nic's mental illness came out of nowhere. Now an R U OK? Ambassador, he shares the story of his life, and how he wouldn't be where he is if he didn't get well.

Step up and check in this STEPtember

Mon, 26 Aug 2024 05:00:37 GMT

Ahead of STEPtember, we chatted to Sophie, a trailblazer and champion for people with cerebral palsy. She opened up about her challenges and how support can make a real difference.

How to look out for your mates during Mardi Gras and beyond

Tue, 20 Aug 2024 04:37:09 GMT

For many, LGBTIQ+ community events such as Mardi Gras can be a time of great joy and celebration. But they can also present some challenges for them. Here's how you can support those you care about.

“It’s the one time of the year that LGBTQIA+ communities come together and celebrate. You get to see all of that diversity in one place and all of the support from the wider community. I think that’s powerful,” said Craig Mack, an R U OK? Community Ambassador.

“I remember my first Mardi Gras,” R U OK? Community Ambassador Genevieve Blackman recalled. “I’d only come out a year before and was still really uncomfortable telling people what my sexual identity was.”

“As I was standing up in the crowd and watching the rest of the parade, I remember feeling this overwhelming sense of connectivity. I felt like ‘these are my people’ and I felt all of the love in the atmosphere.

“Mardi Gras helped me learn that my identity is something that I don’t need to be afraid of. I’m really proud of it.”

Amongst the many positives, LGBTIQ+ community events can be challenging for some.

“Pride events can be really fun, but they can also be really tough . There can be a multitude of reasons why you might not enjoy the festival” said Genevieve.

Those reasons might include feeling exhausted or overwhelmed by busy event schedules, or feeling pressure from social circles to attend. “It’s really easy to get caught up in the excitement,” said Craig, “but you can experience a bit of a festival come -down afterwards.”

Craig says diversity of circumstance can also play a role. “As much as we talk about these events being inclusive, there are so many reasons why people can feel excluded,” he continued.

“Whether it's being able to afford the costs of the events, or body image and the pressures to ‘look good’, or accessibility issues… it can be mentally exhausting.”

The events can also come with a level of identity discomfort for some, explained Genevieve. “Sometimes you might feel imposter syndrome. There can be a challenge of trying really hard to find your subgroup and not quite seeing it at these events”.

“Or there can also be a pressure to define what your labels are… there are many people that don’t like labels or don’t quite know what their label is,” she added.

The events can even bring up some tough emotions and can be a reminder of past and present struggles.

“It can also be a reminder of the old days of not being comfortable with who I am,” said Genevieve.

“For those whose families aren’t fully accepting of who they are, it can bring up feelings of loss and grief,” agreed Craig.

This Conversation Guide contains tips to help you know when and how to ask someone who is gender, bodily or sexuality diverse, 'are you OK?', in a safe and supportive way.

There’s also the fact that not every event is suited to every member from LGBTIQ+ communities. “You’re going to find people that love the party scene and people that don’t like it at all. And that’s OK. You can still be really proud but not want to be involved in these events," said Craig.

For those who are struggling, check-in conversations and peer-to-peer support can make a positive difference.

“If you notice that a friend is disengaged in conversation, if they're not writing back to your text messages and they're normally pretty good at that, or if they're declining invitations, just checking in and seeing if there’s something going on or something they want to talk about is a good idea,” Genevieve said.

“It’s just about watching out for what state your friends are in. It comes down to what their normal behaviours are and noticing if there’s a change,” Craig said.

“That’s when you know it’s a good idea to thoughtfully pull them aside for a conversation.

“Just start with simple questions like, ‘What's going on?’, ‘What's on your mind?’, ‘I’ve noticed you’re stressed’. It’s just about giving people a safe space to open up,” he said.

The 4 steps of an R U OK? conversation

Ask: the question in any way that feels genuine for you.
Listen: with an open mind and encourage them to elaborate.
Encourage action: whether it’s something you can do in the moment or accessing further professional support.
Check in: at a later time to see how they’re tracking.

Both Craig and Genevieve say that looking out for one another and checking in isn’t something you need to have life experience to do.

“If you’re not a part of LGBTIQ+ communities, but you're an ally, and you want to reach out to someone and you’re not quite sure what to say, you can just take that aspect out of the conversation and just check in with them like you would a friend in any normal circumstance,” said Genevieve.

Craig agreed, “It doesn't matter. What matters is being there as a friend for that person. It’s not about giving them all the answers. It's about making them feel supported.”

“If you feel as though you can’t support them, or that it’s beyond your knowledge, just remember that there are a bunch of places that can.”

It’s important to remember that asking R U OK? doesn’t always have to be a conversation when someone is visibly struggling. Genevieve recommends getting into good habits and staying connected throughout the year.

“I’ve been texting my friends and checking in more regularly and see if they’re OK or see if they're up for the events. And then I'm not afraid to send a follow up message if I don't get a reply in a couple of days,” she said.

“I always think that it's better to over-communicate than under-communicate, because the most important thing is that they know that you care. So they'll receive the text message, and they'll know ‘that person cares about me, I'm not alone’.”

Finding Help

Lifeline - 13 11 14

24/7

Call for a listening ear or crisis support. Text support is also available: 0477 13 11 14.

QLife - 1800 184 527

3pm - midnight local time every day.

Phone and online anonymous and free LGBTI support and referral for people in Australia wanting to talk about sexuality, identity, gender, bodies, feelings or relationships.

How to access a mental health care plan and see a psychologist

If you are concerned for your safety or the safety of others, seek immediate assistance by calling Triple Zero (000) .

Alice Springs footy clubs come together to tackle suicide

Thu, 08 Aug 2024 06:47:57 GMT

Following a number of deaths by young people in Alice Springs and surrounding areas, five clubs came together to tackle something much bigger than footy. Suicide.

Gavin Larkin’s golf legacy: A reminder to check in with mates

Thu, 01 Aug 2024 22:30:12 GMT

Ask anyone who played a round of golf with Gavin Larkin, and they’ll tell you the same thing. He'd always use the time to check in with his mates and see how they were going.

How to support someone experiencing financial pressures

Tue, 30 Jul 2024 23:31:59 GMT

Most of us will experience financial pressure at some point in our lives. These are some of the signs someone might be struggling and how you can support them.

Young people share how they check in with their mates

Tue, 16 Jul 2024 05:49:32 GMT

Young people across Australia have shared with us all the wonderful ways they check in with each other and create space for meaningful conversations.

Ask R U OK? Any Day

Wed, 10 Jul 2024 02:08:58 GMT

R U OK? is calling on everyone to Ask R U OK? Any Day because life happens every day.

The reminder comes as 72% of Australians are reporting elevated levels of distress 1 . However, R U OK? research has found an overwhelming majority (90%) of people who are regularly asked R U OK? feel more supported, connected and cared about (2) .

"There is an increase in supporting behaviours around R U OK?Day, our National Day of Action,” said Katherine Newton, CEO R U OK?

"However, we don’t want people waiting until September to reach out to the people in their world who might be struggling because life happens every day."

More than half of Australians experience a stressful time at least once a year 3 , and nearly two in five Australians report high or very high levels of distress 4 .

R U OK? has resources, including the Guide to Supporting R U OK?, a conversation guide, videos, posters, social media tiles and more to help people start more

life-changing conversations in their workplace, school and community.

“A lot can happen in a year, a month, a week,” said Ms Newton.

“Whether it’s your friend, family member, colleague, partner, or teammate, the people you care about go through life’s ups and downs every day.

By checking in regularly with the people close to you, you can help prevent small things from becoming big things."

Ask R U OK? Any Day because life happens every day.

1 YouGov (2024) Suicide Prevention Australia Community Tracker - June 2024. Australia.

2 Verian (2024) R U OK? Tracker. Australia.

3 Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (2020) Prevalence and impact of mental illness . Australia

4 Australian Bureau of Statistics (2020-2022) National Study of Mental Health and Wellbeing and National Health Survey . Australia

R U OK? Student Art Competition Winners Announced

Mon, 01 Jul 2024 05:44:32 GMT

Students from across Australia got creative, showing what an R U OK? conversation means to them. See the artworks and list of winners here.

How to look out for your colleagues these holidays

Mon, 01 Jul 2024 04:46:12 GMT

For a lot of people, the end of year can be a stressful and difficult time. Some are scrambling to meet deadlines, while others who might be working through the festive season face their busiest period of the year. We chatted with R U OK? Ambassador, Rachel Clements, the Director of Psychological Services at Centre for Corporate Health, who shared her thoughts on how to best support colleagues during the holiday season.

What are some of the challenges people in workplaces face at this time of year?

Usually at this time of year we are seeing high levels of exhaustion and depletion. Now that we are getting to the pointy end of the year, there’s a mad rush to get everything done at work, personal demands are heightened and financial stress increases.

Some people still can’t travel to connect with friends and loved ones, while for others, this time of year brings reminders of grief or loss. Remembering someone that may have passed at this time of the year or having the first Christmas without someone dear can mean this is a time of great sadness. Some people will feel isolated and lonely over the festive period, and for others, family pressures and tensions can bubble to the surface.

Who in particular should we be looking out for?

We should all be challenging ourselves to have a level of awareness about which of our colleagues may be doing it tough. Is there someone who has family that they haven’t been able to see for some time? Do I know someone who has experienced a natural disaster this year? Is one of my colleagues experiencing grief or loss? Do I know someone who’s lost their job or is going through financial hardship?

Instead of relying on other people to stay connected this Christmas, we urge you to take a different approach. Think about who you haven’t heard from in a while or who might be doing it tough, and make an effort to connect with them.

How can we best support someone at work who might be finding things tough?

The easiest thing you can do is stay close and check-in. Ask someone what their plans are for the holidays. If they indicate they will be spending long periods of time alone, suggest catching up with them, in person, online or over the phone. If you’re worried about them, encourage them to speak with a support service or their doctor. If your organisation has an Employee Assistance Program, that could be a great place for them to start.

You can also encourage people to develop a wellbeing plan that includes activities they enjoy. We often see people stop work and do nothing because they’ve lost that weekly routine. They then come back to work feeling even worse. Wellbeing activities might include exercise, connecting with friends, eating well and limiting alcohol intake or ensuring they’re getting adequate sleep.

How can we check in with colleagues without feeling we are prying?

If you are genuine and check-in with the right intention, a person can feel incredibly supported, knowing someone cares about them and has their back. As we know from the R U OK? research, people who talk about what’s troubling them often feel more supported, connected and better about themselves and their situation.

You don’t have to put pressure on yourself to solve someone’s problem, and it might not be your place to invite them over to Christmas dinner. But what you can do is be the bridge to connect someone to the next steps. That might be professional support, or perhaps there’s another workmate you can tap on the shoulder and say, “Hey, I’m really worried about this person, can you have a chat with them?”.

What can employers and business leaders do to ensure they are looking after their staff at this time of year?

I’d say really get to know your team and think about who might need some extra support. Encourage people to plan for their holidays and stay connected with others to stop little problems from becoming big ones. Employers can also consider the urgent priorities for staff and what can wait until next year because we want our teams to finish the year with their wellbeing intact and not running on empty. Other ideas might be to give staff small recovery breaks during the day or organise social events to finish the year on a positive note.

How can we support friends, family and colleagues that are working through Christmas?

People working at this time of year are often really overloaded. They’ve got their job, Christmas shopping and a full social calendar. It’s important we encourage them to make time for themselves to recharge their batteries. Give them the opportunity to say no to some social events and encourage them to keep up their wellbeing activities – it may be connecting with a friend, exercising, going to the beach or ensuring they are getting enough sleep. The holiday period is a marathon, but people tend to treat it like a sprint. So, when you check-in with someone, remind them to press pause if they need to.

Five ways to support someone over the holiday period.

Be aware of the people around you and check in with someone who might be finding things tough – are they unable to visit their family, experiencing grief or under strain financially?
Encourage people to form a plan for the holidays. Doing things they enjoy and making time for themselves can ensure they return to work refreshed.
Don’t feel guilty about putting your oxygen mask on first. Look after yourself and maintain your wellbeing strategies. When you put your oxygen mask on first, you’ll be in a much better space to support others.
Stay connected and check-in. Whether it’s in-person, online or on the phone, it’s something we can all do.
Be mindful of those who are still working and encourage them to press pause if they need to so they can recharge their batteries.

Canberra hosts the R U OK? Conversation Convoy

Mon, 01 Jul 2024 03:04:22 GMT

With four events in just 48 hours, Canberra was a huge stop on the R U OK? Conversation Convoy. Here's what we got up to and the conversations we shared.

What do blooming tulip bulbs, serving members of the Australian Defence Force, health and welfare statisticians and resilient runners all have in common? The answer…

R U OK?Day 2024 in Canberra, which hosted four Conversation Convoy events in just 48 hours.

With more than 800 people in attendance across the four events, thousands of free resources distributed, and more than 1,200 sausages cooked and served, countless conversations took place in Canberra on and around R U OK?Day 2024.

Floriade – Australia’s Biggest Celebration of Spring

More than half a million people are expected to visit the Floriade flower festival in Canberra this spring and before the gates opened, and the bulbs were in full bloom, the R U OK? Conversation Convoy stopped off on R U OK?Day eve to check in with the team at Events ACT.

Setting up amongst a sea of flowers as our first stop in the ACT, contractors, event staff and gardeners were able to stop by for a chat and sausage sizzle, while our crew got a sneak peek of the festival they call Australia's Biggest Celebration of Spring.

Executive Branch Manager at Events ACT, Ross Triffitt said the R U OK? Conversation Convoy was a great reminder for the Events Team to stop and check in with colleagues during a busy period.

"Having the R U OK? Conversation Convoy on site at Floriade was a great opportunity for our team to pause and recognise the importance of maintaining our mental health and wellbeing as we head into an intense period of work," Triffitt said.

"We know that the stats around burnout, high stress levels and mental ill-health in events rolls are high, so to have the R U OK? team here to remind us to watch for the signs, and check in with our colleagues, was a great way to highlight R U OK?Day for the team at Events ACT before we opened Floriade to public."

Australian Defence Force

The Conversation Convoy was honoured to start R U OK?Day at the Australian Defence Force in Russell, with a breakfast for over 300 members of the ADF, and staff, as the sun rose over Canberra.

The Defence event at Russell was one of more than 100 held around the country, including presentations, gatherings and base events at RAAF Base Tindal, Larrakeyah Naval Base, Robertson Barracks, RAAF Base Pearce, HMAS Penguin, Puckapunyal, RAAF Base Edinburgh, HMAS Albatross, Kokoda Barracks, East Sale, HMAS Cairns, Gallipoli Barracks, the Royal Military College and the Australian Defence Force Academy.

Supported by service men and women from all three forces, Air Force, Navy and Army, the Russell breakfast for R U OK?Day was also an opportunity to stop and reflect following the release of the Final Report of the Royal Commission into Defence and Veteran Suicide.

Deputy Secretary of Defence People Justine Greig and Head of People and Capability Major General Wade Stothart addressed those in attendance, alongside R U OK? Community Director Lach Searle who highlighted the importance of a culture of looking out for your mates and your colleagues, any day, not just on R U OK?Day.

Minister for Defence Personnel Matt Keogh MP was also amongst those in the crowd speaking to ADF members, as well as helping out with the sausage sizzle, alongside Air Marshal Robert Chipman who was appointed Vice Chief of the Defence Force in July.

Australian Institute of Health and Welfare

The Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (AIHW) takes a lead role in The National Suicide and Self-harm Monitoring System established as part of the national effort to address suicide and self-harm in Australia. The system will improve the quality, accessibility and timeliness of data on deaths by suicide and on self-harming and suicidal behaviours. It aims to provide a better understanding of suicide and self-harm in Australia by:

explaining the nature and extent of suicidal and self-harming behaviours
improving the quality and breadth of data available to help identify trends, emerging areas of concern and to inform responses
highlighting those at increased risk.

The Australian Institute of Health and Welfare CEO, Dr Zoran Bolevich said having the Conversation Convoy on site for R U OK? Day was a special opportunity to acknowledge the important the work of the AIHW, and for staff to check in with their colleagues.

“The R U OK? Conversation Convoy is a fantastic initiative. We were honoured to have the full activation at our main Canberra office for R U OK? Day this year to learn more about what it means to have an R U OK? conversation in the workplace,” said Dr Bolevich.

“Our agency publishes data and information to help our stakeholders – and the broader Australian community – better understand mental ill-health in Australia. To hear the R U OK? team reflect on how they use our data to meaningfully engage with communities across the country and provide support where it is needed the most, reinforces the importance of the ongoing work we undertake.

“At the AIHW, we pride ourselves on having a strong, diverse and accepting workplace culture. What better way to celebrate this culture and the work we do on R U OK? Day than to enjoy a thoughtful presentation, BBQ with colleagues and remind ourselves that a simple ‘are you ok’ question can encourage important conversations and connections.”

The AIHW’s vision is for stronger evidence, better decisions and improved health and welfare so to have the R U OK? Conversation Convoy on site for our biggest day of the year was also a thank you to all of those in the suicide and mental health sector who work towards improved health and welfare for all Australians.

Running for Resilience

Any day can be a day to ask, 'Are you OK?', which is why our Conversation Convoy sprang into action again the morning after R U OK?Day as the sun rose over the Kingston Foreshore in Canberra. Linking up with local charity Running for Resilience , more than 150 runners set off for their morning run, walk and catch up on the shores of Lake Burley Griffin, before returning to an R U OK? breakfast, presentation and many conversations.

Former Wallaby and Running for Resilience advocate Ben Alexander was a key driver in linking up with the R U OK? Conversation Convoy to combine the two organisations looking to foster community connection, and said the turnout was a best-ever result for a Friday morning.

“Every time we get together, we’re showing Canberra how many people believe exercising with friends can help save lives. So to have 150 here for our R U OK? breakfast is a clear sign that the message is getting out there and Canberrans are connecting through R4R,” said Ben.

ACT Young Australian of the Year Nominee for 2022 Matt Breen lost his Dad to suicide in 2010 and his Mum to ovarian cancer in 2021, and established Running for Resilience in 2019, as an exercise campaign to empower people to turn their struggles into positive ones through movement.

“Three years ago on R U OK?Day we officially named the ‘Arc de Resilience’ here in Kingston, and today, to have a record number of people here for a Friday run, and chat afterwards, shows just how far we’ve come,” said Ben.

“We know that everyone faces challenges, and although people may appear composed, many are dealing with hidden struggles. And most importantly, we’re signalling to someone doing it tough that there's a community aware of their pain and hasn’t lost faith in their ability to recover.”

As a grass roots organisation Running for Resilience is going from the strength-to-strength and now also holds Strolling for Resilience on a Thursday morning for new parents to connect and exercise, as well as an R4R program targeted specifically for university students through the University of Canberra.

Supporting a mate who is exploring their sexuality or gender

Mon, 01 Jul 2024 00:02:00 GMT

Exploring sexuality and gender is part of growing up. While it can be exciting, it can also spark feelings of confusion and stress. Here's how you can support someone.

Helpers need help too

Fri, 28 Jun 2024 05:05:04 GMT

Nurses care for patients every day, but that doesn’t make them immune to life’s struggles. Jayne shares her story and the life-changing power of conversations.

R U OK? Arabic resources launched in Western Sydney

Fri, 07 Jun 2024 03:53:52 GMT

R U OK? releases community resources in Arabic to encourage more supportive conversations in languages other than English.

Liverpool City Council Mayor Ned Mannoun (left) and R U OK? CEO Katherine Newton (second from left) helped launched the event

R U OK? has launched a series of community-designed resources in Arabic as part of an ongoing effort to encourage more meaningful conversations in languages other than English.

Working alongside members of the Arabic community from Liverpool in Western Sydney, including staff and parents from Lurnea High School, the launch was an opportunity to celebrate the co-design process and highlight the importance of working with community to develop culturally appropriate resources.

Launched by Liverpool City Council Mayor, Ned Mannoun, and R U OK? Community Ambassador, Nada Miski, the two Arabic videos encourage people to ‘open the gate’ and engage in conversations about mental health and wellbeing.

Access the R U OK? Arabic Community Resources here

R U OK? Community Ambassadors Andre Sakr and Nada Miski

One of the resources is a postcard that features a list of support services

R U OK? is a well-known movement by schools, workplaces and communities across Australia, and data from the Australian Bureau of Statistics reports that 51% of Australian residents have been born overseas or have a parent born overseas (1) .

The additional fact that 22.8% of Australian residents use a language other than English at home (2) only highlights the need to support everyone to build the skills and confidence to have an R U OK? conversation, in any language.

The development of these resources is an extension of a Suicide Prevention Pilot with Mental Health Australia and Suicide Prevention Australia under the Embrace Multicultural Mental Health program. You can learn more about the program and access resources here .

1: Australian Bureau of Statistics (2021) Culturally and linguistically diverse communities

2: Australian Bureau of Statistics (2021) Top 5 most common languages other than English

How to have conversations about family or domestic violence

Wed, 01 May 2024 07:19:56 GMT

For help:

In an emergency, call 000.

1800RESPECT (1800 737 732): National Sexual Assault, Family and Domestic Violence Counselling service for anyone living in Australia who has experienced, or is at risk of experiencing, family and domestic violence and/or sexual assault. Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, by phone and web chat.

Men's Referral Service (1300 766 491): This service from No to Violence offers assistance, information and counselling to help men who use family violence.

Mensline Australia (1300 78 99 78): Supports men and boys who are dealing with family and relationship difficulties.

Practical Guide

This practical guide has been developed in collaboration with 1800RESPECT to help you spot the signs and start a conversation with someone you think might be a victim of family or domestic abuse. By making time to meaningfully reach out and offer support, you could change, or even save, a life.

Spotting the Signs

If someone is being impacted by abuse, you might notice that:

They become more withdrawn and stop going out and spend less time with friends and family.
They’re worried about making their partner angry and make excuses for the partner’s negative behaviour.
They’re focused on timeframes that revolve around the partner. For example, they’re fixated on getting home because their partner is due home soon.
They seem scared or wary around their partner.
They may feel that they are being watched or followed in some way.

For the person using abuse or violence, it’s often subtle things that indicate an unbalanced level of power and control in the relationship. You might notice that:

The abuser may act in ways that make the other person scared.
They get very angry when the other person doesn’t follow their wishes.
Their conversations with their partner will often revolve around control of their partner.
They may use threats or put-downs to intimidate and control their partner.

What should I do?

If you’re concerned about what’s going on in someone else’s relationship, the first step is to call 1800RESPECT. You can talk to a trained counsellor about a strategy to intervene in a way that’s safe for you and other people in their family. They can also talk about strategies to help you get through to the person who’s being abusive in a way that doesn’t make them defensive

Tips for talking to someone who may be using abuse or violence in their relationship

How to talk to someone who is behaving abusively

Every situation is different, and that’s why calling 1800 RESPECT is an important first step.

How you approach the conversation depends on the situation; your relationship with them; the level of safety; and how they might react when they’re challenged.

If you decide it’s safe to talk directly to that person, and they are calm, there are a few things you should consider:

Pick a place away from interruptions and where you won’t be overhead.
Open up the issue in a non-confrontational way that won’t make them defensive, that shows you want to understand their perspective.
Be open and transparent about what you have seen, and let the abuser know you are worried for their partner and children.
Be non-judgemental in your language, and also be clear to the abuser that everyone has responsibility for their own actions
Let them know that it can be better than this (See also NTV.org.au) and that there are help programs available

What can I say if they deny the abuse?

People will often deny using abuse or controlling tactics in their relationship. You might get a response like “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” “That’s wrong”, or “You should see what he/she does”. If they deflect the issue, listen to what they have to say and continue to hold your healthy boundaries on what is safe and appropriate behaviour in any relationship. Reinforce your impartiality by saying something like: “That’s not what I’m observing. What I’m seeing is this and this.” Refer to a specific behaviour you’ve observed and tell them it looks like controlling behaviour.

What if I’m wrong?

In most cases, by the time we’re ready to have a conversation with someone we suspect is being abusive, the abusive behaviour in the relationship may have already escalated. Therefore, respond to their denials by being clear about what you’ve observed and that concern for them and their relationship has prompted you to start the conversation.

How do you help them to change their behaviour?

Encourage them to call an appropriate support or counselling service. These services can help them understand why they need to control and dominate others. The counsellors can also help them identify strategies to deal with their day-to-day relationships and change their ways. Services you can suggest include:

1800RESPECT (1800 737 732): 24/7 counselling, information and referrals for sexual assault, domestic and family violence.
Men's Referral Service (1300 766 491): This service from No to Violence offers assistance, information and counselling to help men who use family violence.
Mensline Australia ( 1300 78 99 78): Supports men and boys who are dealing with family and relationship difficulties.

How to talk to someone who may be experiencing family or domestic violence

What can I do to support someone I believe is experiencing family, intimate partner or domestic violence?

The first step is to ring 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732): and have a chat to the counsellors about what options would work best for the situation. They can talk you through potential referral pathways; what police might be able to do; and services and stay at home assistance available in their area.

How should I start a conversation with the person experiencing abuse?

Preparing for the conversation:

Choose the right place. Somewhere private, where the offender has no way of knowing the conversation has taken place. If the person has children, try to ensure the children are not around during the conversation. Choose somewhere no one can see them, so they are not ashamed or made to feel they must hide or suppress their emotions.
Understand your role is to listen and not to shame them. People in these situations might feel ashamed or guilty and have been told by their partner that they are to blame. Try and understand what their frame of mind might be.

Starting the conversation:

You can start the conversation in several ways. Choose whatever is most appropriate for the relationship you have with the person:

Raise it in a third-party way by saying: “I saw a story about domestic violence the other day and they said [insert what you heard/observed].”
By directly referencing behaviour you have witnessed: “I heard the way they spoke to you the other day. It upset me because that’s not who you are or how you are. Is there anything I can do to help?”
After opening up the conversation, pause a moment, let them speak and listen to what they say.
Use ‘Active Listening’ where you are listening to understand, rather than listening to reply.

There are three key things to communicate during the conversation:

Let them know you believe what they’re saying, and you’re concerned for them. Don’t question what they are saying. Don’t ask ‘why’ questions because these questions imply blame.
Remind them that what’s happening is a crime, it’s not their fault, and it’s the offender’s responsibility. It can be helpful to ask what advice they would give their best friend if their friend was in their situation. Let them know that this gives them a different emotional perspective.
Really get across that you’ll do whatever you can to help. Let them know what services are available. You can say something like “I’m happy to meet up whenever you want to have a chat” or “Let’s think about a safety plan”.

Understand what their reactions might be and how you might respond to them:

Defensiveness and denial are common responses because the offender consistently blames them for the abusive behaviour.
They might be afraid because of the constant hurt, humiliation, domination and control.
They might burst into tears and say: “Go away! Leave me alone. It’s my problem.”
They might be looking around furtively to make sure the offender can’t see them.

Always end the conversation with something open-ended that doesn’t shut the conversation down. If their response is “No, everything is fine”, leave the conversation with something like, “If there’s ever anything you need, give me a call” or “There’s this great organisation, 1800RESPECT. Why not give them a call? You can stay anonymous and just ask questions.” Another way to leave the conversation is: “If anything changes, I’m always here for you - for a chat or whatever you might need.”

What if they aren’t ready or in a position to leave the abusive relationship?

One conversation is unlikely to convince them to leave the relationship. Leaving just isn’t that easy. Rather, they’re likely to make multiple attempts before they leave the relationship for good.

There’s a considerable grooming process that takes place in domestic violence. The person experiencing it is gradually made to believe it’s their fault and they’re the one who is responsible. It can be difficult to turn that thinking around and recognise that what they’re experiencing is domestic violence. They could also have other concerns like leaving the community or town they grew up in, financial issues, or accommodation issues.

That’s why calling 1800 RESPECT is so important. They can give you specific advice on how to support them.

How often should you broach the subject?

The frequency will depend on how the first conversation went. It could be an ongoing conversation over a period of time, or it might be something that doesn’t happen again for another few months. It could even much later the person who’s experiencing violence turns up on your doorstep because you’re the only person who has been kind and supportive of them.

Make sure you look after you as well

How do you look after yourself when supporting someone else?

It’s important to counterbalance the trauma you witness or hear about. The following steps can help you look after yourself.

Do something calming: Go for walk, listen to music, read a book, swim or take a bath.
Creative pursuits: Do something creative that brings you pleasure and reminds you that the world isn’t filled with bad people. You could do some cooking or gardening.
Debrief: You can call 1800RESPECT and debrief with one of their counsellors. It’s important you don’t debrief with anyone else to respect their confidentiality and safety.

For help:

In an emergency, call 000 .

Men's Referral Service (1300 766 491): This service from No to Violence offers assistance, information and counselling to help men who use family violence.

Mensline Australia (1300 78 99 78): Supports men and boys who are dealing with family and relationship difficulties.

A mentally healthy owner makes for a healthy small business

Wed, 01 May 2024 04:24:05 GMT

Leanne, a small business owner, shares the challenges and triumphs of owning a small business, as well as the importance of creating a mentally healthy workplace for yourself and your employees.

The blokes knocking out stigma together

Tue, 09 Apr 2024 00:54:28 GMT

For 30 years Geoff has connected with his group of mates over boxing. Now facing the challenges that come with retirement, that connection is more important than ever.

Life after work: how we can support retirees

Tue, 09 Apr 2024 00:44:11 GMT

Unsure how you can support someone who is going through ups and downs of retirement? We've come up with some things you can say and do to help them.

The side of retirement we need to talk about more

Tue, 09 Apr 2024 00:43:01 GMT

Five retirees share their experiences and challenges since stopping work and the how connection and conversations can help when things get tough.

An R U OK? conversation saved my co-worker's life

Mon, 08 Apr 2024 05:53:54 GMT

When Vikki was told a colleague was struggling with their mental health, she reached and started a conversation. Her support ended up saving her co-worker's life.

10 reasons to get involved in Rail R U OK?

Mon, 01 Apr 2024 23:40:32 GMT

Every year more than 100,000 people take part in Rail R U OK? Here's ten reasons why rail organisations, and those working in the industry, should get involved.

Supporting a mate who has lost someone to suicide

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 00:33:24 GMT

It can be difficult knowing how to support a friend who has lost someone to suicide. We've come up with some things you can say and do to be there for your mate.

How to help a friend who's struggling with being online

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 00:21:08 GMT

If you've noticed your friend is spending too much time online, or they've been exposed to bullying or trolling, it's probably time to start a conversation and lend your support.

An unexpected knock at the door changed my life

Tue, 23 Jan 2024 02:18:53 GMT

Growing up, Jacqui wanted for nothing. But as a teenager she started to experience dark times. It was during this time Jacqui had a conversation she'll never forget.

I think my friend has an eating disorder. What can I do?

Tue, 05 Dec 2023 03:31:30 GMT

Nearly 1 in 10 Australians will experience an eating disorder in their lifetime. Here's what you can say and do to support those affected.

2023 with R U OK?

Sat, 02 Dec 2023 02:08:02 GMT

2023 marked 15 years since our late founder Gavin Larkin held the first R U OK?Day. Since 2009 many, many thousands of Australians have asked, 'are you OK?', and started a meaningful conversation to support someone they care about through a tough time.

Every day we hear from Australians who share with us the positive impact of an R U OK? conversation on their life or the lives of the people close to them. Thanks to each and every one of you who play such an important role in building our vision of a world where everyone is connected and protected from suicide.

Our 'R U OK? in 2023' video highlights some of the wonderful work being done across Australia by our passionate community of supporters. We look forward to encouraging more life changing conversations in 2024.

Holiday office closure

The R U OK? office will close for the holiday break from Friday 22 December through to Tuesday 9 January.

If you are experiencing difficult emotions during the Christmas/New Year period, please consider calling Lifeline on 13 11 14 for a confidential listening ear, any time of the day or night. If you are concerned for your own safety or that of others, please call Triple Zero (000) .

You can also find information about support services on the R U OK? website here . We also encourage those who are well and able to find time over the holiday period to Give the Gift of Conversation to those in their world who might be struggling. You can find tips and resources to help you support someone here .

Supporting those who support us

Wed, 29 Nov 2023 04:32:37 GMT

SES volunteer Phil experienced a life-changing health scare in 2021. He shares his story in the hope of encouraging everyone to look out for others and make R U OK? conversations a part of their everyday.

A colleague checking in changed Ashleigh's life

Thu, 09 Nov 2023 02:16:17 GMT

When SES volunteer Ashleigh's co-worker noticed she'd been acting differently, they asked if she was OK. It's a conversation that changed her life.

Supporting those in the emergency services these holidays

Tue, 31 Oct 2023 22:57:28 GMT

The holiday period can be challenging for those in the emergency services. Max, a fire fighter, shares how we can support those who might be finding this time of year tough.

'Tis the season to be checking in

Fri, 27 Oct 2023 02:37:51 GMT

The holiday season is a celebratory time, but it can also be a difficult time for some. R U OK? Ambassadors share their tips on supporting those who are struggling.

I didn’t realise I was struggling until a mate checked in

Wed, 18 Oct 2023 04:44:25 GMT

Anthony was struggling with an injury, but it wasn’t until a mate asked, ‘are you OK?’, that he realised the impact it was having on him mentally as well.

Talking to a mate who is stressed about finances

Wed, 27 Sep 2023 20:12:13 GMT

Life is expensive. Working, studying, and socialising on a budget can be challenging. If you think your friend might be struggling with money or housing, there are a few things you can do to help.

Helping a mate who is feeling lonely

Tue, 19 Sep 2023 20:11:43 GMT

Loneliness is about how disconnected we feel, rather than how many people we know. If you’re worried a mate might be lonely, keep reading to find how you can help them feel connected.

Isaac Humphries: Why I'm encouraging people to meaningfully connect

Mon, 11 Sep 2023 01:54:12 GMT

The support of his close network helped Isaac Humphries through his darkest days. Now the NBL star is encouraging others to look out for those they care about by starting a meaningful conversation.

How to support someone experiencing grief and loss

Wed, 06 Sep 2023 11:27:37 GMT

When someone we care about is experiencing grief and loss it can be difficult to know how to support them. Here are some of the things you can say and do to be there for them.

Why we should check in with our tradie mates

Tue, 29 Aug 2023 06:06:23 GMT

Stewart - a plumber with 30 years experience - knows firsthand the challenges that come with being a tradie. He shares how to spot the signs a tradie is doing it tough, and why we should make checking in a regular thing.

Seven tips to support new parents

Tue, 01 Aug 2023 06:35:52 GMT

Most new parents need a bit of extra support from family and friends. That said, it can be difficult to know what you can do to help them. We've put together a few handy tips.

R U OK? - I'm Here to Hear

Wed, 12 Jul 2023 02:13:43 GMT

R U OK? research has underscored the impact a genuine conversation can have on someone who is struggling with life.

The research found more than four in five people who engaged in a meaningful conversation felt better about managing their situation having talked it through and felt supported, heard, and safe during the conversation.

However, the research (fiftyfive5, 2023) also found that when asked if they were OK, two in five people (38%) who said they were OK actually were not OK. These respondents told us that important factors to encourage an honest conversation are:

Trust : they need to know the person they speak to is someone they trust, and, for many, someone they are close to
Authenticity : they want to know the person asking them genuinely wants to hear answer
Environment : people would prefer to have these conversations in a relatively private space with enough time to share what they want to say.

That's why R U OK? are calling on Australians to let the people they care about know; ‘I’m here, to hear’ , every day of the year.

“You need to ask this question because you mean it. If you really care and want to hear an honest answer, be genuine with your ask, make space to listen and let the person know you’re sticking around for whatever comes next,” said Katherine Newton, R U OK? CEO.

“We know the positive impact an R U OK? conversation have when people know and trust each other. This usually means that trust has been built over time, they’re familiar with each other’s routines and behaviours, and they likely know what’s going on in each other’s lives. This trust, along with consideration of the where and when a conversation will take place contributes to making an R U OK? conversation truly meaningful.”

R U OK? Community Ambassador, Anthony Gagliardi understands first-hand the importance of having an authentic conversation with someone close to you, who takes the time to take notice and really listen.

“Asking, ‘are you OK?’ in a genuine manner is so important to the outcome,” said Mr Gagliardi who when struggling with the physical impact of an ongoing chronic back injury didn’t realise the mental toll it was having on him until a friend spotted the signs that he might need support.

“I didn't really know that I was going to answer ‘no’ (I wasn’t OK) at that point in time, but he sensed I was struggling, that something wasn't quite right and asked me if I was OK,” said Mr Gagliardi. “Due to our relationship, there was a high level of trust and respect.

“It is about just being there, being able to listen, you're not trying to fix the problem, that's not the role,” he said. “It was that non-judgmental, really active listening, just letting me vent, letting me let go of everything that I was thinking and worried about.”

Mr Gagliardi’s experience reinforces the need to show genuine interest and concern when you ask someone, ‘are you OK?’ to encourage a meaningful conversation.

“Positive experiences revolve around feeling heard, validated, and receiving empathy,” said Ms Newton. “By making the time and space for an R U OK? conversation and listening with an open mind, we can help the people in our world feel supported and, if needed, encourage them to access professional support long before they are in crisis.”

Let the people in your world know you’re here, to really hear, because a conversation could change a life.

R U OK? has resources, including the Guide to Supporting R U OK?, a conversation guide, videos, posters, social media tiles and more to help people start more life-changing conversations and drive genuine change in their workplace, school and community this R U OK?Day and every day. Sign up to access the resources here.

1 Fiftyfive5 (2023). R U OK?Day campaign research. Australia

Spot the signs and check in this Men's Health Week

Thu, 15 Jun 2023 05:44:42 GMT

It's Men's Health Week and this year's theme is healthy habits. We believe a healthy habit all men should form is how to spot the signs a mate is doing it tough and checking in by asking R U OK?

Moonee Ponds local honoured for community work

Thu, 11 May 2023 00:00:27 GMT

Moonee Ponds local, Nigel Gould, has received the R U OK? Community Award at the 2023 Barbara Hocking Memorial Awards.

The awards recognise those who help create a world where we are all connected and protected from suicide and are presented in five categories: Workplace, Education, Community, Conversation Leader, and Young Conversation Leader.

The judging panel was impressed by Mr Gould’s contribution to suicide prevention efforts and his work to encourage meaningful conversations for many.

Across a decade of operational mining in far north Queensland, western New South Wales and remote North-Western Australia, Mr Gould has also worked as a peer support officer to lend a listening ear to colleagues facing life’s challenges.

R U OK? Community Ambassador, Mostapha Kourouche, announced the winner of the Community award during a virtual ceremony.

“Our judges were inspired by Nigel’s passion for supporting the communities around him to encourage everyone to look out for one another and ask, ‘are you OK?’,” said Mr Kourouche. “Nigel has dedicated his life to mental health awareness, particularly within the FIFO (fly in, fly out) community that sees workers living away from home for weeks on end.

“Congratulations Nigel and thank you for championing the R U OK? message.”

The Barbara Hocking Memorial Awards were first presented in 2019 in memory of the late Barbara Hocking OAM.

“ Barbara was a fearless mental health advocate and campaigner,” said Katherine Newton, R U OK? CEO. “Her leadership and achievements had a positive impact on how people living with mental illness and their families are treated and regarded in Australia.

“These awards honour her lifelong commitment to peer support by highlighting the opportunity we all have to make a difference to those in our world.

“Barbara was one of the first leaders in the mental health and suicide prevention sector to recognise the merit of the R U OK? mission in breaking down stigma. Our nominees demonstrate the values she lived by every day.”

Details of all categories, finalists and winners for The Barbara Hocking Memorial Awards can be found here .

Former first responder honoured for suicide prevention work

Wed, 10 May 2023 23:57:42 GMT

Former first responder James Maskey, has been named the R U OK? Conversation Leader at the 2023 Barbara Hocking Memorial Awards.

The judging panel recognised Mr Maskey’s outstanding contribution to suicide prevention work, particularly his work to promote stronger connections and meaningful conversations for those within the police and emergency services sector.

Mr Maskey is a retired front-line Queensland Police Officer with a service history including General Duties and in the Child Protection and Investigation Unit.

Mr Maskey was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder in 2013. He has since become a dedicated mental health advocate and works to build and maintain mentally healthy workplaces in the first responder sector.

In announcing Mr Maskey as the award recipient, R U OK? Community Ambassador, Kate Taylor highlighted the value of his efforts.

"James is a real champion for individual first responders and works tirelessly to increase help-seeking behaviours, remove barriers to accessing supports and ultimately create mentally healthy workplaces for police and emergency services personnel and volunteers,” said Ms Taylor. “James shares the story of his lived experience and recovery to encourage others to seek help and to create connections within the first responder community.

"He also reinforces the importance of having family and friends engage with R U OK?,” she said. “Congratulations James and thank you for championing the R U OK? message."

The Barbara Hocking Memorial Awards were first presented in 2019 in memory of the late Barbara Hocking OAM.

“These awards honour her lifelong commitment to peer support by highlighting the opportunity we all have to make a difference to those in our world.

Details of all categories, finalists and winners for The Barbara Hocking Memorial Awards can be found here .

SA school recognised for championing R U OK? message

Wed, 10 May 2023 23:55:44 GMT

Allendale East Area School has received the R U OK? Education Award at the 2023 Barbara Hocking Memorial Awards.

The school works closely with local support services by inviting into the school to speak with students about the importance of looking after themselves and others. More recently, the school welcomed an R U OK? Community Ambassador who role-played with students about when and how to ask, ‘are you OK?’ and the 4 steps of an R U OK? Conversation.

Amelia Gilbert from R U OK? announced the Education Award and congratulated the Allendale East Area School for the efforts they making to encourage meaningful conversations in their school community.

"Looking out for one another and lending support are key life skills for every age group," said Ms Gilbert.

"Allendale East Area School have made efforts to genuinely change the behaviour and attitudes of both staff and students by encouraging everyone to lend appropriate and compassionate support to family, friends, classmates, and colleagues.

"Congratulations to the team at Allendale East Area School and thank you for championing the R U OK? message.”"

The Barbara Hocking Memorial Awards were first presented in 2019 in memory of the late Barbara Hocking OAM.

“These awards honour her lifelong commitment to peer support by highlighting the opportunity we all have to make a difference to those in our world.

Details of all categories, finalists and winners for The Barbara Hocking Memorial Awards can be found here .

Gunnedah teenager named Young Conversation Leader

Wed, 10 May 2023 23:54:39 GMT

Gunnedah teenager Kohbi Barrow, 13, has received the Young Conversation Leader Award at the R U OK? 2023 Barbara Hocking Memorial Awards.

Kohbi has been speaking at workplaces since he was nine years old and now connects with other students to promote positive mental health and to encourage others to do the same. Kohbi also started the Coffee Lid Project , an initiative to encourage others to be kind to each other and raise awareness about the impact of bullying.

R U OK? Community Ambassador, Deepti Bhatt, announced the award and congratulated the teenager for his efforts to promote connection and meaningful conversations.

“We’re never too young to learn how to be a good friend and ask R U OK?,” said
Ms Bhatt . “Our Young Conversation Leader Kohbi is setting an example for young people about the importance of making connections, looking out for one another and encouraging everyone to ask, ‘are you OK?’.

“Kohbi has helped those around him feel more supported and connected and we are grateful to him for his efforts to promote the R U OK? message and values.”

The Barbara Hocking Memorial Awards were first presented in 2019 in memory of the late Barbara Hocking OAM.

“These awards honour her lifelong commitment to peer support by highlighting the opportunity we all have to make a difference to those in our world.

Details of all categories, finalists and winners for The Barbara Hocking Memorial Awards can be found here .

Rozelle Interchange Project building an R U OK? Culture

Wed, 10 May 2023 23:50:49 GMT

The Rozelle Interchange Project has received the Workplace Award at the R U OK? 2023 Barbara Hocking Memorial Awards.

The judging panel recognised the outstanding contribution The Rozelle Interchange Project is making to suicide prevention work through building an R U OK? Culture within its workforce.

The Rozelle Interchange Project is an infrastructure joint venture between John Holland and CPB Contractors. Both organisations have committed to address challenges of mental health and suicide prevention for staff, sub-contractors and their families. The Project recognises that ‘prevention is better than cure’ and focuses on three pillars; trained mental health first aiders, trained management, and all of project personnel engagement.

Across The Rozelle Interchange Project there are now 230 trained Mental First Aiders who wear uniquely colourful high-vis shirts and provide on the ground peer support.

In parallel, training has been held with the Project’s management team to ensure they are able to identify and respond appropriately to staff needing further support.

Announcing the award as a virtual ceremony, R U OK? Community Ambassador, Mostapha Kourouche, congratulated The Rozelle Interchange Project team for their workplace efforts.

“The Workplace Award recognises organisations that are building a culture where everyone feels safe, supported, and encouraged,” said Mr Kourouche . “The Rozelle Interchange Project has helped those at John Holland, CPB Contractors, and their families feel more supported and connected when they are going through a tough time, and we commend them for their work to build an R U OK? Culture on the site.”

In 2019 R U OK?Day was among the first initiatives to engage all of project personnel on site and since then the project has marked R U OK?Day, Movember, Mental Health Awareness Week and Mates in Construction as part of ongoing efforts to promote an on-site culture of making every day the day to ask, ‘are you OK?’.

The Barbara Hocking Memorial Awards were first presented in 2019 in memory of the late Barbara Hocking OAM.

“These awards honour her lifelong commitment to peer support by highlighting the opportunity we all have to make a difference to those in our world.

Details of all categories, finalists and winners for The Barbara Hocking Memorial Awards can be found here .

Creating connections in small towns

Mon, 24 Apr 2023 04:21:48 GMT

Lisa is an R U OK? Community Ambassador and dedicates her days to bringing the Woolgoolga community together to talk about life’s ups and downs and normalise checking in.

Steering conversations with workmates in the rail industry

Tue, 18 Apr 2023 00:41:05 GMT

Ahead of Rail R U OK?Day, two senior leaders in the industry share their tips on supporting a workmate who might be doing it tough.

The question you shouldn't wait to ask

Mon, 17 Apr 2023 07:53:34 GMT

Ann-Maree Fardell Hartley is a psychologist and suicidologist. She is encouraging people to not wait until somebody is visibly distressed or in crisis to reach out and offer support.

Bringing Blokes Together

Thu, 13 Apr 2023 04:02:54 GMT

When Greg, 79, lost his wife of 55 years, he found life-changing connection and support at a coffee group set up by Greg, a 42-year-old carer. This is their story.

Meet The Barbaras

Fri, 07 Apr 2023 03:53:40 GMT

Three women, all named Barbara, have an incredible friendship filled with lots of laughter. They provide each other with a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on when times get tough.

Helping a mate who is worried about the future

Wed, 05 Apr 2023 20:05:20 GMT

Whether it’s study, career, travel or relationships, your friend might be stressed about what the future holds. Knowing what to say and do can make the unknown seem less scary.

R U OK? launches #FriendBetter campaign for young people

Mon, 03 Apr 2023 20:35:45 GMT

R U OK? have released a campaign dedicated to young Australians aged 16 to 25. ‘#FriendBetter with R U OK?’ recognises that, like good friends, some things are just better together.

Visit the #FriendBetter with R U OK?’ page and access the FREE resources here

#FriendBetter with R U OK?’ has been informed by the Connecting Young Australians report , which found seven in ten are willing to talk about their mental health when asked by a trusted friend, but a lack of skills and confidence is a barrier to young people supporting someone close to them.

The digital campaign presents everyday duos having supportive conversations; for example, a phone and charger feel better when they’re connected. These regular, meaningful conversations highlight that we all have what it takes to help our friends feel supported during what is a transitional phase of life for young people.

The duos link through to short, easy-to-digest conversation guides that address the top life stressors for young people as identified in the research including motivation, financial stress, relationships, mental health, and academic stress.

"Our research shows that the young people in our world won’t always tell us they need support, so it’s up to us to make asking how they’re really going and offering our support a part of our everyday friendships," said Katherine Newton, R U OK? CEO.

"We want young people to know that when we offer that support genuinely, it can help people feel better about themselves and their situation."

"Through ‘#FriendBetter with R U OK?’ we want to equip young people with the skills and confidence to ask the question, listen, and help a friend navigate life’s ups and downs, which happen to all of us," she said.

This campaign was developed with the support of our Conversation Partner, ING Australia.

Helping a mate who is stressed about exams and study

Mon, 03 Apr 2023 20:13:05 GMT

Academic pressure affects everyone differently, and for some, it can be a little overwhelming. If you think your friend might be stressed about study, here's what you can do to help.

How to help a mate with mental ill-health

Mon, 03 Apr 2023 20:09:14 GMT

It’s normal to feel sad, stressed, angry or anxious every now and then. But if you notice your friend is experiencing these feelings for long periods and it’s starting to affect their everyday life, it’s probably time to check in.

Helping a mate struggling with low motivation

Mon, 03 Apr 2023 20:08:19 GMT

Staying motivated can be tough. Tardiness, procrastination, absence and negative comments are some of the signs your friend could be lacking motivation and needing support.

Helping a mate who’s having relationship issues

Mon, 03 Apr 2023 20:07:40 GMT

Every relationship, no matter how strong, has its ups and downs. Your friend might be dealing with a recent break-up, family breakdown, conflict, or social issues. Here are some signs to look out for.

Helping a mate with low self-esteem

Mon, 03 Apr 2023 20:06:52 GMT

If your friend is lacking confidence, doubting their ability or speaking negatively about themselves, they could be experiencing low self-esteem. Here's what you can say and do to support them.

My world changed the day I started talking

Fri, 10 Mar 2023 00:31:32 GMT

R U OK? Community Ambassador James was in a dark place four years ago. He shares how opening up and talking about what he was going through saved his life.

5000 Reasons to ask R U OK?

Tue, 28 Feb 2023 03:14:32 GMT

Lachlan Spark took his body to extreme limits, running 5000km in support of R U OK? For 'Sparky', the pain he experienced was nothing compared to what countless Aussies go through every day.

R U OK? releases Are They Triple OK? podcast

Thu, 16 Feb 2023 00:29:31 GMT

R U OK? has launched a podcast series to encourage life changing conversations, early intervention and supportive behaviour amongst the peers, family and friends of those who work and volunteer in the police and emergency services.

The ‘Are They Triple OK? podcast’ features personal stories and practical tools to increase social support for emergency services personnel and how to build a mentally healthy workplace. It also includes tips on how to ask, ‘are you OK?’ and navigate a conversation if someone is not OK.

The ‘Are They Triple OK? podcast’ is hosted by Matt Newlands, R U OK? Community Ambassador and former police officer and is one of a suite of free resources available from R U OK? for those who work in the police and emergency services, their families and friends.

The podcast and resources including a conversation guide and personal stories that demonstrate the life changing impact of an R U OK? conversation can be found here .

The ‘Are They Triple OK? podcast’ is available for download on a range of streaming services, including Apple Podcasts, Spotify and Audible. Click below to listen.

SUPPORTED BY

Juggling work, family and mental health

Tue, 07 Feb 2023 23:10:38 GMT

Paramedic Janice shares the challenges and triumphs of the job, and how having a peer or loved one checking in and having a meaningful conversation can make a difference.

Tips for talking to someone online

hello@ruok.org.au — Tue, 07 Feb 2023 00:13:32 GMT

This guide has been developed by R U OK?, an Australian suicide prevention charity with a focus on encouraging people to connect and start meaningful conversations.

Being a great mate means supporting someone when they’re facing life’s ups and downs. It can start with asking them how they’re going and listening to them. Some people might feel more comfortable or find it easier to open up and share how they’re really feeling online.

When we’re online we can connect with our friends, family and workmates but also people we haven’t spoken to in years or don’t know that well. Whatever our relationship is, when someone posts or shares something online that looks like a cry for help it can make you worry, and you may be unsure what to do.

The following tips a re a guide for what to say to someone who needs some help or support online, we’ve also got some useful resources if you or someone you know needs professional support.

Tips for supporting someone online

What should I look out for?

It’s about trusting your gut instinct when you feel something’s not quite right or feel someone might need some extra support. However, things to look out for may include:

They’re sharing content, like music lyrics or poems, that sound sad or upsetting.
They’ve stopped responding to messages or have become less active or more withdrawn online. You may notice that they’re posting more or less content than usual.
Their appearance has changed. They might look more dishevelled or tired in pictures.
The times they are posting or sharing content has changed. You may have noticed they’re posting very early in the morning or late at night when they would normally be sleeping.
They seem to be experiencing changes in their mood. They may sound sad, angry or lonely.
They’re struggling to cope with their problems or feelings.
Images or posts that suggest they may be self-harming or injuring themselves.
They’ve said they want to die, can’t do this anymore or are thinking about suicide.

It’s OK to reach out

Don’t think you’ll make things worse by reaching out if you do it in a genuine way.

If you don’t know the person well enough, the fact they’ve shared that they’re struggling publicly may indicate that they’re not comfortable asking the people they see regularly for help directly or may not be getting the support they need in real life.

If you know someone in their social network you can reach out to them and say something like, "Hey, I'm worried about Alec's post, but I don't know him well enough to offer the support he needs. How do you think we can get him help?"

If the person who’s struggling has reached out to you directly, perhaps over direct message, that’s a good sign they’re comfortable sharing what they’re going through with you and think you may be a source of comfort and support.

Remember, it’s the act of reaching out that matters most. What people who’ve experienced distress have told us is that it’s less about the words and more about the intent. Try not to focus on finding the perfect words but on showing you genuinely care and are concerned about this person.

Reach out in private

While someone might be expressing their emotions publicly, it’s best to provide support in private so your friend feels safe opening up to you. Sending a private message online is a good place to start. You could write, “I saw your post and I want you to know I’m here if you want to talk.” But if you can it’s best to give them a call or send them a text. If you don’t have their number saved you can see if that’s an option by saying something like, “I can give you a call or we can chat over text if you’d like? What’s your number?”

If they don’t want to talk to you, encourage them to open up to someone they trust by asking them who they might feel more comfortable chatting with.

What happens if I can’t direct message someone privately?

You might respond to their post or content with something like, “I’m worried about you and concerned for your safety. If you’re in Australia I urge you to call 000 or Lifeline on 13 11 14.” If you think someone is at risk, encourage them to connect with emergency services or a helpline.

Listen

The simple act of asking someone how they’re doing, with an open-ended question, like “Are you OK?”, shows that you care. It’s important you give them space to share and respond to your questions so don’t offer your opinion before they’ve responded. Once they’ve started responding, ask simple follow-up questions like, “Have you been feeling this way for a while?”, “What does that feel like?” or “What has been on your mind as you’re going through this?” This communicates that you genuinely want to know how they’re really doing.

Whether in person or in writing, saying things like “I understand” and “I’m listening” can make them feel heard and show you genuinely care. You can also say or write things like “I’m sad that you’re in so much pain right now” or “You’re in such a tough situation” to show you’re trying to understand what they’re feeling or going through.

Connect them to support

Before or as you’re talking to your friend research organisations or resources that may help them manage what they’re going through or feeling. You can find some resources at the end of this guide or at www.ruok.org.au/findhelp

Remember that, you cannot fix the person or control what they do in the future. Your role is simply to be positive about taking steps to find support and providing some options for where they could go for that support.

Look after yourself

Talking or interacting with someone online who is struggling or in distress can be hard. It is especially hard if you are not sure where they live or are unable check in with them later.

After the conversation, doing something you enjoy can help you relax and release some of the heightened emotions you might be feeling. You might want to go for a walk, have a bath or listen to some uplifting music. It can also help to debrief the conversation with someone you trust like a friend, parent or a service like Lifeline, which is available 24/7 on 13 11 14 (Aust. only).

Remember, you’re not responsible for how your friend feels or their actions. You can only encourage them to seek support if they need it.

I’m worried about their safety

If you're worried that the person you are chatting with online might be thinking about suicide, don't be afraid to ask them directly. Asking the question does not lead to suicide.

It’s not an easy question to ask, so if you don’t feel confident, a good first step is to call a crisis helpline to seek some immediate advice – you can find a list of available services at the end of this guide or at www.ruok.org.au/findhelp

How do I ask directly if they’re having thoughts of suicide?

You might say something like: “I just wanted to check in because you posted (image of message) and I’m worried about you. It sounds like you might be feeling suicidal, is that the case?” If they say yes, the most important things for you to do are to:

1. Contact the person’s family or someone in their social network

2. Get immediate professional help for them.

Getting them to professional help can start with any of these options:

· Calling a crisis support line.

· Encouraging them to go to a hospital emergency department. If you are able to you should take them there.

If you’re concerned for their immediate safety and they aren’t responding to you, you’re unable to connect with anyone in their family or social network, or they’re refusing to contact emergency services, you should:

· Call emergency services on their behalf

If you contact emergency services on the person’s behalf, keep the person at risk informed about what is happening, unless this might increase the risk to them or someone else. If possible, try to maintain a conversation with the person until help arrives. Be prepared to provide emergency services with the following information:

• Your name and contact details.

• The fact that someone has told you online they have a plan to end their life or are in the process of making a suicide attempt.

• What the person online has said that indicates that they are at immediate risk of suicide.

• The date and time of their post.

• The person’s identity and current location, if you know this information. You may need to look at their social media accounts to get this information.

You may be concerned about contacting emergency services, but they are well placed to respond quickly and conduct a welfare check to check on the safety and wellbeing of the person at risk.

Once you have contacted emergency services you should report the content to the social media sites safety team.

Depending on the site’s policy, they may reach out to the person to offer help, remove content that may be upsetting to others, or contact emergency services in the person’s area to get help for them.

You can usually find information on how to report content by searching “Reporting suicidal content on [insert channel name]” in your browser.

Learn more about communicating safely about suicide and reporting concerning social media content in Orygen's #chatsafe guidelines at https://www.orygen.org.au/chatsafe

Useful contacts for someone who’s not OK

Encourage them to call on these Australian crisis lines and professionals:

Lifeline (24/7 )

13 11 14

lifeline.org.au

Kids Helpline

kidshelpline.com.au

1800 55 1800

Suicide Call Back Service (24/7)

1300 659 467

suicidecallbackservice.org.au

Beyond Blue (24/7)

1300 224 636

beyondblue.org.au

Mensline (24/7)

1300 78 99 78
mensline.org.au

Head to Health

A directory of digital mental health services and resources

headtohealth.gov.au

More contacts: ruok.org.au/findhelp

Useful contacts for someone providing support

Family and friends can also call upon the services listed above for advice and assistance on how to support someone who is struggling with life.

#chatsafe has tools and tips to help young people communicate safely about suicide online.

orygen.org.au/chatsafe/

This resource was reviewed by Ann-Maree Fardell Hartley, Registered Psychologist and Suicidologist

Encouraging connections in the classroom and at home

Mon, 06 Feb 2023 03:08:21 GMT

From lesson plans to videos and activities involving the whole school community, Central Coast Grammar spoke to us about their annual R U OK?Day event.

Tell us a little bit about your school.

Central Coast Grammar School is based in Erina Heights, NSW. We have over 1400 students across K to 12 and believe that all members of our community should treat one another with kindness, honour, and respect.

Why is the R U OK? message important to your school community?

We know conversations can change lives and we want to make sure we keep looking out for and lending support to the people in our world who might need it. If we all continue to have these important conversations whenever we think someone might be struggling with life’s ups and downs, we can help people feel connected and supported long before they’re in crisis.

We also know that life for many families is busy. R U OK? Day helps sparks conversations and connections at school and at home. If families can see what the school is doing in class, they can connect with their child at home and have meaningful and important conversations that could make a big difference.

What activities did your school community take part in for R U OK?

R U OK?Day is an annual event on our school calendar and an important part of our wellbeing focus. This year we wanted to use our school management platform, MyCCGS, to bring together a week of messages, information and stories for families, students and staff alike – a homepage for everything R U OK? related. We wanted the whole community to have access to the information so we could give families the chance to spark R U OK? conversations at home.

Activities and lessons were delivered to specific year groups, messages were shared on the MyCCGS platform targeting K to 6 and Years 7 to 12 and were viewed nearly 3,000 times by students, staff and families. These key messages and videos were then populated onto our R U OK? homepage. School signage and posters were also displayed, making use of digital screens and monitors to share important messages through the week.

What did students do to support the day and encourage meaningful connections and conversations?

We chose to use the School’s social media platforms to get key messages out and involve students in the discussion. The ‘It doesn’t matter how you ask. Just ASK’ Instagram reel involved students saying, ‘Are you OK?’ in different languages helping to show our community that it really doesn’t matter how you ask the question, you just need to ask it. A group of Year 9 students created another Instagram video outlining the four steps to an R U OK? conversation in a short skit. These videos helped normalise an R U OK? conversation for students and show just how simple it can be.

Thanks Central Coast Grammar School for taking part and for encouraging meaningful connections at school, not just on R U OK?Day, but all year round.

Connecting with LGBTI Elders

Wed, 01 Feb 2023 02:11:55 GMT

Older people, including those in the LGBTI community, can feel invisible, forgotten and devalued. Here are some simple ways we can connect with them and lend our support.

Building a Mentally Healthy Workplace in Emergency Services

Mon, 30 Jan 2023 23:37:29 GMT

Dennis reveals some of the challenges faced by firefighters, gives tips on how to check in with peers and shares how organisations can build an R U OK? Culture.

Coming Out Queer: MasterChef contestant Conor shares his story

Sun, 15 Jan 2023 01:05:42 GMT

Conor shares how the support of close friends saved his life after he experienced years of bullying.

Swimming the big blue to tackle the black dog

Sun, 15 Jan 2023 00:42:47 GMT

He recently broke the record for swimming the most laps of Bondi Beach. Ned Wieland explains why he did it and why getting people talking about mental health means so much to him.

2022 with R U OK?

Wed, 21 Dec 2022 21:52:43 GMT

Every day we hear from Australians who share with us the positive impact an R U OK? conversation has had in their life or how by asking, 'are you OK?', they've helped someone in their world find support. The video below shares some of the stories of 2022 that remind us that a conversation can truly change a life .

Holiday office closure

The R U OK? office is closed from Thursday 22 December and will reopen Tuesday 10 January.

If you are experiencing difficult emotions during the Christmas/New Year holiday period, please consider calling Lifeline on 13 11 14 for a confidential listening ear, any time of the day or night. If you are concerned for your own safety or that of others, please call Triple Zero (000).

You can also find information about support services on the R U OK? website here . We also encourage those who are well and able to find time over the holiday period to check in with those in their world who might be struggling. You can find ’Tis the season to be asking R U OK?’ connection tips and resources here .

New research highlights importance of young people connecting and supporting each other

Thu, 15 Dec 2022 22:50:10 GMT

Research commissioned by R U OK? has highlighted the importance of equipping young people with the skills and confidence to support each other through tough times.

The Connecting Young Australians research by YouthInsight found that seven in ten Australians aged 12-25 do not ask for help when they are experiencing a difficult time, but a corresponding 70% are willing to engage in meaningful conversations with a close friend and prefer to have these conversations in person.

The research also found that only two in five young Australians said they would discuss mental health concerns with family members (42%) or in a group setting with friends (42%).

R U OK? will use this research to inform the development of specific, relevant resources to empower young Australians with the skills and confidence to support their friends through life’s ups and downs.

“The research released today shows that the young people in our world won’t always tell us they need support, so it’s up to us to make asking how they’re really going and knowing how to support them an everyday part of our relationships,” said Katherine Newton, R U OK? CEO.

Click here to access the 'Connecting Young Australians' report.

“We want to ensure young Australians feel confident to have a meaningful conversation and help their friends better navigate life’s ups and downs. This research, along with the expertise of advocates, researchers, and valuable guidance from the voices of lived experience will shape the development of R U OK? resources for young Australians.”

R U OK? Community Ambassador Caitlyn Hincks, 25, who experienced body dysmorphia, anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation during her teenage years, says she didn’t seek help until a concerned friend reached out to her.

“The research released today by R U OK? resonates with me so much and it shows we’re not alone in how we’re feeling,” said Ms Hincks.

“I struggled to reach out and ask for help because I worried about what others would think about me. I am so grateful my close friend and my partner noticed I wasn’t OK and felt they could have that conversation with me."

"I am passionate about helping other young people to be able to have this conversation if they spot the signs their own friends might be struggling," said Ms Hincks. "It might seem scary, but we’ve all got what it takes to change, or even save the lives of our friends.”

The development of the R U OK? campaign for young Australians is being funded by R U OK? Conversation Partner, ING.

If you or someone you know is doing it tough, Lifeline is available 24/7 on 13 11 14 and you can find other services and supports here .

Creating Healthy Holiday Habits

Tue, 13 Dec 2022 01:24:04 GMT

It's easy to feel a little flat as we reach the end of the year. Creating healthy habits is a great way to recharge the batteries.

As the holiday season starts to kick off, it is important to reflect on the year, which pushed many people to their limits and challenged their mental health and wellbeing. Across the country, the impacts of COVID-19 have continued, having a vast impact on people’s mental health.

Furthermore, ongoing global tensions, war and natural disasters have collectively taken a toll on wellbeing. So if you are feeling lethargic, burnt out and like you just don’t have anything left in the tank to get through the next few weeks, you are not alone.

The Centre for Corporate Health have come up with these strategies to help people recharge over the festive period. If someone you know is struggling, perhaps you could suggest some of these wellbeing activities, or, better yet, do them together.

Take a digital detox

Taking a digital break can be an essential part of looking after your mental wellbeing over the Christmas period, particularly if you’re struggling with loneliness, low self-esteem or if you are prone to engaging in social comparisons.

If you find yourself mindlessly scrolling on social media because you are bored, try using a meditation app instead. If you are seeking connection, consider ringing someone or sending a text and arranging a physical meet up. Other things you could try include:

Setting a time limit on your phone use
Stop following social media accounts that leave your feeling flat or frustrated
Switch of all notifications
Don’t bring the phone to meals
Go for tech free walks in nature
Read hard copy books or magazines

The Calendar of Connection provides connection ideas to help you lend support to someone who might be struggling over the holiday period. Download yours here .

Make sleep a focus

Adults who sleep between 6-8 hours per day tend to live longer. Research has found a strong link between mental health and sleep, with depression and anxiety diagnoses both featuring disrupted sleep as a symptom. The holiday season is a fantastic opportunity to focus on your sleep before you commence the new year and another busy work year.

Top up your bucket

It is important to intentionally protect your recovery space. While a lot of people are continuing to work remotely from home, ensure that your home promotes feelings of recovery and relaxation, and does not remind you of work. How can you change the way your home looks visually? Put on an out of office reply, put away all work-related items and establish some rules for yourself. Book activities even if they are mundane – create an ‘at home’ itinerary including plenty of down time. During your holiday period, determine what you find valuable and meaningful, and schedule in these activities. Discuss this with relevant others (family members, friends) to have a collective experience.

Create a holiday routine

Set up a holiday routine to enhance your ability to “switch off” and recharge effectively. Make a plan of activities that you enjoy, and create new summer holiday traditions. Tap into your wellbeing strategies and aim to implement one wellbeing strategy every day.

Practice gratitude

Being grateful for what you have has many positive effects on your resilience and motivation. Expressing gratitude regularly increases happiness, self-esteem and motivation and reduces depression. Only 15 seconds of gratitude each day can promote positive mind-set and reduces stress.

Give back… it’s good for you.

When you help others, you experience positive emotions which helps to reduce stress, increase your physical health and increase your longevity. Scientists have found that antibody levels in your body increase immediately after witnessing or initiating generous acts. Here are some ways you can give back, this holiday season:

Donate gently used toys or clothing to a local non-profit organisation in your community and see how you can brighten another child’s holiday season.
Put together a goody package for someone else less fortunate in your community or overseas.
Get your family together this Christmas and make an effort to go out into the community and give back with a local non-profit organisation (e.g., soup kitchen)
Making someone’s day better through kindness (e.g., inviting someone over to celebrate Christmas who you know lives alone or is separated from family)

If you or someone you know is doing it tough, Lifeline is available 24/7 through the holiday period on 13 11 14 and you can find other services and supports here .

School community shows power of support and connection

Mon, 12 Dec 2022 05:08:58 GMT

Tom Price Senior High School (TPSHS) is located in Tom Price, 1400kms from Perth, Western Australia. The 320-student school, as well as the local community, have been impacted by suicide and wanted to make a difference by taking part in R U OK?Day activities in 2022.

What activities did your school community participate in to recognise R U OK? in 2022?

TPSHS utilised the resources from the R U OK? Website for Secondary Schools . The Student Services team prepared packs for teachers to use during our weekly session on the Wednesday prior to R U OK?Day as this helped get the conversations going before the actual day.

Our Year 7 English classes participated in a R U OK? Poem competition and the Year 8 English classes participated in a poster competition. These were judged and displayed on R U OK?Day.

Oszkar's R U OK? poem

Shaela's R U OK? poem

On the morning of R U OK?Day staff and students shared a yellow pancake breakfast, staff face-painted the R U OK? symbol onto students’ hands and faces; and merchandise was given out to the students. During this time staff and students were heard talking about the importance of connection and supporting others. At lunchtime students were given a yellow iced cupcake with the R U OK? cupcake logo supplied from R U OK? website on top.

Why is R U OK? important to you and your school community?

R U OK?Day is an important message to remind students and staff to reach out and ask 'are you OK?' if they are worried about someone. It's a simple question that can be asked on any day to promote conversation and wellbeing. Our school and local community has been impacted by suicide and we strongly value R U OK?’s message as it is a simple and important reminder.

Staff at TPHS brought a splash of yellow to their R U OK?Day activities.

What was your highlight from the day?

The submissions from students were amazing! To hear the students talking about R U OK? throughout the day, was uplifting.

Thanks Tom Price Senior High School for taking part and for encouraging meaningful connections at school, not just on R U OK?Day, but all year round.

Supporting someone who's finding things tough during the holidays

Wed, 30 Nov 2022 04:25:21 GMT

The holiday season can be one of the toughest times of the year. Some people experience feelings of loneliness, isolation and grief while for others the impact of added financial and social pressure is significant. Psychologist and Suicidologist Annie Fardell Hartley shares her tips for supporting someone who might be finding the holiday period difficult.

The end-of-year period can be a difficult time for many. Missing loved ones who are no longer with us, being unable to travel to join family and friends, financial pressure, illness or not being able to meet seasonal expectations and demands. For some it can also be a time of increased work stress, deadlines and conflict.

The lead into Christmas and the New Year with carols playing on loop in shopping centres, neighbourhood lights and garden displays and invitations to parties can be a constant reminder of the season and add pressure to be jolly when someone might not feel that way. Instead of feeling festive, happy and loved, people might feel lonely, be grieving, sad, nostalgic, frustrated or stressed. 

By giving the gift of conversation you can make a difference and help someone better manage the ups and downs of the holiday season.

Make the time :

Think about the people in your world who may be struggling and make time to check in with them. You might start with a text, send them a card, tee up a walk, call them on the phone or drop by for a visit. Even if you are not sure exactly what to say, the simple act of asking how they are and listening while they talk will let them know you care.

Acknowledge it :

Let them know it’s OK to feel overwhelmed, sad or stressed at this time of the year. Allow them to pause and reflect on their emotions. Acknowledging what they are feeling, physically and mentally, can help them manage the intensity of the emotion they might be feeling. 

Be gentle :

If someone doesn’t feel able to celebrate in the same way as they have in the past, give them space to set boundaries or adapt their routine or put their routine on hold for the year. Support them if they tell you they need some time for themselves this year. Instead of celebrating they might like to spend time volunteering to help others, visiting a favourite place or connecting with others in a similar situation.

Old traditions and new traditions :

Established traditions of the season might cause sadness if someone is grieving, can’t be with loved ones or is financially stretched. If old traditions no longer bring joy perhaps think about new traditions you can set up to mark the season. 

For those who are grieving, talk to them about how they would like to include their loved one in the season. They might want to set a place at the table, display a special ornament, donate a gift in their honour or decorate their final resting place.

If loved ones are separated by distance you can use technology to help them be a part of the day, adapt your traditions to the circumstances or perhaps plan another celebration for when everyone can be together.

If finances are tight, it is worth remembering that our time is a special gift for those we care about. You can also organise Kris Kringle challenges that don't involve shopping (make your own, perform a song, or gift your time to help with a project or go for a walk), host a pot luck dinner or plan a celebration with a focus on games and activities rather than opening presents.

Offer practical support :

If someone isn’t ready to talk, think about what practical support you can provide. Whether it is making a cuppa, helping with childcare or cooking a meal, small gestures can be comforting for those finding the season difficult.

It’s also worth reminding them phone services such as Lifeline and BeyondBlue operate 24/7 over the holiday period if they need a listening ear.

Thank you for asking R U OK? and giving the Gift of Conversation this Christmas – you are making a difference.

If you or someone you know needs some extra support during the holiday season, and all year round, visit our directory of national support and services here . For support at any time of day or night, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Supporting someone experiencing financial hardship

Sun, 16 Oct 2022 02:47:49 GMT

Money problems can happen to anyone and financial stress is something most of us will experience at some stage in our life. Here's how you can support someone who is finding it difficult to make ends meet.

Money worries can sometimes be caused by planned life changes like buying a new home or welcoming a new member of the family. Other times it might be due to circumstances outside our control which is what we've seen during the pandemic when job losses, reduced work hours and business closures left many in financial stress.

The National Debt Helpline is a government-funded service that provides financial counselling to anyone struggling with debt and in the 2020-2021 financial year the Helpline received more than 100 thousand calls for free , confidential and independent advice.

Financial pressures can have a negative impact on our wellbeing, increase stress and anxiety, affect our relationships and contribute to people withdrawing from those around them.

Deb Shroot , a financial counsellor for the National Debt Helplin e , chatted to R U OK? about some of the things we can do to support people who might be struggling with finances.

Deb, what are some of the current financial challenges people are facing?

We see people experiencing a range of financial difficulties. We speak to people who are in chronic poverty and have been struggling their whole lives. It could be because they have a long-term illness, or they can't get work, or they have a disability. We also work with people who have had a change in circumstances. They may have lost their job, had an unexpected separation or divorce, be experiencing family violence, they or someone in the family have fallen ill or someone may have passed away. That change in circumstance can put pressure on their finances.

We see people who have a lot of debt and others with a small level of debt. They may have been coping fine with this but they may have had their work hours reduced or had to go on government benefits because of pandemic and because they don't have enough resources they are struggling to repay their loan amounts.

If someone loses their job you would expect they might struggle financially but in other circumstances it might not be clear.

If someone loses their job you would expect they might struggle financially but in other circumstances it might not be clear. What are the signs people should look for that indicate someone is experiencing financial hardship?

Look out for changes in behaviour. It might be they’re declining to go out for dinner and suggesting a cheaper alternative. Perhaps they’re withdrawing their children from extracurricular activities or changing from a private to a public school. Moving house is another one. Of course, that’s not to say these things are always causes for concern. Other things to look out for are people not opening emails, not going to their letterbox or not opening bills.

The issue is that we tend not to talk about finances. There seems to be this shame associated with not making ends meet, not having enough money, not being able to provide what you want for your family. So a lot of people delay seeking help and the longer you delay seeking help, the more severe it can become, and the harder it can be to get out of it. But there are always options.

How can people meaningfully offer support without seeming nosey or prying?

If you’re having that conversation with someone, you might find they don’t open up to you straight away or they don’t want to chat specifics, and that’s fine. Respect their privacy. But you can keep communicating and ask them if it’s OK to talk about things. “Is this something you want to chat about?”, “I care about you and I am here to listen”.

You aren’t there to fix their financial problems, simply listening to them can make a huge difference. You might be tempted to give financial advice, but as well-meaning as people might be, you aren’t an expert and can end up doing more harm than good. You’re better off connecting them with an expert and being there to support them, rather than trying to do things for them. You could start with something like: “Did you know there is a government funded service called the National Debt Helpline, that has trained financial counsellors? They offer free, confidential and independent advice. Is that something you think you might be interested in?”.

What have you noticed since the pandemic started? Are more people being having financial difficulties?

What we’ve seen is there are people who have always been employed or always had enough money who are now struggling and need support due to changes in their circumstances. It can be really challenging for these people, so having friends and family around them, to support and listen to them, as well as connect them with a service, can be so important.

If I want to help someone I know is struggling , what services are available?

The National Debt Helpline website has information about different products, what to do if you’re in financial hardship and a lot of other resources.

The phone line is available Monday to Friday, 9:30am-4:30pm on 1800 007 007 . It’s a free and confidential service where trained financial counsellors can outline different options of what someone can and can’t do, let them know their legal rights and potentially refer them to a more appropriate service.

There is also a live chat function on the website if people aren’t comfortable speaking on the phone. We also offer general advice to people who are calling on behalf of someone they are worried about. We can suggest some ways they can support that person.

If you or someone you know needs some extra support , visit our directory of national support and services here . For support at any time of day or night, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Looking after yourself and supporting others this Mental Health Month

Wed, 05 Oct 2022 00:56:43 GMT

It’s Mental Health Month. Here’s what you can do to look after your mental health and wellbeing, while supporting those who might be struggling.

October is World Mental Health Month and a reminder for everyone to look after our own mental health and wellbeing.

It’s also a good opportunity to look out for those who might be struggling with life and to lend our support, with the theme this year being: Awareness. Belonging. Connection.

1 in 5 Australians are affected by mental illness annually (ABS, National Study of Mental Health and Wellbeing, 2022) , but the truth is that we all face challenges from time to time. These can include; relationship difficulties, stress, financial challenges, periods of major change at work or home, loss, grief and health issues.

People won’t always tell you if something’s troubling them, so it’s important that we all make asking, ‘are you OK?’ a part of our everyday relationships with friends, family, teammates and colleagues.

Did you know that crisis lines are available to everyone? Watch the video below to see how you can access help services for guidance and tips on supporting others.

R U OK? CEO Katherine Newton says you don’t have to be an expert to support someone you care about. Showing them that you care by checking in can make a massive difference for them, not just in October, but any day it’s needed.

“This Mental Health Month, pause and consider how you connect with those who are experiencing a mental health condition, or finding things tough, Ms Newtown said.

“Are you worried you’ll say the wrong thing? Are you thinking that it’s not your place to ask how they’re feeling at the moment? Are you hesitant that you might not know how to help them?

“These thoughts are common, however try flipping those thoughts and think about how challenging it may be for them to trust and share.

“If you come from a heartfelt place and put any pre-conceived ideas to one side - you can help someone feel seen, heard and supported.

“We all want to know someone has got our back. This Mental Health Month, let someone know they belong in your team.”

We all want to support those we care, but to do that we have to look after ourselves too. Keep up wellbeing activities and the things that bring you joy. These might include:

Getting out in nature
Exercising
Practising good sleeping and eating habits
Taking a break from scrolling on social media
Catching up with friends and family

If you aren’t in the right headspace to support someone, that’s OK. Perhaps find someone who is better placed to. If you are ready to lend your support, here’s what you can this Mental Health Month, and every day.

Ask R U OK? Pick a time and a place that is comfortable for you both. Be relaxed and friendly in your approach. If they don’t want to talk, let them know you are there for them when they are ready, or ask if there is someone else they’ve be more comfortable talking to.
Listen with an open mind. Don’t interrupt or try to solve their problems. Encourage them to explain what they are feeling and experiencing.
Encourage them to take action. It could be accessing professional support or doing something they enjoy to lighten the load, even better if you can do it together. Asked what they’ve done in the past that has helped or what things bring them joy.
Check In - don’t just leave the conversation there. Instead, organise to catch up again. Ask them how they’re feeling and if they’ve found ways to better manage their situation. If they haven’t done anything, be encouraging and remind them you’re always there if they need a chat.

You can find more tips at our How to Ask page and access Mental Health Australia resources for Mental Health Month here .

If you or someone you know is doing it tough, Lifeline is available 24/7 on 13 11 14 and you can find other services and supports here .

You don't need to be an expert to lend support in the workplace

Thu, 01 Sep 2022 01:38:40 GMT

You're concerned about a colleague but don't know what to say. Perhaps your workmate has told you they're not OK. You don't need to be an expert to help them. We've all got what it takes to support others in the workplace.

Our working lives have changed dramatically over the last couple of years.

For many Australians, 2021 was about working remotely and coping with isolation and other impacts of the pandemic. Now a lot of us find ourselves in hybrid home-office situations. This has brought fresh challenges at work, on top of the regular day-to-day stresses we all encounter.

Debra Brodowski is the National Manager of Psychological Services at the Centre for Corporate Health.

With R U OK?Day (Thursday 8 September 2022) around the corner, we chatted with Debra to gain an understanding of the challenges people are facing in the workplace and what we can all to do support our colleagues.

Debra, thanks for joining us. What are some of the things people are struggling with right now in the workplace?

For a lot of people it’s about balancing hybrid home-office work. You might have asked yourself questions like, ‘how do I know when do I come into the office?’, ‘am I connecting with people in the office when do I work remotely?’, what are the expectations placed on me?’ or ‘how do I switch off when I’m at home?’.

There’s the pressures that come with everyday life such as health issues, financial pressures, cost of living increases and the impact of natural disasters, like the unprecedented rain we’ve seen on the east coast of Australia this year.

What we're seeing is levels of anxiety on the rise at the moment, because there's just so much people have to still anticipate and respond to and they're exhausted. Getting up, getting out and trying to do a good job is harder than ever.

That’s certainly a lot to deal with. How can we support people we work with who might be experiencing these things or are facing other challenges?

Checking in and asking ‘are you OK?’ is a great place to start. The R U OK?Day message this year is that no qualifications are required to ask the question. People can make a powerful and positive difference to someone who's struggling or might not be OK. And they can do it in real time, rather than someone having to wait for a health professional to get that support.

When we check in with friends, family members, peers or people in your team, that's immediate support and it allows the individual to know that they’re not alone, they’re safe with you and that you actually care.

It doesn’t always have to be an R U OK? conversation. Just checking in with colleagues, asking them how they’ve been and what they’ve been up to can open the door for them to talk about what’s going and what they might be struggling with.

To get involved in R U OK?Day 2022 and access resources, tips and ideas to help you drive genuine change in your workplace, school and community visit click here .

What if I’ve asked and a colleague tells me they are not OK? I’m obviously no expert, but what can I do to help that person?

Listening without judgement is one of the best things you can do for them. In terms of what you can say, you can try some of the following, depending on what they've told you.

What supports do you have in place at the moment?’
Have you found anything before that has helped you manage this?
Do you have an EAP (Employee Assistance Program). If so, let’s reach out and book an appointment.
Do you have a psychologist or a psychiatrist, or a GP you can talk to? And if not, is there one we can find in your area?

What about workplaces and teams? Are there any initiatives that promote wellbeing and looking out for each other?

In the hybrid working world, anchor days, where your team are all in the office, are great. They stop people feeling like they’re a ship sailing out at sea, and you can organise coffee or lunch catch-ups together. That can really help wellbeing and connection.

The buddy system is also quite common. I hear leaders often say they’ve got a big team and find it hard to check in with everyone. The buddy system can allow that and encourages connection. You can ask your buddy, “how are you going this week? what's working well, what are you finding challenging?”.

Teams can also have wellbeing goals. Meetings are often focused on KPIs and tasks, and rightly so, but you can also set wellbeing goals. “How's everyone switching off? What did people do on the weekend? Did anyone play some sport? Did anyone go out for a walk?” It gives peers and leaders a chance to notice changes in behaviour and privately reach out and ask someone if they’re OK if they're worried.

DEB’S TOP TIPS TO SUPPORT COLLEAGUES

Look out for changes in peoples’ behaviour. If they don't seem themselves, reach out and ask if they’re OK.
Adopt wellbeing strategies you can practice in your workplace and with your team.
Make connecting and asking R U OK? a part of your work relationships.
Practice self-care. You can't support others if you aren’t looking after yourself.
Understand your role as a connector to professional support for someone who needs it.

If you or someone you know needs some extra support, visit our directory of national support and services  here . For support at any time of day or night, call Lifeline   on 13 11 14.

How to support someone on Father's Day

Wed, 31 Aug 2022 22:31:33 GMT

For many, Father's Day is a moment to celebrate the dads and father figures who have made an impact on our lives. But for some, it can be a tough day. Grief, divorce or separation, relationship issues, absence, painful or unresolved feelings are just a few of the things that can make this a difficult day.

This year’s Father’s Day might be a difficult time for even more Australians as physical distancing measures and self-isolation guidelines may make spending time with family difficult, or not possible, for many Australians.

If you know Father's Day is going to bring up tough emotions for yourself, a friend or a loved one, it can help to talk about it and have a self-care plan in place.

This Father’s Day keep an eye out for the signs that could indicate someone is finding it tough or might need some extra support.

What are the signs someone might be having a tough time this Father's Day? Ask yourself,

Do they seem:

Moody?

Unable to switch off?
Concerned about the future?
Concerned they're a burden?
Lonely or lacking self-esteem?
Concerned they're trapped or in pain?

Are they:

Experiencing mood swings?
Becoming withdrawn?
Changing their online behaviour?
Losing interest in what they used to love?
Unable to concentrate?
Less interested in their appearance and personal hygiene?
Behaving recklessly?

Are they experiencing:

Relationship issues?
Major health issues?
Constant stress?
Financial difficulty?
The loss of someone or something they care about?

If you feel like something's not quite the same with someone you know - trust that gut instinct and take the time to ask them "Are you OK?". By reaching out to anyone you think might be struggling with the day, you can show them they're supported and encourage them to access help if it's needed.

Make time for a meaningful conversation

You don't need to be an expert to reach out to someone and ask R U OK? – just a good friend and a great listener. If you know that someone is likely to struggle on Father's Day, or you have a gut feeling that something is not right, start a conversation and let them know you're there for them.

How to ask R U OK?

Follow our four steps to have a conversation that could change a life but remember if the conversation is too big for you to take on alone, contact a professional through the 'Find Help' page on the R U OK? website.

Step 1: Ask R U OK?

Be relaxed, friendly and concerned in your approach.
Help them open up by asking questions like "How are you going?" or "What's been happening?"
Mention specific things that have made you concerned for them, like "You seem less chatty than usual. How are you going?"

Step 2: Listen without judgement

Take what they say seriously and don't interrupt or rush the conversation.
Don't judge their experiences or reactions but acknowledge that things seem tough for them.
If they need time to think, sit patiently with the silence.
Encourage them to explain: "How are you feeling about that?" or "How long have you felt that way?"
Show that you've listened by repeating back what you've heard (in your own words) and ask if you have understood them properly.

Step 3: Encourage action

Ask: "What have you done in the past to manage similar situations?"
Ask: "How would you like me to support you?"
Ask: "What's something you can do for yourself right now? Something enjoyable or relaxing?"
You could say: "When I was going through a difficult time, I tried this... You might find it useful too."
If they've been feeling down for more than two weeks, encourage them to see a health professional. You could say, "It might be useful to link in with someone who can support you. I'm happy to assist you in finding the right person to talk to."
Be positive about the role of professionals in getting through tough times.

Step 4: Check in

Pop a reminder in your diary to call them in a couple of weeks. If they're struggling, follow up with them sooner.
You could say: "I've been thinking of you and wanted to know how you've been going since we last chatted."
Ask if they've found a better way to manage the situation. If they haven't done anything, don't judge them. They might just need someone to listen to them for the moment.
Stay in touch and be there for them. Genuine care and concern can make a real difference.

Help in a crisis

If you or a loved one need support, Lifeline can provide a listening ear and telephone crisis support 24/7 on 13 11 14.

You can find other support services at www.ruok.org.au/findhelp

You're already qualified to ask R U OK?

Wed, 27 Jul 2022 02:53:42 GMT

New R U OK? research has found that four in ten Australians feel asking someone ‘are you OK?’ is a conversation better had with an expert. Dr. Grant Blashki, a practising GP and Lead Clinical Advisor for Beyond Blue, says that's not the case and that we all can play a role in supporting those we care about.

R U OK?Day is Thursday September 8 and the message this year is: Ask R U OK? No qualifications needed.

It comes following new R U OK? research 1 that found that four in ten Australians feel asking someone ‘are you OK?’ is a conversation better had with an expert.

[ 1] fiftyfive5 R U OK?Day Research 2022

We want everyone to know that you already have what it takes to support family, friends and colleagues and that you don’t need to be an expert to have an R U OK? conversation.

Listening and giving someone your time might be just what they need to help them through a difficult period.

Dr. Grant Blashki has been a practising GP for 25 years and is the Lead Clinical Advisor for Beyond Blue. We spoke to Dr Blashki about checking in with those we care about and why you don’t need to be an expert to ask R U OK?

“People don’t ask R U OK? because they’re worried about the answer and they won’t know how to respond if someone tells them they aren’t OK," he said. You don’t have to be a mental health expert, you’re just opening up the conversation and being there to listen."

“If someone does open up, it’s OK to say to them, ‘thanks for talking about that with me, I'm not really sure what we should do, but let's look at it together', and, ‘you know 'I'm here to help'.

“Remember, you don't have to be a psychologist, you don't have to solve someone’s problem, you don't have to jump in with your own anecdotes. Just sit back and listen.

“The evidence shows that asking people about a mental health issue, or even if they've been thinking about harming themselves, it doesn't put the idea in their mind and it doesn't make them feel worse. Most people are really quite relieved to talk to someone.”

To get involved in R U OK?Day 2022 and access resources, tips and ideas to help you drive genuine change in your workplace, school and community visit click here.

If someone’s not ready to open up yet, that’s OK. Dr Blashki says you’ve already taken the first steps of supporting them by checking in and asking R U OK?

“You don't have to push them. You've opened the door and they might come back to you if they want to. They know that you care, they know that you're interested, and so that in itself is really valuable,” he said.

The work of health professionals is vital, and their value cannot be underestimated. But what we can all do is be connectors to professional support when it’s needed.

“If someone needs help, you could either direct them initially to Beyond Blue or Lifeline , if it's a more urgent situation,” he said.,

“People can also go to any GP and get a mental health plan . We can be that link, the person that says, 'hey, how about I book in the GP for you?', 'how about we give Beyond Blue a call?', and get things started'.”

Everyone experiences life’s ups and downs and in recent times there has been a lot to cope with. Natural disasters, the pandemic, world conflicts and cost of living increases have added additional pressure and emotional strain for many.

With so much going on, your support and care can make a real difference to someone struggling. That’s something we are all already qualified to do.

“In any one year in Australia, about two million people experience an anxiety disorder and about one million experience depression, “Dr Blashki said.

"Apart from that, there's a whole lot of people who are stressed. They don’t have a mental health condition but they're really sad about something going on in their life or really worried about something.

"If you think about your family, friends and work colleagues, you will know people who are very stressed or experience a mental health condition. Everyone should feel qualified, everyone should feel like 'this is something I can ask'.

"Your basic humanity is all you need."

If you or someone you know needs some extra support, visit our directory of national support and services  here. For support at any time of day or night, call  Lifeline   on 13 11 14.

It took me being asked R U OK? to realise I wasn't

Thu, 14 Jul 2022 01:23:18 GMT

Lachlan shares how the support of his friends, and being asked R U OK?, changed his life.

Ask R U OK? No Qualifications Needed

Wed, 13 Jul 2022 02:29:48 GMT

R U OK? has launched ‘Ask R U OK? No qualifications needed’ , to remind Australians they already have what it takes to support their family, friends and colleagues.

‘Ask R U OK? No qualifications needed’ comes in response to new research [1] which found four in ten Australians feel asking someone ‘are you OK?’ is a conversation better had with an expert.

[ 1] fiftyfive5 R U OK?Day Research 2022

“Everyone experiences life’s ups and downs and in recent times there has been a lot to cope with ,” said R U OK? CEO, Katherine Newton.

“Natural disasters, the pandemic, world conflicts and cost of living increases have added additional pressure and emotional strain for many, and that’s not confined to one day of the year.

“We want to reassure Australians that you don’t need to be an expert to have an R U OK? conversation with someone in your world who might be struggling. Listening and giving someone your time might be just what they need to help them through a difficult period.”

This is confirmed by the research which found that when authentic, genuine R U OK? conversations are happening, more than 80% of people say they are making a positive difference.

“The work of health professionals is vital, and their value cannot be underestimated, however by having regular, meaningful conversations, we can help the people we care about feel supported before they are in crisis and, if that conversation does get too big for us, we can guide them to seek professional help,” said Ms Newton.

The call comes eight weeks out from R U OK?Day , Thursday 8 September, a National Day of Action and a reminder that every day is a day to check in with your friends, family and colleagues.

“I think it’s a message everyone can relate to because we all think we’re experts in a range of things so why be reluctant when this is something we can actually do,” said Ms Newton.

“For example, if you feel qualified to second guess the referee from the comfort of your armchair, you can ask a mate R U OK? No qualifications needed. If you feel qualified to give fashion advice while lounging in your old ‘trackies’, you can ask your friend R U OK? No qualifications needed, or, if you feel qualified to assemble a flat pack desk straight out of the box without the instructions, you can ask your colleague R U OK? No qualifications needed.”

R U OK? has released a range of FREE resources, including guides, posters, social media tiles, tips and ideas to help Australians know when and how to have an R U OK? conversation. Download the free resources including the ‘Guide to Supporting R U OK?Day’ here.

For support at any time of day or night, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

How you can lend support in times of uncertainty

Wed, 29 Jun 2022 06:55:31 GMT

We all go through life's ups and downs and many Australians continue to face challenges. You can be the one that makes a difference through the power of a genuine, meaningful conversation with someone you know who might be struggling.

It’s normal to feel a range of emotions in challenging times. It may be there is added stress, or people might feel fearful, sad, disappointed, frustrated or anxious. Put simply, it’s normal to not feel OK when there are things going on in the world around us that are out of our control.

That’s why it’s important we stay connected, reach out to our friends, family and co-workers and genuinely ask, “are you OK?”. During times of uncertainty or when people are isolated from others, contact from others and feeling connected can really help.

We’ve put together a list of you can stay connected with the people in your world subject, of course, to any restrictions that might in place in your local area.

Find a way to ask, R U OK?  

Where it’s safe to do so, you can still connect face-to-face. Why not organise to catch up with someone and ask them how they’re doing? If that’s not an option you could give them a call, send them a message or set up a video call. Remember, if you know people that live alone, who are in isolation, or could be doing it tough, a friendly message from you can show them they’re supported, cared for and they have someone ready to listen. Find a way to ask, “are you OK?”. It could change a life.   You can find more conversation tips on our How to Ask page.

Exercise together

Go for a walk or run with friends, head down to the park to kick a footy together (remember to follow the COVID-safe guidelines), get a round of golf in with that friend you’ve been meaning to catch up with for ages or dust off your tennis racket and head down to the local courts. If you can’t get outside together, consider what you can do over a video call or online. Getting moving on screen together is a great way to connect and get the endorphins and conversation flowing. 

Enjoy a dinner date  or Takeaway Together

Enjoy a sit-down meal in a local restaurant or café or if that's not possible plan a Takeaway Together . You can take advantage of the great takeaway and delivery deals on offer and share a meal at home or online if you can't be with your dinner date in person. If someone you know is isolating you could do a Covid-safe meal drop off and set up a video chat to enjoy culinary delights and chatter. It’s not just dinner, either. Friday after-work bonding, midweek trivia, movie nights and Sunday family dinner can all be moved online if you can't catch up in person.

Care package drop-off

Is someone in your neighbourhood network isolating or ill at home? Check in and ask if there's anything they need. If you are able perhaps offer to do a grocery shop for them with a COVID-safe drop off or run an errand they might not be able to do themselves. Ask if there is anything else that you can help with that they’re unable to get to whilst they are in isolation. You could even put together a small care package or lend them some puzzles or books to help them pass the time.

Help them connect to others

Sometimes people won't be comfortable talking to you and that's OK. They might want to talk with someone else or connect with a support service for advice.

eFriend is a free service that service that allows people who are feeling low, lonely or isolated to virtually connect via video, phone or online chat with peer workers who can offer insight, advice or empathise from their own lived experience. 

If you or someone you know needs some extra support , visit our directory of national support and services here . For support at any time of day or night, call Lifeline on 13 11 14. The Beyond Blue Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing and Support Service is available  here  and on 1800 512 348.

Driving Conversations in the Road Transport, Warehousing and Logistics Industries

Tue, 17 May 2022 04:26:45 GMT

R U OK? and Healthy Heads in Truck & Sheds have teamed up to ensure people in the road transport, warehousing and logistics industries know when and how to meaningfully connect and genuinely ask, “are you OK?”

Today, 17 May, is ‘R U OK? in Trucks & Sheds Day’, a day of action to start driving conversations for ongoing cultural change and to shine a light on the need to have these conversations, every day of the year.

Organisations across the country will hold workplace events to encourage connection amongst colleagues and provide free resources on how to drive a conversation if they’re worried a workmate might be struggling.

Katherine Newton, CEO, R U OK? said, “Life’s ups and downs happen to us all, but those working in the road transport, warehousing and logistics industries face some unique challenges including tight deadlines, long hours, shift work and isolation. One thing we can all do is drive conversations with workmates who might be doing it tough, helping them feel connected and supported at work and in their personal lives.”

"If you’re prepared to talk to a workmate about how they’re really feeling, it could help someone who is struggling long before they’re in crisis”.

Naomi Frauenfelder, CEO HHTS said, “a key ambition of the Foundation is to continually raise mental health awareness among truck drivers, distribution centre and warehouse staff members. By joining forces with R U OK? our goal is to make sure people in the sector have the tools to drive conversations that could change, or even, save a life.”

“To achieve this goal, we have worked with R U OK? to create ‘a practical guide to asking ‘’are you OK?’’ that is tailored to the sector. It provides the tools to spot the signs that someone might be doing it tough and four simple steps to asking, “are you okay?”, right through to how to find support services.” Ms Frauenfelder said.

"Show your support and ask ‘are you OK?’ today and every time you spot the signs a workmate might be struggling. Together, as an industry we can drive conversations that make a real difference.”

Paul Graham, Chief Executive Officer and Managing Director of Australia Post, said the COVID pandemic impacted those in road transport, warehousing and logistics industries, highlighting the need to check in with those around us.

"We all had our challenges the last few years, but for those working in the road transport, warehousing and logistics industries, those challenges hit a little differently," he said.

"When flights were grounded across the country, our drivers, our posties, the folks driving the road trains or manning the Post Offices became a lifeline for so many businesses and individuals across the country. Their resilience was tested every day.

"We know that as an industry, we can and must do better in how we look after the mental health and wellbeing of our people. "

Find out more and download free resources including ‘A practical guide to asking, “are you OK?’’ here .

Staff and students encouraged to check in and ask R U OK?

Tue, 03 May 2022 06:36:17 GMT

We spoke to Milton Public School about their R U OK?Day activities and how staff and students learnt about looking after themselves and checking in with those around them.

During August 2021, Milton public school used R U OK?Day to involve staff and students in conversations about mental health and wellbeing. Liz Ford, Head of Staff Wellbeing, explained the activities they organised and the impact of the day on the whole school community.

Can you tell us a little bit about your school and the R U OK? event you held?

The event was Milton Public School's R U OK?Day, which we held in the middle of Term 3, during our Wellbeing Week. There were multiple events going on and staff had no meetings, allowing them more personal time.

Why did you decide to hold the event?

The school has been reviewing its wellbeing policies, mostly around students, but we felt staff also needed to be involved. Our aims of the day were pretty simple:

Create community awareness of mental health and R U OK?Day
Teach students the signs to look out for if someone is struggling, and what to do if friends are not OK

What events did you organise for staff?

We wanted to provide opportunities for staff to concentrate on their wellbeing. We ran a free yoga class in the morning and provided a free coffee van for staff to access drinks of their choice. Staff also had extra release time away from their classes so they could do their own work or meet colleagues for a cuppa and chat.

To encourage conversations, staff shared photos of themselves partaking in their wellbeing activities (going to the gym, enjoying dinner, horse riding, surfing etc) on the staffroom noticeboard. They also shared their wellbeing strategies, through interviews we conducted asking them how they deal with stress at school and their tips for others.

What about the students? What did R U OK?Day look like for them?

Students were encouraged to wear yellow and orange, which got everyone talking in classrooms. Teachers conducted lessons accessed via the R U OK? Education websit e . Students also watched films which explored human emotions to help start conversations about helping friends.

Can you tell us about the impact of this event on the whole school community?

Our Wellbeing Week gave staff and students a chance to reflect on their wellbeing and that of their colleagues and fellow students. Students learnt the R U OK? message, how to be a good friend and what they could say or do if they spotted the signs someone was struggling. It created awareness in the school and local community around mental health and R U OK?Day, while staff had the opportunity to relax and check in with each other.

What were the highlights of the event?

Staff absolutely loved the yoga, so much so that we've decided to continue doing it once-a-week moving forward. Staff relayed that there were some great conversations in their classrooms and the students loved the R U OK? lessons and dressing up in yellow and orange. Staff have fed back what they enjoyed, what they need and what they want to do for R U OK?Day in 2022.

Thanks for sharing with us.

EDUCATOR RESOURCES

For students, learning how to support their peers and talk about how they feel is an important life lesson, so where better to start than in the classroom? These resources for primary, secondary and tertiary educators and institutions will help students everywhere have an R U OK? conversation.

Victorian school spreads R U OK? message year-round

Tue, 12 Apr 2022 05:55:25 GMT

Brookside College has been taking part in R U OK?Day for years. Despite the pandemic, their 2021 events were bigger than ever.

Tell us a little bit about your school, Brookside College.

Brookside P-9 College is based in Caroline Springs, Victoria. We have over 1,200 students and the student wellbeing team is a team of four clinicians. We recognise R U Ok?Day every year, and turn it into a week of activities for the students and include the staff members.

What did you do for R U OK?Day in 2021?

Because of the pandemic, we were not able to do our usual R U OK?Day activities. Instead we got a local artist (Tim Sta Ana) to design and paint a wall mural for the school. The words on the mural were contributed by every year level . They included messages like, "be strong", "be caring", "keep calm" and "get moving". We wanted a constant reminder for the students, staff and school community to continue asking, "are you OK?", all year round.

What did the staff and students do to support the day and encourage meaningful conversations?

We had a whole school project titled “R U Ok? Day, Everyday”. Students created pieces of artwork that expressed messages of seeking help, words of encouragement and positive affirmations. The idea was for students to make a whole-school contribution to promoting positive mental health. These artworks are displayed in our front office and winners were chosen and provided prizes courtesy of Nestle.

There were also presentations hosted by Headspace Schools and The Wellbeing Team at Brookside that role-played students in conversations about how they would notice the signs someone might be struggling and how to have a conversation with that person. Students took part in daily wellbeing activities that addressed the four steps of an R U OK? conversation (Ask, Listen, Encourage Action, Check In), as well as resilience building.

Our large lunchtime celebration this year included public speakers from the No Bull group to engage students in music and games. Melton Young Communities also came along to help with the student engagement. There were multiple R U OK? giveaways provided to students (bananas, stickers, wristbands, erasers, fidget toys, etc.). There was also a photo-booth, with the printed film being R U OK?-themed. At recess we had Indigenous musical artist, Brett Lee, perform for the students.

And what about staff? How were they involved?

We wanted to ensure that staff were also taken care of, and are aware of the supportive culture that the school and the Wellbeing Team encourage. We provided a staff breakfast hosted by our wellbeing team and our food technology team and an afternoon tea hosted by our wellbeing team and our Hands on Learning Team (this involved students part of the Hands on Learning program). There was also a staff lunch hosted through the Asylum Seeker Resource Centre (ASRC), which was generously sponsored by the Caroline Springs Lions Club and District. These events provided an opportunity for staff to feel supported, and created environments to share meals and to check in with one another. We also provide EAP (Employee Assistance Program) cards yearly.

That all sounds amazing! Why does the R U OK?Day message mean so much to the staff and students at Brookside College?

Our R U OK?Day gets bigger every year. Students and staff members always look forward to this time of the year to recognise this great cause. We’ve noticed that it has built a positive mental health culture within the school. It continues to promote seeking support and encouraging others to check-in with their friends. Students are aware of the message of R U OK?Day and can identify these steps. Overall, it has improved the school community's awareness of mental health, from staff, students and parents/carers. It has increased the school community’s capacity to recognise people who may be needing support as well as how to approach situations related to this.

Thanks, we can't wait to hear what you have planned for 2022!

EDUCATOR RESOURCES

Make staying connected part of your routine

Tue, 22 Mar 2022 05:47:57 GMT

R U OK? is encouraging everyone to stay connected as we all navigate the challenges of 2022.

There’s a lot going on right now, both at home and abroad, that we can’t control. In these times it’s normal to experience feelings of hopelessness, uncertainty or to feel overwhelmed. One thing we can control, however, is reaching out to our friends, family and colleagues to check in with one another and stay connected.

R U OK? CEO, Katherine Newton, says recent events have affected everyone in some way and we all need to actively seek ways to connect, and in some cases reconnect, with those in our world who might be struggling.

“In the past weeks, months and years, we’ve seen some of the best examples of how caring our community can be and we need to hold on to that because that sense of genuine care and concern can be life-changing for those grappling with the impact of recent events," said Ms Newton.

“Social connection is critical in ensuring we all get through these times together. We want those who are well and able to make it part of their routine to reach out and start a conversation.

“All of us can benefit from chatting things out, sharing what’s happening in our worlds and perhaps gaining some new perspectives. Connecting with someone can help them feel more grounded amidst what might feel like chaos and remind them that you’re there to listen and support where needed.

Our research shows that 72% of people who have spoken to someone about what's been troubling them felt better about themselves and their situation. What better reason to keep an eye out for those we care about and genuinely reach out when we know there is a big life event happening or signs of struggle. ”

Here are some ways to build connection into your routine...

Create a list:  Think about who in your world, personal or professional, near or far who might be struggling.

Dedicate the time:  Make asking, "are you OK?" part of your routine.

Choose your channel:  Communicate in a way that works for you both: make a phone call, send an SMS, video call, email or, if you can meet in person you might want to go for a walk together, chat over the fence or catch up for a cuppa.

Rachel Clements, Director of Psychological Services, Centre for Corporate Health is an R U OK? Ambassador and says staying connected can help us transition through the phases. 

"If you notice a change in someone don’t brush it aside or avoid the conversation because you aren’t sure what to say. Reaching out early can stop small things from becoming bigger issues," said Ms Clements.

“It’s important we all do what we can to support our friends, family and colleagues to manage the ups and downs that life is throwing at us.”

“We accept there are things people can’t do but let’s focus on what we can do. We can make every day the day to ask, ‘are you okay?’. We can be a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on,” said Ms Newton. “Let’s make time to look out for one another, be kind and #StayConnected.”

If you need guidance on how to support someone, visit our How to Ask page.

If you or someone you know needs some extra support, visit our directory of national support and services  here. For support at any time of day or night, call  Lifeline  on 13 11 14.

How to check in with family and friends who work in emergency services

Tue, 08 Mar 2022 21:45:18 GMT

We've gone 'Beyond the Uniform' to uncover stories from those who work in emergency services, as well as practical tips for their family, friends and colleagues to recognise the signs that someone may be struggling and to offer their support.

The women who make asking R U OK? a part of their every day

Tue, 08 Mar 2022 01:12:15 GMT

We asked our community to tell us about the women that have made a difference in their life and why. Here’s what they had to say.

Today, March 8, is International Women's Day. It's a day to celebrate all women, everywhere, for what they've achieved in the world and how they've changed our lives.

We asked our community to share with us the women in their lives who are always there to ask, "are you OK?", and lend a listening ear. Here's what you told us.

My bestie for sure! Always looks me right in the eyes and asks, 'how are you doing?'. And I know she wants to hear the answer - Chloe
My wife and best friend ever - Marty
My incredible work-wife. She's always looking out for me and suggests a coffee and walk if she thinks I'm struggling - Amy
My darling Claire - Rosie
My nan. I know I can always trust her - Lily
My best friend, she has supported me through some of the hardest times in life - Mallory
My sweet sister, always on speed dial! - Kim
My beautiful HR boss. She is so kind to our team, always asking genuinely if we are OK - Kate
My fried. She's always there to talk to when things are tough. I'm lucky to have such a great friend - Joel
My mum! - Diana
Rachel - the sister I picked. 23 years and still always there
My boss and my mum - Anna
My gorgeous wife! She is amazing - Paul

If you or someone you know needs some extra support, visit our directory of national support and services here . For support at any time of day or night, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

A mate's support changed Glenn's life

support@sensis.com.au (Sensis Master) — Mon, 14 Feb 2022 05:33:18 GMT

Glenn shares how the support of a mate helped him realise he wasn't OK and how one conversation changed his entire life.

Building a village to support young people in need

Tue, 01 Feb 2022 03:32:33 GMT

After losing their son to suicide, Pauline and Hilton made it their mission to help empower parents and young people spot the signs someone might be struggling and ask R U OK?

2021 with R U OK?

Thu, 23 Dec 2021 04:28:21 GMT

This year has been tough for many, but it has also highlighted once again the importance of staying connected and being there for one another.

Every day we hear from Australians who share with us the positive impact an R U OK? conversation has had in their life or how by asking 'are you OK?', they've helped someone in their world find support. These stories remind us that a conversation really can change a life.

Our R U OK? in 2021 video highlights some of the wonderful work being done by our community of supporters who are helping us create a world of connection and belonging.

If you or someone you know needs some extra support, visit our directory of national support and services here . For support at any time of day or night, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Asking R U OK? can change a life - in my case it changed two lives

Wed, 27 Oct 2021 01:16:03 GMT

A conversation with a stranger at a pub taught Martin to never make assumptions, but to always ask R U OK?

The #6Bs that are getting blokes talking

support@sensis.com.au (Sensis Master) — Mon, 18 Oct 2021 23:30:49 GMT

Brad explains how a group of blokes sitting around a bonfire, bonding over conversations about life’s ups and downs has spread across Australia.

Anxiety around lockdowns lifting is normal. Here's how you can look after your mental health and support others

Wed, 13 Oct 2021 03:18:42 GMT

If you or people you know are feeling anxious about the idea of returning to school, work, or meeting face-to-face again, you're certainly not alone. It’s entirely normal.

With New South Wales re-opening this week and Victoria and the ACT set to follow, many people are feeling uncertain about the lifting of lockdowns, a return to in-person socialising and yet another major change to our daily lives.

R U OK? spoke to Everymind Director, Dr Jaelea Skehan OAM, about why it's normal to feel this way, how we can manage our own stress and support others who may be feeling the same.

Jaelea, why are some people feeling nervous about lockdowns lifting, is this normal?

Absolutely it is. I'm sure many people are probably thinking that they're the only one experiencing these feelings and are worried while others are posting online how excited they are. But that's not the case. Most of us will be faced with re-learning how to work in an office with others, be comfortable among a crowd, and just talk to people again. Avoidance is one of the strongest drivers of social anxiety. The more we've been held back from socialising and avoiding face-to-face contact, the more anxiety-provoking it can be when we're asked to start engaging with those behaviours again. All of us, to some degree, are going to feel some worries or nervousness about going back into those environments. It may be even more challenging for people living with anxiety, as anxiety can be exacerbated through periods of change, including opening back up. Also, many of us have been quite concerned about the catching and spreading of COVID-19. Just because lockdowns have been lifted, it doesn't mean that some of those worries and anxiety about COVID itself is going to go away.

How can we support someone who is experiencing this anxiety?

The R U OK? message is such an important one, because we know a conversation can make a real difference in helping someone feel less alone and more supported through change. By reaching out to others and asking them how they are, and offering support, we can help make them feel better about how they are feeling and their situation. Following the R U OK? Four Steps can be really helpful. Listen to people's concerns because they will be different for everyone. Don't assume the things you're worried about are the things that somebody else might be worried about, so take the time to really listen. Encourage them to take action. Whether that's engaging with some tips about how they might manage stress while they're transitioning back to previous routines, or it might also mean joining a group chat with others to talk through how they are feeling or accessing some professional support. And keep checking back in. Be a good friend, colleague, family member and listen to what people have to say and make time to check back in, particularly if you’re concerned about somebody.

What about some wellbeing strategies we can adopt and encourage others to try?

Give yourself and others time to adjust to the transition, take it one step at a time. Perhaps start with meeting one friend one-on-one and building up, rather than going straight from lockdown into a group party. Another tip is to try and stay in the present. We can often be really worried about things that might happen in the future, rather than things that are happening right now. Try as much as possible to stay in the moment, what our current worries are and what we might be able to do about them.

All things that are good for our mental health and wellbeing are going to be particularly important for us to add in as we adjust to change. That includes regular exercise, treating sleep like a superpower, doing things we enjoy and connecting with others, whether that's online or face-to-face. The final thing is to reach out and seek support early. A lot of mental health services have online chats and tips on reintegrating back into society and navigating social situations again. So feel free to reach out to these services over the phone but also some of the group chats and online tips on what has worked for other people.

A lot of people have enjoyed doing things online? Does that have to end?

If people have found online interactions positive then there's no reason just because we're opening up that they need to be lost. Consider how to transfer the positives of online environments to face-to-face interactions. Some people really enjoyed the opportunity to have a weekly family or friends video-call catch-up. Thinking about moving that to perhaps a catch up in the park, or even alternating it, one week online, one week face-to-face.

Do you have any tips on how people can set boundaries around seeing people and doing things?

Some people are going to be worried about losing some of the ability to say no, that we got during the pandemic. Remember, it's okay to say no. Consider asking questions like, ‘how many people might be at this gathering you're inviting me to?’, or ‘would there be ways of me catching up with you in a fortnight rather than this week?’. Be open with others and negotiate what you will feel comfortable doing without putting undue pressure on yourself.

People might also be anxious about returning to work or worried about their colleagues. What should they do?

One of the things I encourage people to do is to talk to their workplace about returning to the office and what it might look like for them. Also, let people know what you're concerned about and whether there are hybrid options for some work from the office/on site and some work from home. Be compassionate towards others. Regardless of who people are in the workplace or who people are in your social life, everyone's going to be adjusting, so we should give people the same level of consideration that we hope that they will do to us.

If you or someone you know needs some extra support, visit our directory of national support and services here . For support at any time of day or night, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Find more conversation tips here .

Twitch Plays Support

hello@ruok.org.au — Mon, 06 Sep 2021 23:16:05 GMT

Twitch Australia and New Zealand and Twitch creators are sharing tips and tools to help you support your friends and family online and IRL

The Twitch community has shown time and time again their powerful ability to mobilize around a common goal. Throughout September Twitch creators are showing how we can play the support role online and IRL.

We all face life’s ups and downs – relationship issues, financial difficulty, stress at work and home, grief and loss – and these can be really challenging. Additionally, many Twitch Creators and the wider Twitch Community are impacted by mental illness – and even suicide – at some stage in their lives, be it personally or through a loved one. The support role is crucial in a lot of video games, but we can also play our part in real life. When the people we know online and IRL face these issues, we can make a difference if we reach out, ask R U OK?, listen with an open mind, and help connect them to support.

Twitch Australia and New Zealand is proud to be supporting suicide prevention charity R U OK? ahead of our annual day of action, R U OK?Day (9 September 2021). Twitch creators will be streaming in support of R U OK? and discussing simple steps we can all take to support each other through life’s ups and downs, big and small. Twitch creators will educate and empower the Twitch community with tips and tools you can use to support your friends and family, as well as collaborating on a fundraiser to back the development of important R U OK? resources and health promotion activities.

Get involved

If you or a loved on need immediate support, Lifeline is available 24/7 on 13 11 14. Other Australian and New Zealand supports can be found here.

Want conversation tips? Visit our How to Ask page.

Moments that matter

Sun, 05 Sep 2021 10:40:10 GMT

Megan on the small gestures that can be the difference between someone feeling alone and not.

A simple unexpected question changed my life

Sun, 05 Sep 2021 10:25:11 GMT

Vicki shares how her doctor saw the pain in her eyes, asked her "are you OK?" and really listened. She believes this conversation changed her life.

Roleplay a conversation with a friend

hello@ruok.org.au — Sun, 05 Sep 2021 04:01:38 GMT

Your friend has seemed off lately - time to catch up?

R U OK?Day is Thursday 9 September. This year our message is:

Are they really OK? Ask them today.

To help you ask the people in your world how they're really going we've released an interactive video where you can roleplay an R U OK? conversation.

The scenario: Your friend has seemed off lately - time to catch up? Play the video above to ask her how she's really going.

Want to get involved in R U OK?Day? Use our FREE resources to encourage everyone in your school, workplace and community to think about who in their world might need to be asked "are you OK?"

Find more conversation tips and resources

Roleplay a conversation about grief

hello@ruok.org.au — Sun, 05 Sep 2021 03:53:09 GMT

Your Dad's dog has recently passed away - time to check in?

R U OK?Day is Thursday 9 September. This year our message is:

Are they really OK? Ask them today.

To help you ask the people in your world how they're really going we've released an interactive video where you can roleplay an R U OK? conversation.

The scenario: Your Dad's dog has recently passed away - time to chat in. Play the video above to ask him how he's really going.

Want to get involved in R U OK?Day? Use our FREE resources to encourage everyone in your school, workplace and community to think about who in their world might need to be asked "are you OK?"

Find more conversation tips and resources

Tips for having an R U OK? conversation with neurodivergent people

Tue, 31 Aug 2021 04:32:57 GMT

An R U OK? conversations might look a little different if you’re talking to a neurodivergent person. Here are some helpful tips.

Rachel Worsley and Mathew Farmarkis, co-founders of Neurodiversity Media, who produce accessible information resources for neurodivergent people in the workplace, joined us to talk about having R U OK? conversations with neurodivergent people.

Hi Rachel and Matthew, thanks for speaking to us. When we say neurodivergent people, who are we talking about?

In Neurodiversity Media’s resource library it covers autism, ADHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, struggle coordination movement, dyscalculia (struggle with numbers) and Tourette syndrome.

R U OK? is about supporting those in our world who might be struggling with things, big and small. What are some additional challenges neurodivergent people face that we should be aware of?

Autistic burnout is a big one. The three main features of it being chronic exhaustion, loss of function and reduced tolerance to stimulus.

Can you talk to us about what are some of the signs someone may be experiencing autistic burnout?

A lot of autistic people do feel like we have been just getting through day-to-day life. Getting organised, getting dressed and doing our work can already take such a huge toll on us mentally, even though it's sort of stuff that most people can take for granted. Without having ways to recharge, safe spaces to recharge or permission to go to spaces to recharge, it can bring on that burnout and chronic exhaustion.

That can lead to a loss of function in day-to-day skills - things like getting out of bed or talking even. That happened to me, I didn’t want to talk, I went to non-verbal communication and wanting to write text.

Reduced tolerance to stimulus can be bright lights, lots of noises. Also if you’re being taught to stop stimming (stimming being habits that autistic people may engage in like hand flapping or playing with stuff all the time). Those kind of things may seem weird, but can actually be really helpful for autistic people.

If somebody is normally pretty calm, but they're just sort of withdrawing a bit more and feeling overwhelmed with sensory stuff, then that is a sign that clearly they're going through a difficult period and might need support.

For those wanting to check in on their neurodivergent friends, family and colleagues, how should they approach an R U OK? conversation?

I guess, for autistic people, the main thing is to allow them to be themselves. A lot of the burnout and mental health struggles we face is conforming to society and societal expectations around socialising and that sort of thing. And so just sort of being mindful of that, and providing us that space to recover is really important.

In terms of burnout, helping them and allowing them to decrease sensory overload can really help. Things like not forcing them to make eye contact, being able to indulge in creative habits, like journaling and creative activities. Withdrawing from social activities, is also really helpful. That can be sort of counter intuitive to a lot of mental health advice, but when it comes to autistic burnout, it is actually a legitimate coping strategy for a lot of us.

We’ve been conditioned to just conform to society that we're very much not willing to really speak up or not have the ability to speak up and say we are struggling. That’s why the other person has to really read the signs and say, “actually I think you are struggling, let me take that load off you”.

I think being able to just share your feelings and feeling comfortable and safe to do so is the most important thing. And also being able to physically remove yourself from a situation, so you can just be at a distance from whatever is causing stress or exhaustion. So my tip would be for people to allow and accomodate those things. And the other thing I think is accepting and acknowledging that this can happen for neurodivergent people and it can happen quite easily.

Thanks so much for joining us and providing some really helpful tips and information Rachel and Mathew.

Thanks for having us.

Find more conversation tips here.

If you or someone you know needs some extra support, visit our directory of national support and services here . For support at any time of day or night, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Fostering wellbeing in the workplace

Mon, 23 Aug 2021 05:17:11 GMT

Given the current COVID-19 landscape, it has never been more important to ensure workplaces and their employees are fostering wellbeing and offering support where necessary.

We spoke to workplace wellbeing and suicide prevention organisation, OzHelp for their top six tips for fostering wellbeing while physically distancing.

Check in regularly

Whether you are working remotely or in a socially distanced environment it is hugely important that we take the time to check in with one another. In environments where workplaces have been impacted by COVID-19 restrictions, employees can face additional factors or stressors that can impact wellbeing. As a colleague or employer, it is important to start the conversation by asking “are you really okay?”, listening carefully and finding further support if needed.

Promote self-care

Self-care is a fundamental way of caring for your wellbeing. Practising self-care whilst you are at work can be as simple as taking your lunch break away from your desk, organising a 15-minute online meditation with colleagues, or standing up to stretch and walk around the room every hour.

Stay social

Workplaces can offer a social environment for employees to connect, catch up, and have a laugh. It is important that we still create these environments even when facing stay-at-home restrictions. Consider organising a virtual afternoon tea, regular online lunch catch ups or a socially distanced celebration, where perhaps you can share some team wins with each other.

Be aware of schedules and workloads

When we are working remotely it can be hard to see how busy someone is. A heavy workload coupled with multiple online meetings in a day can have a negative impact our wellbeing. Be mindful of people’s schedules and workloads, offer support where you can and make sure your colleagues have time to get their work done in between online meetings.

Implement an internal Peer Support Network

A Peer Support Network is where key employees receive training in the appropriate methods and techniques to be able to assist in supporting work mates who may be experiencing a tough time. Peer Supporter training is a great way for workplaces to be proactive about their employees mental health and wellbeing.

Share support services

If your workplace has an Employee Assistance Program or other support avenues available, it is important that everyone is made aware. If this is not the case, perhaps you can share a list of free services that are.

If you or someone you know needs some extra support, visit our directory of national support and services here . For support at any time of day or night, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

All the COVID-safe ways you can support R U OK?Day

Fri, 13 Aug 2021 06:51:41 GMT

R U OK?Day is Thursday 9 September. This year our message is: Are they really OK? Ask them today.

Do you know how the people in your world are really going? Life's ups and downs happen to all of us. So chances are someone you know might be struggling and your genuine support can make a difference, whatever they are facing, big or small.

There are so many different ways you can help encourage more life-changing conversations and share the message with your community while physically distancing.

COVID-SAFE WAYS TO SUPPORT R U OK?DAY

Host a digital event

Make use of technology that can bring people together online. People can bring their own treats and conversation starters to the virtual gathering. Register your event and we’ll send you a pack with posters, invitations and conversation tips to help make it a success. We also have virtual backgrounds you can download here .

Walk and talk

Where exercise is permitted, use the opportunity to go for a walk with someone, have a chat and ask "are you OK?"

The rules vary depending on location, so check the guidance from the health department in your state or territory before heading out for a workout while restrictions are in place.

Create an online 'Conversation Corner'

Create a team or group communication channel where you can regularly check in and ask one another, “are you OK?”. Share conversation tips and help-seeking information so people can confidently navigate a conversation where someone says they’re not OK.

Share information via email, social media and other online channels

Show the people in your world the power of connecting with others and that they’ve got what it takes to support those struggling with life.

By publishing a blog, vlog or social media post that shows the shows the power of connection and conversations, you’ll be able to make staying connected and asking “are you OK?” a part of their everyday. Templates and suggested posts can be found in the Guide to Supporting R U OK?Day .

R U OK? has developed FREE resources to help you encourage everyone in your school, workplace and community to think about who in their world might need to be asked how they’re really going and how to make a moment meaningful by asking “are you OK?” Sign up here to view the resources.

Host a webinar or online discussion

Explore how people can stay connected, who might need asking R U OK? and how to find a meaningful moment to have a conversation with someone.

Conversation starter packs

Create your own ‘Conversation Starter Packs’ to send to attendees who will be beaming into your virtual event. Items such as an R U OK? mug, conversation cards and tea bags not only help people learn how to navigate a conversation but also helps sustain our work. Visit our online store here .

Conversation Quiz

A quiz is a great way to build people’s skills and confidence in having R U OK? conversations. Download our R U OK?Day quiz here and host yours online.

C onnect to Chat

Connect to Chat is a virtu al meeting, where people can come together and get to know one another a little bit better. This activity is great for larger groups or teams where you want to build stronger relationships between people who may not regularly see each other, but it can also be a great way to encourage smaller groups to connect. You can find a Connect to Chat activit y sheet here .

Promise Wall

Start a thread on your internal communications platform where everyone can post their promise to stay connected and make asking, “are you OK?” part of their everyday. Encourage them to write down how they plan to put this into action. Download the Promise Card here .

While getting creative and organising your activities, it’s important to refer to official government information and guidelines to ensure you have COVID safe procedures in place.

R U OK? has released FREE resources to help you feel more confident asking friends and loved ones how they're really going. You can download the resources, including a guide to supporting R U OK?Day, a conversation guide, posters, social media tiles and more here .

If you or someone you know needs some extra support, visit our directory of national support and services here . For support at any time of day or night, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Role-play an R U OK? conversation

hello@ruok.org.au — Thu, 12 Aug 2021 05:52:45 GMT

Your mate Adam has had some relationship worries lately - time for a chat?

R U OK?Day is Thursday 9 September. This year our message is:

Are they really OK? Ask them today.

To help you ask the people in your world how they're really going we've released an interactive video where you can role-play an R U OK? conversation.

The scenario: Your mate Adam has had some relationship worries lately. Time for a chat? Play the video above to ask Adam how he's really going.

Want to get involved in R U OK?Day? Use our FREE resources to encourage everyone in your school, workplace and community to think about who in their world might need to be asked "are you OK?"

Find more conversation tips and resources

Justin Geange's six tips for helping mates open up

Mon, 09 Aug 2021 03:55:31 GMT

Justin Geange is a Mates in Construction Field Officer. He shares his tips for helping a mate open up about how they're really going.

Are they really OK? Ask them today.

We asked Justin Geange for his top conversation tips and how he finds meaningful moments to ask his mates how they're really going.

Stay connected

I am from New Zealand and have had more phone calls and video chats with my family than I could count. It’s so important to stay in contact and keep asking that crucial question, ‘are you OK? ‘Sometimes, after chats, I have been able to reflect on their tone and language and ask myself, ‘are they really OK?’. Just because we might not be able to talk to someone face-to-face, it doesn’t mean we can’t all stay connected.

Meaningful moments

When I was struggling, my boss took me out for coffee time and time again and asked if I was OK. Each time he said those magical words, he gave me a little seed of hope that I was doing OK. If you’re thinking of asking someone the question, find a private, comfortable setting that will help them feel relaxed. Maybe it’s going for a coffee, a smoko on a construction site or a lunch-time stroll. These sort of times are great to pull someone aside and say “come on, let's get out of here and grab a pie down the road”. We as humans do life together side-by-side, we stand stronger together.

Listen to understand

When I told my boss I wasn’t OK I didn’t want him to fix things right then and there. I just wanted someone to hear me, someone to understand as a person with a mental illness and a lived experience of suicide. Two big floppy ears listening to someone, to understand what they’re feeling and experiencing, is so valuable. A phrase that helps me is, “listen to understand, don’t listen to respond.

Who to look out for

The obvious signs someone is struggling won’t always be there, that’s why it’s so important to regularly check in with the people in your world. From my work with Mates in Construction, a lot of people seek support after relationship breakdown, loss of a friend or loved one. Also people under stress at work, losing their jobs and facing financial difficulty. These are the obvious things I look out for if I think someone might be struggling.

Help someone get the help they need

If I am worried about a friend or family member my whole goal is to support them and help however I can. It could be having a yarn with someone they trust, or having a yarn with a health professional. But bottom line is to walk with them. Don't just say, “here’s a number, good luck with that”. Show them you are genuinely there to help them to access the help they need.

Keep checking in and making conversations part of everyday life

I always say if I have a bad pizza, I don't stop eating pizza, I go to a different pizza shop. The check in is so important, because we might link someone up to a support service and it isn’t the right fit. Checking in down the track lets them know you care and if they are still struggling, you can address it together.

R U OK? has FREE resources to help you feel more confident asking friends and loved ones how they're really going. You can access them here .

If you or someone you know needs some extra support, visit our directory of national supports and services here .

R U OK? Tradies

Tue, 03 Aug 2021 02:38:44 GMT

R U OK? is calling on Australian tradespeople to add conversation skills to their toolkits and has released ‘Tradies Tools to Talk’ to help them know when and how to ask their workmates ‘are you OK?’.

The resources feature ‘tradies’ sharing their stories and practical tips supported by information about how to spot the signs someone might be struggling, and how to navigate the conversation if someone answers, “no, I’m not OK.”

Katherine Newton, CEO, R U OK? says ‘Tradies’ face challenges across their working lives and the impact of COVID-19 has increased uncertainty for a workforce already dealing with job insecurity pressures and the inability to adopt a Work From Home model.

Trades workers and technicians make up more than 13 percent of the Australian workforce with men filling 84 per cent(1.5M) of those 1.8million jobs ( Australian Bureau of Statistics, Labour Force Survey June 2021 ). Within this sector the Building and Construction industry has experienced significantly higher rates of suicide when compared with the general population ( Milner A, Law P, Mates in Construction, Mental Health in the Construction Industry June 2017 ).

“The pressures of job insecurity, financial position and intense physical demands are part of their everyday. Coupled with life challenges such as relationship difficulties and grief, there can be a cumulative effect which impacts mental health and senses of social connection,” said Ms Newton.

“This is sector where stigma is high and internal pressure builds when workers feel they can’t talk to others about what’s happening for them. To help reduce that stigma we’re encouraging workers to use of our ‘Tradies Tools to Talk’ to open conversations and check in with those working alongside them.

“By making time to meaningfully reach out and offer support, you can make a difference to someone struggling with life and help them find professional support where it’s needed.”

The free ‘Tradies Tools to Talk’ resources provide guidance on how family, friends and fellow workers can spot the signs that a ‘tradie’ in their world may be struggling. The resources feature stories of tradies told by tradies and aim to empower individuals with the confidence to check in with a workmate who might be doing it tough.

Plumber Justin Geange has been an R U OK? Community Ambassador since 2015 and works as a Field Officer for suicide prevention charity Mates in Construction. He says that while construction workers were thought of as tough as nails, a lot were hurting and masking their pain.

“I was on struggle street back in 2012 and had a mate call me out on the stuff that he was noticing and the changes in my life, “said Mr Geange. “That conversation led me to get the help that I needed and it’s the reason I’m here today."

Mr Geange says one of the biggest challenges for time poor tradies is finding time to really talk.

“Maybe go for a walk down to the coffee shop and grab a pie and have a yarn or have a yarn in the car on the way to work or on the way home from work,” he said . “These are great opportunities to have meaningful conversations, fair dinkum, real R U OK? conversations.

“As an industry cultural change is happening, and I want play my part in spreading the message that it’s OK to speak up when your struggling.

As someone with a lived experience of mental health and circumstantial challenges, I am passionate about how transparent conversations with a mate or someone you trust can actually change your life, I know, I’ve experienced that firsthand.

“As a tradie, I know how hard it is to put your hand up when you’re struggling, yet we are more likely to accept offered help from a mate or someone you trust. R U OK? has given us tradies some tools we can use to help us with these important conversations.”

The R U OK? Tradies conversation guide was made possible with the support of R U OK? partner Hard Yakka.

Download the free resources including the ‘R U OK? ‘Tradies Tools to Talk’ here .

For crisis support at any time of day or night, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or access a list of support services here .

Ask your mob, your way, R U OK?

Wed, 21 Jul 2021 23:30:28 GMT

R U OK? today launched “I ask my mob, in my way, are you OK?”, to support ‘Stronger Together’ a targeted suicide prevention campaign for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander communities.

The suite of resources for “I ask my mob, in my way, R U OK?” includes culturally appropriate content led by community voices with guidance from the R U OK? Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Advisory Group and in collaboration with the Brisbane Indigenous Media Association.

The campaign encourages people to engage and offer support to their family, friends and colleagues who may be struggling with life. The resources feature engaging and authentic stories that promote a sense of connection, hope and identity.

“The Stronger Together campaign reinforces the power of yarning and 'I ask my mob, in my way, R U OK?' is about showing the many ways we can ask, listen, encourage, and check in with our mob,” said Mr Satour. “The most important thing for mob to remember is that you don’t have to be an expert, you just have to be yourself and ask, in your own way, so you look after your mob.

“The resources give us the opportunity to get conversations started with individuals, organisations, and communities across Australia,” says Satour. “The stories released today show there are so many ways we can, and already do, have R U OK? conversations.”

The resources will help people feel more confident in having an R U OK? conversation and will serve as a platform to the development of additional tools for communities.

“We’ll also be bringing communities together to translate these resources because we know language is central to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures, said Mr Satour . “Culture is also fundamental for our overall social and emotional wellbeing.”

Reducing deaths by suicide and suicidal behaviour among Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Australians is an issue of major concern for many communities and a public health priority. 1

“These numbers represent our loved ones; relatives, friends, elders and extended community members who are all affected by the tragedy of these deaths,” said Mr Satour.

Dr Vanessa Lee-Ah Mat (BTD, MPH, PhD) is the Chair of the R U OK? Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Advisory Group, who provide professional counsel and voices of lived experience to guide the campaign.

“Nationally, Indigenous people die from suicide at twice the rate of non-Indigenous people. We know that starting conversations early can stop little problems growing into big ones. We need our mob to ask the question, their way.” says Dr Lee-Ah Mat.

“When we launched Stronger Together in 2019 it got conversations started. These new stories from our community will help to keep the conversation going,” said Dr Lee. “Together we can empower our friends, family members, and the wider community to look out for each other as well as provide guidance on what to do if someone answers ‘no, I’m not OK’.”

Video resources showcase the many ways Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples ask, “are you OK?”. The focus is on individuals talking about their life experience to encourage more conversations to support those who might be doing it tough.

Kevin Yow Yeh is a Wakka Wakka and South Sea Islander man who has lent his voice to “I ask my mob, in my way, are you OK?”. After growing up on Butchulla Country, Kevin has been living in Meanjin for the past 16 years.

“When I know a friend or a family member is going through some hard time, I reach out by saying, “You right or what?” That allows them to answer yes or no, but
also open about what’s going on in their life,” says Mr Yow Yeh .

“I often like to text or call and for my inner circle of friends, who I feel comfortable with and who feel comfortable with me, I like to reach out face to face.”

The FREE Stronger Together community resources are available here.

If you or someone you know needs support, visit our directory of national services and supports.

Sources

1. Australian Institute of Health and Welfare 2021

Are they really OK? Ask them today

Wed, 14 Jul 2021 23:41:29 GMT

R U OK? has launched ‘Are they really OK? Ask them today’, to encourage all Australians to think about how the people in their world are really going.

‘Are they really OK? Ask them today’, comes in response to new research1 which found 22% of Australians aren’t reaching out to ask ‘are you OK?’ because there hasn’t been an occasion where they felt someone needed their help.

“R U OK? is encouraging all Australians to pause and consider how the people in their world are really going, and to make asking ‘are you OK?’, a part of their everyday,” says Katherine Newton, R U OK? CEO.

The call comes in the lead up to R U OK?Day, Thursday 9 September , a national day of action that reinforces the importance of staying connected with your friends, family and colleagues through all life’s ups and downs, big or small.

“We want to emphasise that an R U OK? conversation is not only for when someone is visibly distressed or in crisis and remind everyone that their support can make a difference for anyone who is struggling.”

The research also found that seven percent of those surveyed felt it’s a conversation you don’t need to have unless someone seems to be in a really bad way, or in crisis.

1 KANTAR PUBLIC R U OK?Day Research 2021

“None of us are immune to life’s challenges whether that’s a relationship breakdown, financial worries, work pressure or, sadly for some, the loss of a loved one,” said Ms Newton. “Sometimes it won’t be obvious that someone is having a hard time but we know that when we ask early and in a genuine way, we can help someone who might be struggling feel connected and supported, long before they are in crisis.”

R U OK? will be releasing a range of free resources in the build-up to R U OK?Day including tips and tools to help Australians know when and how to have an R U OK? conversation.

Joining R U OK? to champion the ‘Are they really OK? Ask them today’ message is Glenn Cotter, an R U OK? Community Ambassador from the Bega Valley in NSW who is committed to starting R U OK? conversations in his community.

We all face challenging times and, in my community, it’s been a challenging few years. We have come out of many years of drought through bushfires into COVID 19 so it was important that we continued to get the R U OK? Message out through the Bega Valley & Eurobodalla Shires as we continue to rebuild a strong proud community,” says Mr Cotter who recommends the ‘Guide to supporting R U OK?Day’ as a good starting point for people wanting to get involved this year.

“Since joining R U OK? in 2018 we have continued to connect our community through a series of family & community days, including events such as the Kameruka Cricket Club Cricket and Conversation days which began in 2019 and help in getting meaningful conversations started all year round.

“It’s such a pleasure to see the confidence growing in our community to support our mates & genuinely ask our mates and family are you OK?”

It’s also important for people to understand that when conversations happen, they do make a difference.

“Research has found 80% those who have recently spoken to someone about something that’s troubling them feel more supported and cared about and 72% said it helped them feel better about themselves and their situation,” says Ann-Maree Fardell Hartley, Registered Psychologist and Suicidologist.

“Everyone has a role to play in ensuring the people in their world feel connected and supported,” says Ms Fardell Hartley. “The free tools and resources that R U OK? have available can help you build your confidence to support your friends, family and colleagues. You don’t have to be an expert, just a good friend and a great listener.”

R U OK? is providing guidance on the times people might need to be asked ‘are you OK?’ and how you can make a meaningful moment through having an R U OK? conversation.

Download the free resources including the ‘Guide to supporting R U OK?Day’ here .

For support at any time of day or night, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Tania ran 100km in a single day for R U OK?

Wed, 14 Jul 2021 04:30:36 GMT

Tania Cahill ran 100km in a single day to raise funds and awareness for mental health in July. We spoke with Tania to find out why she took up the Ks for R U OK? challenge and why conversations and connections are important to her.

Tania Cahill is taking part in our annual K’s for R U OK? challenge, and the mother of two from Wombat, NSW, recently ran an incredible 100km in a single day. It’s exhausting just reading that! But, as Tania tells us, the challenge means much more to her than the distance covered and money raised.

Tania, why did you decide to take part in K’s for R U OK?

I organised a team for Work - Raine & Horne Young's Dream Team - to get everyone in the office involved. I have had my own battles with mental health over the years, but most recently my nephew, Brendon, took his own life in 2019. Since then our whole family has been struggling, many of us with our own mental health issues on top of the grieving process.

What goals did you set yourself for July?

I only set myself the goal of 200km for the month because the most important part of the challenge for me is creating awareness of mental health and the stigma around it. Getting people to talk about their problems is my main aim, and then for them to take action and keep connecting.

And you ran 100km in a single day on July 3. How?!

I’ve been running since 2012 and have completed a bunch of challenges, including a 100km once before in 2016. It took me just over 15 hours to complete the 100km and I was so lucky after about 50km to have the support of family and friends, either by way of phone calls and joining me to walk or run part of the journey.

What tip would you give others taking part in the K’s challenge?

My best tip for anyone else is to be kind to yourself. Consistency is key but listen to your body and have a rest day every now and again.

Tania, why is connecting and asking R U OK? important to you?

Not everyone will show how they are feeling in the obvious ways, some of us are great at hiding our feelings. So when you ask someone are they are OK, stop, listen to their response and follow up.

It's not too late to join K's for R U OK?. Click here to learn more.

For more tips on how to have a conversation, visit here .

If a conversation is too big for you or you need additional support, visit our Find Help page.

Thanks for your support and sharing your story, Tania! You're helping us make a real difference.

Tania's son was there to support his mum.

Tania enjoying a well deserved lie-down after finishing 100kms.

'I let them talk': Asking R U OK? and listening really could change someone's life

Mon, 12 Jul 2021 00:36:15 GMT

We are so thankful for the people in our communities who look out for each other and share their inspiring stories of having R U OK? conversations.

Kacie, from the Awesome Humans social media account, recently posted about the impact asking someone if they were OK had on their life and how she strives to regularly check in with the people in her world. SEE THE FULL POST BELOW.

As Kacie points out, it’s not about finding the solution to someone’s problems, but listening to what they are going through and pointing them to support they need.

“I once asked someone casually if they were OK. That person wasn’t OK, and they didn’t even realise. We talked and together we reached out for help, as I am certainly not qualified to help in such areas, “ Kacie wrote.

“I just let people talk. I try to point out as many positives I can in any situation, but sometimes people just need someone to talk to. Someone to hear how tough life has been, for someone to acknowledge their pain and hurt.

“Helping others helps me and also opens my eyes to the fact that we have no idea what someone else might be going through. There doesn’t need to be judgement, just compassion.”

Thanks Kacie for sharing this wonderful story.

For tips on how and when to start a R U OK? conversation, visit here .

A directory of Australian support providers can be found here .

How To Stay Connected During Lockdown

Thu, 01 Jul 2021 02:58:17 GMT

With Australians being encouraged to physically distance and many in lockdown, it’s important that we stay connected and lend our support those who are struggling with the uncertainty.

It’s normal to feel a range of emotions in these challenging times. It may be stress, anxiety, fear, sadness, disappointment, frustration or panic. Put simply, it’s very normal to not feel OK.

That’s why it’s important we #stayconnected, reach out to our friends, family and co-workers and genuinely ask, “are you OK?”

To help, we’ve put together a list of the ways people can maintain connections with the people in their world while physically distancing or in lockdown.

Find a way to ask, R U OK?  

Where it’s safe to do so, you can still connect face-to-face. Why not organise a walk with someone to catch up and ask them how they’re doing? If that’s not an option you can still connect by giving them a call, sending them a text, Snapping them, setting up a video call or even sliding into their DMs. Remember, if you know people that live alone or could be doing it extra tough, a friendly message from you can show them they’re supported, cared for and have someone who’s ready to listen. Find a way to ask, “are you OK?” it could change a life.  

Exercise together

Go for a walk or run with friends, head down to the park to kick a footy together (remember to follow the COVID-safe guidelines), get a round of golf in with that friend you’ve been meaning to catch up with for ages – you could even get into the Tour de France spirit by dusting off your bike and going for a ride with a mate. If you can’t get outside together, consider what you can do over a video call or online. Getting moving on screen together is a great way to connect and get the endorphins and conversation flowing.

The rules vary depending on location, so check the guidance from the health department in your state or territory before heading out for a workout while restrictions are in place.

Enjoy a dinner date  

 A sit-down meal might not be possible during lockdown, but plenty of restaurants are offering great takeaway and delivery deals. Why not order in or prepare your own mean and share it virtually with a friend. You can set up a video chat over Facetime, Skype or Zoom and keep enjoying those culinary delights and chatter. Use the time to talk about what shows you’ve been streaming in lockdown, that sourdough you tried to make from scratch and ask them how they are feeling. It’s not just dinner, either. Friday after-work bonding, midweek trivia, movie nights and Sunday family dinner can all be moved online.

Use our free Connection Cards

If you’re feeling well and able to support someone, practically or emotionally, you can use our ‘ Connection Cards’ to let them know you’re there to help now and for as long as they need. Download them here.

Beyond Blue and SANE Australia forums and eFriend

We want everyone to feel connected and have support around them, to help through life’s ups and downs. Sometimes people don’t have a strong network or want to connect with other people for support, referral and advice. Online forums, like those from Beyond Blue and SANE Australia , can be safe spaces for people to connect, chat about what they are going through and access resources to help support them.

If you are struggling or need some extra support, talking about it with someone you trust can help. If you need immediate or professional support, we encourage you to connect with a service that can help you, like the Beyond Blue Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing and Support Service available here and 1800 512 348.

A directory of Australian support providers can be found here.

We Need to Talk: The Signs

Fri, 25 Jun 2021 04:37:04 GMT

'We Need To Talk' is a podcast about when and how to ask R U OK? for the rainbow community and anyone who wants to lend support to the people in their world.

'We Need To Talk' is brought to you by the Australian charity R U OK? in collaboration with Australia’s LGBTIQA+ community media organisation JOY.

Can you spot the difference between a bad mood or something more serious in your friends or loved ones?

While the signs someone’s struggling can be subtle, there are things you can look out for that could mean your loved one needs support. In this episode, we explore what someone might be saying or doing and what might be happening in their life or the wider community that could mean it’s time to reach out to them, ask them "R U OK?" and show them they’re supported.

Amelia Arnold, the project lead for the LGBTIQ+ Suicide Prevention Affirmative Practice Training Project at Thorne Harbour Health (formerly Victorian AIDS Council), Victoria’s largest LGBTI Health Organisation shares what she's learnt from her work. Award winning psychologist and suicidologist Ann-Maree Fardell Hartley discusses the signs we can look out for online and R U OK? supporter Quinton Vea-Vea discusses the changes he looks out for in himself and others. You can listen to the full episode below.

If you or someone you know needs some extra support, help is available. You can contact QLife on 1800 184 527 or Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Listen on Apple podcasts , Spotify or wherever you prefer to pod.

Presented by Ruby Mountford

Produced by Jordan Johnstone from JOY

Voice overs by Triana Butler

Men give their tips on staying connected

Fri, 18 Jun 2021 05:39:24 GMT

To mark Men's Health Week, four of our R U OK? ambassadors tell us how they look after themselves and how they check in on their mates.

June 14-20 is Men’s Health Week , a time to reflect on the challenges faced by the men in our lives.

This year's theme is ‘Connecting’, so we asked four of our Ambassadors to tell us what they do to stay healthy, how they connect with the men in their lives and how they approach having an “Are you OK?” conversation - not only during Men’s Health Week, but year round.

How do you and your mates look out for one another?

"My mates have supported me through thick and thin. They have given me space when I need it, messaged when they haven’t heard from me for a while and generally called and connected when I appeared out of character." – Will Stewart

"By talking and being open with one another. I feel if I start the conversation, it opens the door for my mates. I have a great group of friends and although we are busy, we are on the phone a lot." – Beau Ryan

"I check in on my mates from time to time just to see how they are going. If they need a listening ear, I invite them for a coffee, or they come along on one of my many hikes where they are free to talk without judgement." – Chris Savill

"We aren’t afraid to be real with each other. Being there for a mate doesn’t have to be this big daunting thing. Just keeping the lines of communication open is so reassuring and healthy. It lets us know that no matter what we’re going through, we’re not alone." – Barry Conrad

How do/can you look out for a man you think could be struggling?

"It can be as simple as asking, “Hey man, how are you? You doing okay?”. That might seem too simple, but it’s actually so powerful. If you find that you can’t do any more to help them, encourage them to visit ruok.org.au/findhelp. And if they need immediate help, point them to services like Lifeline, Beyond Blue and MensLine Australia." – Barry Conrad

"Follow R U OK?'s 4 steps to a healthy conversation. Ask a man in your life, 'are you OK?' Listen, without judgement, encourage them to take action and then check in to see how they are doing ."- Chris Savill

"Be honest with them. I share feelings and be vulnerable with them. We all have bad days and times when we are struggling. But by reaching out and sharing my struggles, I find it gives my mates strength to talk about theirs. We are all in this together and when they know that they have support, it could change their life." – Beau Ryan

"Checking in via a call, email, text or other can really make the difference. Feeling connected when one is down, despite not wanting to talk really helps. Heading out for a run or cycle and opening up a conversation can really support someone struggling. If they like exercise. Others may prefer a bite to eat and a chin wag. If you make the other person feel comfortable and safe, that’s what matters." – Will Stewart

Why is mental health important to you as a man?

"Even though we’ve come a long way in shining a light on men’s mental health, there’s still so much stigma around it. A lot of men are conditioned to believe that vulnerability equals weakness, and it only makes men feel unsafe to be themselves. 75% of people in Australia who take their own lives are actually men, which says a lot." – Barry Conrad

"Managing one’s mental health, be it through exercise, medication, nutrition or otherwise is extremely important. While men are opening up more, I still see closed books amongst friends and peers, but it’s getting better." – Will Stewart

How do you stay healthy?

"I train a lot. But the key for me is family time. That’s when I’m happiest and most fulfilled. Spending valuable time with them." – Beau Ryan

"I’m really big on setting my mind first thing in the morning. That means not reaching for my phone right away, mindlessly scrolling and filling my mind with meaningless content." – Barry Conrad

If you are concerned about someone, trust your gut and ask “Are you OK?”. Listen with an open mind to what they have to say and ask them what you can do to help.

For more detailed information about the signs someone might be struggling and how to have an R U OK? conversation visit our How to Ask page .

If a conversation is too big for you or you need additional support, visit our Find Help page.

Hepburn Shire gives the gift of conversation

Tue, 15 Jun 2021 02:56:43 GMT

The Hepburn Shire Council, in collaboration with Central Highlands Rural Health, are giving the gift of conversation, to older Australians in their community.

The R U OK? Your Natter Matters resources , including Conversation Cards, Bingo and Poster Series, will be widely shared amongst older community members, as both organisations proudly champion the campaign.

The Hepburn Shire, located in Central Victoria, has a population of 16,157, with a median age of over 50 years. The R U OK? Your Natter Matters resources have been identified as an innovative tool to engage with older Australians who may not already be aware of the R U OK? message. Research has found people engaged with the R U OK? campaign are up to six times more likely to reach out to someone who might be troubled. However, those aged 65 and older are currently less likely to have engaged with the R U OK? message.

Bradley Thomas, Interim Chief Executive Officer, Hepburn Shire Council, believes it is a great way to support mental health and well-being in a really practical and hands on way.

“With lots of active senior citizens and retirees who volunteer across myriad organisations within the community, we have an opportunity to make sure they are all doing OK and ask them the question ‘are you OK?’ whilst educating them about the signs to look out for in those around them, who may not be doing as well. Council is currently commencing work on a Positive Ageing Strategy that will align with the messages from the R U OK? Your Natter Matters campaign.”

“We plan to use the R U OK? Your Natter Matters resources over the next six to twelve months as a way to really engage with our residents in the over 50 age bracket,” said Mr Thomas.

“We look forward to partnering with Council and being able to provide localised resources that encourage community engagement and conversation,” says Belinda Buck, Manager Population Health, Central Highlands Rural Health. “Coming out of COVID we are finding many people disconnected from others, so it is vital that we encourage social connection and check in to ask ‘are you OK?’.

“Resources like Your Natter Matters can help to achieve this by starting conversations that look to build more connected and supportive communities.”

Partnering with neighbourhood centres and the positive aging groups in local towns will see Hepburn Shire develop relationships through the provision of these resources and sharing the R U OK? Your Natter Matters message.

“We are proud to champion Your Natter Matters, and thank R U OK? for delivering such great materials to enable us to connect on an even deeper level with these valued members of our own community,” said Mr Thomas.

You can access the Your Natter Matters resources here.

If you'd like to champion the resources in your community contact R U OK? here.

The #6Bs that are getting blokes talking

Tue, 11 May 2021 08:06:40 GMT

On the regular, a group of blokes come together to sit around a bonfire, cook a bbq, drink a beverage and bond over conversations about life’s ups and downs (and the b*llshit life sometimes serves).

What started as one night hosted by Watheroo local Bradley Millsteed, has turned into regular catch ups and conversations with regional blokes across Australia. We had a chat to Brad about what motivated him to start #6Bs, what he has learnt from the men he’s met and what advice he has on how to start a conversation with the men in our lives.

Can you tell us a little bit about #6Bs and the community you have created?

I live in an agriculturally based community, and we were having (another) dry start to 2017, so I hosted an evening for the local blokes in Watheroo, on May 8 (Mate Day). Just a simple night with an invite for blokes to come and stand around the bonfire, with a warm bbq plate to cook on, some beverages to encourage the b*llshit, but also to bond together and share where we were at with work, family, life, home, whatever needed to be talked about. I was surprised by the turnout and thought there should be more opportunities and spaces for blokes to come together and chat. I started holding more events and posting about them on social media under the hashtag #6Bs. Thanks to the powers of social media the concept of the #6Bs started to gain traction and now people are hosting #6Bs events across Australia.

I am not involved with the organisation of events in other communities, this is up to the host of the event, to organise the location and how they want to run the gathering. I encourage hosts to lead their event and make decisions as they know how best to connect with their community. I am of course, always there to help them as they plan, prepare and execute the event. Events hosted don’t need to be branded #6Bs either - plenty of “Blokes Trips” occur and it’s amazing how many of those get in contact for a set of pannikins to take away with them for the blokes to use while away.

I think the fact that #6Bs has grown quite quickly and organically speaks to the need for blokes to have a neutral space to chat about life. Sometimes just hearing that someone else is going through the same change that you have gone through, can be very comforting to know that we aren’t alone or there isn’t anything majorly wrong with us.

What motivated you to start #6Bs?

I had been really missing my close local mates who I used to see so regularly when we played team sports together. Our lives had evolved and changed with having children of our own, trying to grow o ur businesses, and the natural change in direction of our life journeys. Team sport had played such an important part in my life up until that point, and we didn’t have any outlet to bring us together as a group. There was no male team sports left operating in our small country town.

I saw the impact the initial meet up on May 8 had, not only on me, but on other blokes in the district. Then, I happened to come across the 3 part documentary by Gus Worland “Man Up” on ABC and he inspired me to stand up and try to take a lead in this area. I have always filled roles within our community in a leadership capacity, and this just seemed to be a natural evolution to try and lead and inspire like minded men to take ownership of their own health and lead their communities in having more conversations about wellbeing.

What continues to motivate me is the desire to keep men talking and alive. On average, every day in Australia, 9 people lose their lives to suicide. Of these 9 people, 7 of them are blokes. This has grown since 2017, where 8 Australians lost their lives to suicide each day, 6 being blokes. At the time I started #6Bs, it hit home that the #6Bs represented the 6 blokes who lost their lives to suicide every day. At the time I started #6Bs, it hit home that the #6Bs represented the 6 blokes who lost their lives to suicide every day. The pressure placed onto the modern man is higher than ever before and the isolation that so many of us feel is real. We as humans are “herd animals” and regardless of how much someone will tell you that they prefer their own company, and not being around others, we all still need human contact at some point. Even if someone’s personality is introverted and not needing to be the centre of attention at a function, they will still enjoy contact with others and the opportunity to connect.

What’s working?

I feel the whole concept is working. It really does just centre around giving guys a neutral place to come along and connect with each other (and themselves). For blokes, regional living or social outlet is traditionally centred around either sporting clubs/groups and/or pubs. As our regional communities dwindle, this takes away our sporting clubs and puts the local watering hole under pressure to remain open. I have also come to realise that many men don’t engage with or like sport. And some don’t really like going to the pub either. But most are really happy to be around a fire, we all like to eat, and you can have a social drink with no pressure for it to be alcoholic, just to connect.

The #6Bs is all about the 3 C’s - communities connected in conversation. Making it male only isn’t designed to be disrespectful to our families, they are the dearest things in our lives. But the opportunity to be solo and have the time to express yourself (if you want to) and communicate with other blokes about what is happening in your life is bloody important. Blokes in these situations don’t have to feel the need to fulfill the instilled attributes of “hunter gatherer, provider, defender”, they can just be blokes and share with others.

What advice would you give to people wanting to check in on the men in their lives? Do you have any advice for getting men to open up?

Language and setting are vital! Men don’t talk face-to-face, we talk over our shoulders. If it is a face-to-face conversation, it is often taken as quite confrontational. For a conversation between regional-based blokes or farmers, the setting doesn’t get much better than either sitting in the front of a ute driving around or leaning on the back of a ute having a debrief with a beer.

Communication is more than speaking. Listening is arguably more important. We have one mouth, two ears and two eyes for a reason, and they should be used in that ratio. Speak little, listen and sense lots. Being able to sense and realise when someone isn’t their “normal” self is so important. When normal routines are broken and people start withdrawing from what they normally do, it’s a very good sign that things might be starting to go astray in their wellbeing. At this time, you need to ask the tough question “R U OK?”, and then have the resolve to follow up with another question if the answer you receive or the expressions during the response aren’t what you expected. If you aren’t able to make that connection, contact others in your circle of mates to reach out - someone will be able to connect with them, and get them to share their situation.

Thanks Brad for being a conversation hero and championing chats with regional blokes across Australia.

To find out more about #6Bs visit: www.6bs.com.au

If you’re supporting someone in regional and remote Australia who's going through a tough time, you can download our Mateship Manual as a helpful guide to starting conversations: https://www.ruok.org.au/mateship-manual

R U OK?'s Conversation Convoy Visited AgFest to Encourage Meaningful Conversations with the Agricultural Community

Fri, 07 May 2021 05:45:16 GMT

R U OK?’s Conversation Convoy visited AgFest to check in with the agricultural community.

One of the key resources the R U OK? team brought with them is the Mateship Manual , a free short simple guide with tips and guidance to help everyone have a meaningful conversation with someone who's doing it tough in rural and remote areas.

“Our rural and remote communities have been some of our hardest hit in recent years, but they are also some of the most resilient with a tradition of supporting each other,” said R U OK? CEO, Katherine Newton.

“We know that local knows best, and our team really enjoyed connecting with AgFest attendees to hear how they support one another, listening to what they have to say and sharing a range of free resources they can refer to when helping their friends and family through challenging times,” said Ms Newton.

Ms Newton says that while the COVID-19 pandemic had forced changes to their plans for more extensive regional visits, R U OK? has adapted and is committed to sharing the R U OK? message when invited into communities and festivals, albeit on a smaller scale for now.

Joining the team at AgFest is R U OK? Community Ambassador, Mitch McPherson who is also the founder of Hobart charity SPEAK UP Stay ChatTY . Mitch lost his younger brother Ty to suicide in 2014 and Stay ChatTY was started in his memory.

“Its important people feel confident they know how to spot the signs someone is struggling and how to navigate a meaningful conversation if someone says, “No I’m not OK,” said Mr McPherson.

“R U OK? will be teaming up with Stay ChatTY at AgFest. Come and find us at Site 212 in Second Avenue.”

The R U OK? Conversation Convoy visit to AgFest would not be possible without the generous support from Connor Menswear, Audi Foundation, KitKat, Twinings and Spirit Super.

For support at any time of day or night, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

4 ways to ask R U OK?

hello@ruok.org.au — Tue, 27 Apr 2021 09:09:48 GMT

Starting a conversation with someone you’re worried about can be nerve wracking. Not because you don’t want to check in, but because you don’t want to ‘get it wrong.’

You might be asking yourself things like: When is the right time to do it? Where should I do it? What do I say? Will I offend them? How do I keep the conversation going?

We reached out to our community to find out how they like to start R U OK? conversations and why this works for them and the person they’re supporting.

Here’s what they had to say.

“Coffee needs to be in my hand when I initiate a conversation, and whatever drink the other person wants”

Not everyone feels comfortable making eye contact or sitting face to face when talking about life’s ups and downs. Having something to hold or focus on during a tough chat can help them relax and open up. Some other ideas could be going for a walk, gardening together or kicking a ball around.

“Are you ok because I have noticed that… (insert what has you worried such as you’ve been quieter than usual, you haven’t been turning up to the gym etc)”

Giving context to why you are asking the question shows that you care about them and have been noticing changes in their behaviour. It also provides an opportunity for a more open conversation, rather than restricting the response to yes or no.

“I like to ease into the conversation by focusing on things they’re comfortable talking about, like their kids, work or what they have been up to on the weekend.”

Chatting about everyday life can help you pick up on signs and ease into having an R U OK? conversation. For example, if someone mentions they have been really busy with work, you can ask if they’re doing OK and if it is impacting on other parts of their life. Likewise, someone might say they haven’t had the motivation to socialise on weekends and are feeling quite flat. You can then ask ‘how long has this been happening?’ and suggest support for them.

“I’ve been a little concerned for you lately, you don’t have to say everything, or even anything. When or if you’re ready, I’ll be right here.”

At the time you check in with someone, they might not be ready to talk. And that is OK. Letting someone know you are there when they are ready means that if they are having a difficult day or going through a tough time, they know they have people around them they can talk to.

There is no right or wrong way to ask someone ‘Are you ok?’. The best thing to do is ask in your own way and continue to check in.

N ow that you have some ideas in mind on how you can approach someone you’re worried about, why not give it a try? You can role play having a conversation or test your conversation knowledge in our online quiz . Give it a go.

Daisy Hill local honoured for suicide prevention work

hello@ruok.org.au — Fri, 23 Apr 2021 11:23:16 GMT

Daisy Hill local Justin Geange has received the Conversation Champion Award at the 2021 Barbara Hocking Memorial Awards.

Held virtually by suicide prevention organisation R U OK?, the Awards recognise efforts to create a world where we are all connected and protected from suicide across five categories; Workplace, Education, Community, Conversation Champion and Young Conversation Champion.

The judging panel took the time to celebrate the significant contribution Justin is making to suicide prevention work which has opened up the conversation for many nationwide.

Justin has been an R U OK? Community Ambassador since 2011 and currently works as a Field Officer with Mates in Construction.

In 2020, Justin didn’t let the COVID-19 pandemic disrupt his efforts. He made it his mission to connect with disconnected people through song and from March 2020 he sang requests for people all around the world, sharing an R U OK? message and reminding us all to stay connected.

“When we look out for one another and ask, “are you OK?” we can help break down stigma and encourage people to access the help and support they need long before they’re in crisis,” says R U OK? CEO Katherine Newton.

“While every one of us can have these conversations, this category recognises the people who are working tirelessly to encourage their community to look out for one another. Justin is absolutely one of those people - a true “Conversation Champion - and we are so grateful for the real impact his work is making all around Australia.”

Justin was nominated by his wife Marnie who shared that almost daily Justin receives a message or has a conversation where someone thanks him for sharing his story and encouraging people to have these important conversations.

Marnie believes Justin has changed the lives of hundreds, if not thousands, of people saying, “He’s always ready to talk to someone about how they’re going and offer advice and support. He lends his voice and experience to organisations across the mental health and suicide prevention sector. He’s always willing to share his personal story and journey.”

Justin accepted the Award over Zoom in a COVID-19 safe ceremony; “What a privilege and honour to have been named “RUOK’s Conversation Champion for 2021,” said Geange. “I would like to dedicate this award to every single person who shares their story in the hope that it helps someone else with theirs!”

The Awards also celebrated the life of Barbara Hocking OAM (d. 2016), one of Australia's leading advocates for people living with mental illness.

“These Awards honour a longtime friend of R U OK? who was a leader in the mental health and suicide prevention sector,” said R U OK? Chair Mike Connaghan of Ms Hocking’s legacy.

“These Awards honour Barbara’s lifelong commitment to peer-to-peer support, highlighting that all of us can have a meaningful conversation with someone in our world who might be strugging with the ups and downs of life. Barbara was the first person from the mental health sector who believed in the merit of the R U OK? mission to break down stigma and encourage conversations that can change lives.”

Details of all categories, finalists and winners for The Barbara Hocking Memorial Awards can be found on the R U OK? website at www.ruok.org.au/barbara-hocking-memorial-award

Maroubra locals, Rise Foundation, honoured for suicide prevention work

hello@ruok.org.au — Fri, 23 Apr 2021 11:17:55 GMT

Rise Foundation has rec eived the ‘Community’ Award at the 2021 Barbara Hocking Memorial Awards.

The judging panel took the time to celebrate Rise Foundation’s significant contribution to suicide prevention work which has opened up the conversation for many in the southern Sydney suburbs.

Rise Foundation has worked with Souths Juniors Rugby League Club, Surfing NSW, local gyms and businesses to put mental health education front of mind for the community.

The Foundation has held mental health first aid training for businesses and community members in and around the Sydney suburb of Maroubra and in response to the sad loss of a number of young people to suicide, Rise arranged open forums to safely talk about what they, as a community, could do to support each other and care for the young people in their area.

“The Community Award recognises a community group or organisation that’s making a difference by sharing the R U OK? message. says R U OK? CEO Katherine Newton. “Neighbours and communities play an important role in fostering connection and showcasing the difference support, love, kindness and a non-judgemental ear can make to those in need.

“We are truly inspired by the efforts of all the nominees for the Barbara Hocking Memorial Awards. Rise Foundation Australia’s work, led by Ben Higgs is having a very real and positive impact by encouraging others to have regular, meaningful conversations and invest more time in the people around them.

Rise Foundation are champions of the R U OK? message and role models, demonstrating the importance of being there for your mates and for your community.”

The Awards also celebrated the life of Barbara Hocking OAM (d. 2016), one of Australia's leading advocates for people living with mental illness.

“These Awards honour a longtime friend of R U OK? who was a leader in the mental health and suicide prevention sector,” said R U OK? Chair Mike Connaghan of Ms Hocking’s legacy.

Details of all categories, finalists and winners for The Barbara Hocking Memorial Awards can be found on the R U OK? website at www.ruok.org.au/barbara-hocking-memorial-award

‘Upper Hunter Where There’s a Will’ honoured for suicide prevention work

hello@ruok.org.au — Fri, 23 Apr 2021 11:15:51 GMT

‘Upper Hunter - Where There’s a Will’ has received the Education Award at the 2021 Barbara Hocking Memorial Awards.

The judging panel took the time to celebrate the significant contribution ‘Upper Hunter - Where There’s a Will’ is making to suicide prevention work which has opened up the conversation for many in the Upper Hunter.

‘Upper Hunter - Where There’s A Will’ is making a difference in the Muswellbrook and Upper Hunter Shires by working to improve literacy in wellbeing and mental health for students, families and the wider community.

To coincide with R U OK?Day, ‘Upper Hunter - Where There’s a Will’ launched the Act of Humanity Awards, to promote the R U OK? message. This involved schools recognising an individual or a group of friends who demonstrated support for someone in need.

“Looking out for one another and lending support are key life skills for any age group,” says R U OK? CEO Katherine Newton. “The Education category recognises organisations and institutions that are promoting a positive environment of peer support.”

“We are truly inspired by the efforts of all the nominees for the Barbara Hocking Memorial Awards. The work from Upper Hunter - Where There’s a Will is having a very real and positive impact by encouraging others to have regular, meaningful conversations and invest more time in the people around them.”

The Awards also celebrated the life of Barbara Hocking OAM (d. 2016), one of Australia's leading advocates for people living with mental illness.

“These Awards honour a long-time friend of R U OK? who was a leader in the mental health and suicide prevention sector,” said R U OK? Chair Mike Connaghan of Ms Hocking’s legacy.

“These Awards honour Barbara’s lifelong commitment to peer-to-peer support, highlighting that all of us can have a meaningful conversation with someone in our world who might be struggling with the ups and downs of life. Barbara was the first person from the mental health sector who believed in the merit of the R U OK? mission to break down stigma and encourage conversations that can change lives.”

Details of all categories, finalists and winners for The Barbara Hocking Memorial Awards can be found on the R U OK? website at www.ruok.org.au/barbara-hocking-memorial-award

Moss Vale High School student honoured for suicide prevention work

hello@ruok.org.au — Fri, 23 Apr 2021 11:10:21 GMT

Moss Vale High School student Jeremy Millward has received the Young Conversation Champion Award at the 2021 Barbara Hocking Memorial Awards.

The judging panel took the time to celebrate the significant contribution Jeremy is making to suicide prevention work which has opened up the conversation for many at Moss Vale High School.

A Year 11 Student at the high school, Jeremy’s passion for R U OK? drove him to organise an R U OK? Week at his school.

Activities included a ‘Wear it Yellow Day’, a conversation walk, school lesson activities about how to have an R U OK? conversation and the permanent installation of yellow tables in one of the main break areas at the school to encourage students to ask the question every day of the year.

“We’re never too young to learn how to be a good friend and ask R U OK?”, says R U OK? CEO Katherine Newton. “The Young Conversation Champion Award recognises young people who are making connections, looking out for one another and encouraging everyone to ask, “are you OK?”.

“Jeremy helped raise awareness and build conversation confidence in students during a difficult year when looking out for one another was more important than ever.”

Jeremy accepted the Award over Zoom in a COVID-19 safe ceremony.

“These Awards honour a long-time friend of R U OK? who was a leader in the mental health and suicide prevention sector,” said R U OK? Chair Mike Connaghan of Ms Hocking’s legacy.

“These Awards honour Barbara’s lifelong commitment to peer-to-peer support, highlighting that all of us can have a meaningful conversation with someone in our world who might be struggling with the ups and downs of life. Barbara was the first person from the mental health sector who believed in the merit of the R U OK? mission to break down stigma and encourage conversations that can change lives.”

Details of all categories, finalists and winners for The Barbara Hocking Memorial Awards can be found on the R U OK? website at www.ruok.org.au/barbara-hocking-memorial-award

Yellow takes gold at Peninsula Film Festival

hello@ruok.org.au — Thu, 25 Mar 2021 01:16:59 GMT

Sometimes, words can’t explain a feeling. That's why the talented Flynt Robbins made the short film 'Yellow' to show the difference connection and support can make to someone who's struggling. The film won the R U OK? award at this year’s Peninsula Film Festival.

Founded in 2011 by R U OK? Ambassador Steve Bastoni, the annual Peninsula Film Festival calls on creatives across the country to make and share movies with impact. ‘Yellow’ shines a light on the role connection, finding our place and having a support network can play in positive mental health.

We went behind the scenes and had a chat with the creative Flynt Robbins about his reason for creating ‘Yellow’ and his personal mental health journey.

What message were you hoping to send with this short film?

I was hoping to create something that would have helped me in my darkest times. ‘Yellow’ was something that I first conceived during Year 10 and has grown in my mind since then. The beauty of the idea is that it is so broad and can be applied to a number of topics (mental health, LGBTQ+ issues, etc).

For myself, the message is about the journey and one’s opportunities. In my own personal opinion, and based on my experience, I’ve found that no situation is permanent and the opportunity to belong is open to everyone.

All people have their own ‘balloon’ to share, and the truth is sometimes it is undesirable; that is to say, in reference to my film, sometimes it’s yellow. My balloon is a tragedy, however, I found my town of people who share a similar experience. No matter the colour of my balloon, I’ll always know that it’s not a unique obstacle, and that my hardships can welcome friendships and positive growth. This, of course comes with time - but what I want people to know is that chasing and embracing their balloon is a step in the right direction.

You created this during the COVID-19 pandemic, why do you think it’s so important that we all stay connected now and into the future?

Connection, to self and others, is the cornerstone of human health and during the lockdown it was often difficult to maintain either.

It’s my own belief that the younger generation’s constant connection through social media and the internet is both a blessing and harmful thing. It definitely creates opportunities for more candid conversations about mental health, yet with the modern, 24/7 influx of disastrous news – it can also lure us to take on the world’s problems.

Going forward we need to further explore the potential positive impact of online connection, and finding the right balance . It’s quite easy to feel lost in such a complex time and sometimes all we need is a sense of connection to keep us grounded.

I have always believed that we are all each other’s best assets and COVID helped to illuminate this.

Why do you think asking R U OK? and supporting our friends is important?

R U OK? is such a simple question but it can mean so much. It’s direct and gives people an unmistakable chance to let things out, and finally breathe. We all have struggles in everyday life, some are bigger than others, but this doesn’t change the fact that we can all use support from time to time. The stigma around mental illness is still very real and the normalisation of compassionate practices and vulnerability can only help. Asking R U OK? can mean the first step to recovery or that vital step back from the ledge. Either way, it’s importance could never be overstated.

What advice would you give to other young filmmakers?

You have to be yourself. Produce your pieces for yourself, and likeminded people will follow. Create the moments that will make you stand up in your seat or cry your eyes out. Truth and beauty are individual and unique.

It took me roughly six months to finish ‘Yellow’ and I made many mistakes in the process, but you shouldn’t be afraid of this as it’s the only way you’ll learn. Take the risks that stand out to you and construct the messages you want to see in the world.

Congratulations Flynt on a well-deserved award! Your message will resonate with so many and hopefully start more R U OK? conversations.

Do you have an R U OK? message you want to share?

We love to hear from our community about conversations that change lives. Whether it is written, drawn, painted, photographed, filmed or another creative expression, we welcome you sharing your story with us: https://www.ruok.org.au/your-stories

6 tips for supporting LGBTIQ+ inclusion in the workplace

hello@ruok.org.au — Tue, 09 Mar 2021 02:29:23 GMT

You can play a proactive role in making your workplace safer and more inclusive for people who are LGBTIQ+.

Research from ACON , the New South Wales health promotion campaign, found that LGBTIQ+ people who were able to be open about themselves at work experienced better health and wellbeing outcomes and better measures in terms of performance and productivity than those who are not. The data provides a strong case for organisations to continue to focus on LGBTIQ+ inclusion, specifically on some of the unique challenges faced by employees.

Here are six things that you can to promote inclusion in your workplace:

Use the right language: Inclusive language respects how people describe their own bodies, gender and relationships. LGBTIQ+ Health Australia has an inclusive language guide . Use this guide to ensure the language you use, and the communications your workplace releases, reflect that your workplace is a safe and respectful place for all.
Reflect: What are you currently doing to ensure LGBTIQ+ people are valued and supported in your workplace? Is there action you can take to improve respect and attitudes in your workplace? You might consider conducting a survey or workplace review to find the answers to these questions.
Review: Are your workplace’s policies and guidelines inclusive of everyone? If not, what do you need to fix now?
Educate: Is there training that you and people in your workplace can undertake to improve inclusion in your workplace? Check out this directory of training opportunities from LGBTIQ+ Health Australia.
Support: Share the R U OK? LGBTIQ + conversation guide with your colleagues and encourage everyone to learn when and how to ask someone who is LGBTIQ+, “Are you OK?” in a safe and supportive way.
Listen: Download and listen to R U OK?'s 'We need to talk' podcast series . The series is for anyone who wants to lend support to the people in their world, with a focus on LGBTIQA+ communities.

By actively focusing on inclusion you can help improve the mental health and wellbeing of LGBTQI+ people and reduce stigma, discrimination and social exclusion.

Want to build a workplace culture where everyone feels safe, supported and encouraged? Become an R U OK? Workplace Champion. Learn more.

Find conversation tips and resources to help you navigate a conversation with someone who might be struggling with life here .

If you or someone you know needs immediate support, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or one of the services and supports listed at ruok.org.au/findhelp

This woman changed my life

hello@ruok.org.au — Mon, 08 Mar 2021 04:11:56 GMT

We asked our community who the women are that have made a difference in their life and why. Here’s what they had to say

Today, Monday 8 March 2021, is International Women’s Day, a day where we celebrate incredible women leaders who have changed the world. But changing the world for one person matters just as much. So today we are celebrating the women who have changed our lives.

We asked our community who the women are that have made a difference in their life and why. Here’s what they had to say.

My Mum

“Mum is my main support, as I struggle with depression, anxiety and PTSD.”
“My mum is my rock. She has always been there and always will be. And the best thing is, I get free counselling from her!”
“Her love is unconditional and her strength is unmatched by any other woman that I have met.”
“She may not be with me now, however the way she made me feel lingers forever.”
“Put simply, without my Mum I wouldn’t be here today. Her strength and resilience have guided me through life and on my toughest days, I know she will be my calm.”

My Sister

“My sister is my sounding board when I need someone to help me think rationally. Sometimes it is annoying how logical she is in those moments but she’s saved me more times than she knows.”
“My sisters have shown me what unconditional love is. Love can rescue anyone’s soul.”
“She saved my life and taught me that life may be hard but it is worth living.”

My Daughter

“She’s fearless, strong and true to herself – I am inspired by her everyday.”

My Partner

“She inspires me to never give up. She overcame people’s opinions and proved them wrong by becoming an author, onto her third novel!”

“She is my world and I do everything I can for her. She is the mother of my two sweet girls.”

“At my lowest, she never lost hope of what I had inside and helped me rebuild my life. She’s my angel.”

My Grandma

“My grandma – she raised me!”
“Nanna made me feel safe, loved unconditionally and brightened every room she was in with her kindness. She taught me to be patient, to forgive and to hold those you love very close.”
“She always taught me to put myself first, and not let others walk all over me.”

My Colleague

“One of my first ever managers taught me everything I know today, and it is because of her patience and mentoring that I have been so successful in my career and personal life.”

My Friend

“A woman came into my life and practically saved me from my second suicide attempt.”
“She inspires me to do more in life. She’s done DIYs all by herself.”
“She stopped me from suiciding twice and we are now good friends.”
“My riding trainer. She pushes me, inspires me and truly believes I can do it!”
“My friends have made me more proud of who I am.”

A message to all the women in our lives

Our community had a few things they wanted to say to the wonderful women in their lives.

“Thank you for being you.”
“Thank you so much for believing in me.”
“Thank you for saving me when I couldn’t save myself.”
“You gave my life hope and helped me stick back the broken pieces when I couldn’t.”
“I LOVE YOU.”

Whether it is because they inspire you, give advice, lend an ear, or provide endless laughs – who is a woman that has changed your life? Send them a text, give them a call, or check in to let them know just how much they mean to you. You will probably make their day.

If you are worried about a woman in your life, check in. For tips on how to ask R U OK? visit www.ruok.org.au/how-to-ask

If you or someone you know needs some extra support you can call Lifeline 24/7 on 13 11 14 or connect with one of the services listed at www.ruok.org.au/findhelp

Meet the man running the Tan for mental health

hello@ruok.org.au — Wed, 03 Mar 2021 02:46:42 GMT

Darren is the man behind Run The Tan , a new initiative raising funds and awareness for mental health.

Can you tell us about what inspired you to create Run The Tan?

Running has always been a passion of mine. I personally use running and exercise as one of my main coping mechanisms - together with meditation it helps me navigate difficult times in my life.

I also believe that exercise is fundamental to our physical and mental health. 1 in 5 people will suffer from a mental health issue this year, and research shows that running for just 15 minutes a day can reduce the risk of major depression by 26%.

I wanted to give something back to the sport I love so much and to the community in general, by raising awareness and funds to support Australians experiencing mental health challenges.

Since moving from the country to Melbourne many years back, I have always loved The Tan Track around the Botanic Gardens and everything it stands for. It’s one of the most iconic running tracks in Australia. People from all walks of life and abilities jog, race, walk and train on the track every day.

My vision was to create a new and fresh running event around The Tan to promote the track, celebrate the amazing times that our elite athletes have done around the tan, grow interest in running as a sport and highlight the benefits exercise has on our mental health.

This year marks the inaugural Run The Tan 2021 . I am very excited to have R U OK? on board.

Q. What impact do you hope your efforts will have?

A. I am hoping to raise awareness of the importance that exercise has on people’s mental health and wellbeing and motivate people to be more active on a regular basis.

We are aiming to raise $100,000 as part of our Run for Mental Health campaign. The money raised will help our local charity partner organisations to provide ongoing research as well as practical services and prevention measures for mental health.

Q. Why did you include R U OK? in the charities supported by Run The Tan?

A. I really like what R U OK? stands for and the great work they do in helping educate the community across all areas (work, personal and school) about the importance of checking in on people to ask them, “are you OK?”

I have implemented several R U OK? campaigns as part of Health & Wellbeing initiatives in my workplace over the years. I have also used their four conversation steps – Ask R U OK?, Listen, Encourage Action and Check in - when talking with family and friends. It’s a very powerful and effective technique and I highly recommend it to everyone.

Q. Why do you believe asking R U OK? can make a difference?

A. “Are you OK?” is a simple but very powerful question. It can be the difference between someone sharing and talking about what’s going on in their life and how they’re feeling, or continuing to suppress these thoughts and feelings, feeling alone and suffering in silence. Most people just need to know that there is someone out there who cares about them and is willing to listen.

As we travel through life we experience bumps in the road, and some bumps are bigger than others. I have had several close family members and friends who have experienced big bumps and some are still riding those bumps. Their challenges have ranged from lack of morale / confidence, weight gain, job loss, PTSD from being in the Australian Defence Force, through to death of a partner / sibling / child.

I have asked R U OK? many times as part of checking in on those around me and find it a very effective way to get an indication (or what I call an emotional temperature check) if they’re okay and then use listening and action plan techniques to provide ongoing support if required.

Q. Do you have any training/motivational tips for anyone running to raise money and awareness for mental health?

A. The first step is to set a goal. Then make a personal commitment to yourself to register for the event, and create a fundraising page for your preferred charity.

I would recommend following a structured running program based on your running experience, fitness level and the distance and typ e of event.

Q. Run The Tan comes after an extended period where Melbourne has been in and out of lockdown, how have you managed to stay connected?

A. Last year was tough for everyone. Throughout the lockdowns I’ve stayed connected mainly through the use of technology, whether that was for work or personal reasons. Using video conferencing, messaging and the old fashioned telephone call.

It has allowed me to spend more time with the kids and my new partner because we’ve been restricted on what we could do outside the house. I’ve been lucky because running is my main form of exercise and we’ve still been allowed to run outside. I’ve enjoyed reconnecting with my running buddies in person for some regular training sessions which I really missed throughout lockdown.

I also hadn’t seen my parents, who live in Swan Hill in Country Victoria, all year so it was great to be able to get up there to see them and the rest of my family over Christmas. I think the older generation and especially grandparents found it extremely hard through lockdown, not being able to see or spend time with their grandkids and own kids.

Q. Do you have any tips for staying connected both in and out of lockdowns?

A. My tips would be;

1. Be grateful for what you’ve got and remind yourself of this. Let others know why you are grateful for them

2. Use technology to keep in touch/ connected with people, especially if you can’t catch up in person; and

3. Do some regular exercise, eat well and try to maintain a good sleep pattern

Q. Is there anything else you would like to share with us?

I just want to say thank you to R U OK? for supporting Run The Tan and for believing in me and the cause.

This is a personal passion project for me, and I have invested a lot of my own time, effort and money in the event because I believe so strongly in the impact this event can make in Melbourne and Australia. Especially after the year we had last year due to Covid-19 and the impact that this has had, and is continuing to have on our lives and mental health.

Keep running and stay safe!

Thank you so much Darren, everyone at R U OK? wishes you and everyone involved all the very best.

Are you up for a challenge?

Run the Tan takes place on Saturday 24 ^th April, click this link if you’d like to take on the challenge for R U OK?

A natter could change a life

hello@ruok.org.au — Sun, 14 Feb 2021 23:24:16 GMT

Tips to help you ask, "are you OK?"

Ageing is not without challenges – health, relocation, loss, isolation, or difficulties completing tasks that were once simple – any of these can lead to us or our older friends, family members, or neighbours becoming disconnected from community and support networks.

A simple chat can mean everything to a friend or loved one who might be struggling. Even if they seem fine, it doesn’t mean they are. Those in need of support might not always ask for it. That’s why you need to trust your instincts and if you’re worried about someone in your world, reach out and ask, “Are you OK?” Comment on the changes you’ve noticed and help them access support to stop small problems from becoming bigger issues.

We all sometimes struggle with life’s ups and downs but by making time to support someone who is doing it tough you could change, or even save, their life.

The health-promotion charity R U OK? has released resources to help senior Australians give the 'Gift of Conversation' . We’ve extracted a few tips from the campaign resources to help you lend support to the people in your world who might be struggling.

The four steps to a meaningful conversation

1. Ask R U OK?

You want your conversation to feel as comfortable and normal as possible. Pick a place (in person, on the phone, or online) where you’ll both feel comfortable. When starting the conversation, be relaxed and friendly in your approach. Let them know you’ve noticed a change and ask an open-ended question like, “You’ve seemed a bit out of sorts recently. How’s everything going?”

2. Listen

Be prepared to listen and have an open mind. Ask questions to learn more about how they feel, when they feel this way and what might help to improve the way they feel. Don’t rush or interrupt. Let them speak in their own time.

3. Encourage action

Try and encourage them to think of at least one step they could take to help them lighten the load.

You won’t always have the answers or be able to provide advice to the person. In fact, sometimes it’s better not to give advice. Some problems are too big for a friend and family member to solve and professional help might be needed.

4. Check in

Try and get their agreement to check in again with them soon: “Do you mind if I drop by again soon to see how you’re travelling?” It’s helpful to follow up in a few days to see how they’re doing. This reinforces that you genuinely care and want to help.

You can find more conversation tips and resources on the R U OK? website at www.ruok.org.au/yournattermatters

If you or someone you know needs immediate support, contact Lifeline, available 24/7, on 13 11 14 for free and confidential emotional and crisis support. You can find a directory of Australian services and supports at www.ruok.org.au/findhelp

Healing intergenerational trauma

hello@ruok.org.au — Fri, 29 Jan 2021 06:55:10 GMT

R U OK? acknowledges Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander peoples and communities as the traditional custodians of the land on which we live and work and pay our respects to Elders past, present and emerging.

You may have heard the term intergenerational trauma and discussion of its effects and impact on Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people and communities. But what does it mean, how can we begin to heal and what role can we all play in supporting the healing of those affected?

What is intergenerational trauma?

Trauma is used to describe situations or experiences that are emotionally painful or distressing and make it difficult for someone to cope. Intergenerational or transgenerational trauma recognises that the effects of trauma can be passed down from generation to generation and the ripple effect can be felt far and wide.

For Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people a history of forced removals, policies such as racial assimilation, socially sanctioned racism and violence and grief over the loss of land and culture have all contributed to intergenerational trauma. [1] If people don’t have the opportunity to heal from past trauma, they may unknowingly pass it on to others.

This video from the Healing Foundation provides an overview and explanation of what has contributed to intergenerational trauma for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people:

Today we see symptoms of intergenerational trauma in broken relationships, disconnected families, violence, suicide and splintered communities.

How can we begin to heal?

Connection and belonging are identified as significantly important when supporting someone at risk of suicide. [2] They also form the foundation of healing from intergenerational trauma.

Professor Helen Milroy, a descendant of the Palyku people of the Pilbara region of Western Australia and a Commissioner with the National Mental Health Commission, credits connection to family, culture, where you’re from and identity as being key to healing.

“What we need to get back to is an emphasis on the strengths and protective factors that have allowed Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people to survive − despite the trauma and adversity they have experienced,” said Professor Milroy in this 2009 article. “Factors like extensive kinship systems, cultural and spiritual strengths, traditionally strong child rearing practices and early autonomy and self-reliance.”

R U OK? Community Ambassador Jacob Ridgeway, a proud Worimi and Gamilaroi man, credits cultural connection with helping him heal.

“The impact of trauma and loss since colonisation are high especially as the core of who we are is centred around land, family, kinship and community,” said Jacob.

“Knowing who you are and where you come from is an essential part of identity, pride and wellbeing for Aboriginal people. When that connection to land or cultural practice is disrupted, it can affect our mental health.

“Culture is a healer. On a personal level, my practice of connecting to culture is core to my existence. When I’ve gone through periods of healing that connection to country, kin and family has been able to boost my confidence, my self-esteem and it’s given me a push in the right direction.”

Healing through conversation

Jacob believes friends, family and individuals also have a role to play in healing.

“As a person, it’s about understanding other individuals and creating spaces where they can be empowered to own their identity, their voice, their experience, their personal truth.

“As well as being aware of the signs of trauma, it’s understanding the history that has created that trauma. It’s understanding the history of inequalities, disadvantage and social exclusion that have disadvantaged our people. This includes the dispossession of land, removal of children and discrimination that intergenerational trauma is linked to,” he said.

If you’re asking Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander people about intergenerational trauma as you educate yourself it’s important to seek their consent. A simple, “Do you mind if I ask you about this” gives them an opportunity to say no if having the conversation may bring up complex emotions.

In this video from the Healing Foundation, Regina Turner President of the Mura Kosker Society shares how checking in on each other is an important part of healing.

“My healing advice for you is checking in on family. Always making sure that they’re OK. Letting them know that you’re there to support them but also being able to detect any signs of disharmony or if they need help at any stage.”

R U OK?’s ‘Stronger Together’ campaign for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people and communities encourages everyone to play a role in increasing people’s sense of connection: connection to family and friends, hope, information and support. The campaign resources include a conversation guide which explores when and how to check in with friends and family who may be struggling and what to do if they need help. Download the resources here .

Useful links:

Healing Foundation - a national Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander organisation that partners with communities to address the effects of intergenerational trauma: https://healingfoundation.org.au/

Sources:

1. Source: Australian Indigenous HealthInfoNet, Trauma, accessed 20 January 2020 { https://healthinfonet.ecu.edu.au/learn/health-topics/healing/trauma/ }

2. Source: Joiner, T.E. (2007) Why People Die By Suicide. Harvard University Press. USA.

Five ways to give the gift of conversation this Christmas

hello@ruok.org.au — Mon, 21 Dec 2020 05:21:13 GMT

With Christmas almost here, it’s the perfect time to pause and consider if there’s someone in your world who might be feeling disconnected or isolated this holiday season. For some Australians, Christmas can be one of the toughest times of the year - their first Christmas since losing a loved one, financial problems, relationship breakdowns, quarantine and closed borders are just some of the things they might be dealing with.

“This has been a year unlike any other and the holiday season for many Australians won’t be quite the same as in years past,” said R U OK? CEO Katherine Newton.

“As well as the social, emotional and financial pressures of the last twelve months, many are facing the prospect of disconnection from friends and loved ones this Christmas.”

Research conducted by Relationships Australia[1] reveals that around a third of survey respondents often felt left out or isolated during the Christmas period, which means you probably know more than one person who might be struggling at this time of year.

While this idea can be confronting, there are things you can do to help those who are feeling this way. We asked five friends of R U OK? for their tips on how to connect with others and give the gift of conversation.

Here’s what they said:

“Amongst the rush of December, make some time for your friends and family who might be feeling left out or run down. If you know they’re working long hours or might miss a family event due to work, book in another time to see them so they can still look forward to catching up. Use that time to give the gift of conversation and help them feel connected.” – Ryan Daykin
“If you think someone might be disconnected or struggling, use that time you'd spend shopping for gifts to check in on them. The gift of conversation can hold so much more value than a present." – Kristina Lawrence
“Use the different events or tasks in the December rush as an opportunity to 'tag along' or invite someone to join you. It can feel so overwhelming to catch up with everyone plus get all the work and family commitments completed. Try and take the opportunity to do both wherever possible!" – Matt Newlands
“Christmas can be a difficult time for many. For some it's a very lonely time made even lonelier with all the media focus on family and friends getting together, and everyone being connected and happy. This can dip susceptible people deeper into depression and anxiety. If you know someone who looks/sounds like they're struggling, make sure you don't forget them on Christmas day. Reach out and send them a message or call them, or, even better, and if you can, invite them to your lunch or dinner.” – Megan Barrow
“If you know someone whose Christmas plans have been altered or cancelled, reach out and offer a listening ear. For many, Christmas is the one time of the year that they can see family members and loved ones, but this year, that might not happen.” – Kieran Resevsky

This Christmas take the time to connect with people who might be feeling left out or alone. You might go for a walk, pick up the phone, send a letter, make time for a cuppa – enjoy any connection that says, ‘Hey, I know this time of year can be difficult, but you’re not alone and I care about you,’ because a conversation could change a life.

Don’t let it be a silent night for anyone in your world. Reach out to them, give them the gift of a meaningful conversation, show them you care and lend support where it’s needed.

Give the ‘Gift of Conversation’ Learn how at www.ruok.org.au

[1] Relationships Australia. 2018. December 2018: Social Isolation At Christmas Time. [online] Available at: < https://www.relationships.org.au/what-we-do/research/online-survey/december-2018-social-isolation-at-christmas-time >.

Worried about someone's immediate safety? Here's what you can do.

hello@ruok.org.au — Thu, 17 Dec 2020 06:19:22 GMT

It can be difficult to talk about suicide but research [1] shows you can have a positive influence on someone who may be considering suicide by initiating a conversation with them and supporting them to seek help. You don’t need to be a clinician, a GP, or a nurse to check-in with someone you are worried about.

It is normal to feel worried or nervous about having a conversation with a friend, family member or work colleague who might be experiencing suicidal thoughts, but there are resources available to help you.

If you think someone is having thoughts of suicide, don’t be afraid to ask them if they are. Asking the question does not lead to suicide. It’s not an easy question to ask, so if you don’t feel confident, a good first step is to call a crisis helpline to seek some immediate advice. You can find a list of available services at www.ruok.org.au/findhelp .

How do I ask directly if they’re having thoughts of suicide?

You might say something like: “People who feel the way you do may be thinking about suicide. Have you thought about killing yourself?”

If they say yes, the most important things for you to do are to:

Keep them safe – do not leave them alone.
Get immediate professional help for them.

To keep them safe, remove any dangerous items from their physical location, particularly if they have mentioned a suicide plan.

If they share details of their plan with you, don’t agree to keep these or their suicidal thoughts a secret. Keep talking and listening to them.

Be positive about the role professionals can play in helping them through tough times.

You can say things like:

“I think it’s time to link in with someone who can support you. I can help you find the right person to talk to.”
“You’re not alone. We can figure this out together”
“Who’s a person you trust? I would like to call them so we can both help.”

Getting them to professional help can start with any of these options:

Calling a crisis support line together
Going with them to a hospital emergency department
Taking them somewhere that feels safe to them but where they won’t be alone.

If you are concerned about someone, learn more about how to have a conversation and provide support at www.ruok.org.au/you-can-talk . #YouCanTalk is a national suicide prevention campaign, led by some of Australia’s mental health and suicide prevention organisations, which aims to empower and increase confidence when it comes to talking about suicide.

If you, or someone you know, needs support or is considering suicide, call Lifeline (13 11 14), Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800), Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636) or 000 if life is in danger. You can find a comprehensive list of available services at www.ruok.org.au/findhelp .

[1] Nicholas, A., Pirkis, J., Rossetto, A., Jorm, A., Robinson, J., & Reavley, N. (2017). Suicide Prevention Research and Campaign: Integrated findings and recommendations. ( https://www.beyondblue.org.au/docs/default-source/research-project-files/suicide-prevention-research-and-campaign-integrated-report-final.pdf?sfvrsn=49fcefea_6 )

Your Natter Matters: Ask R U OK?

hello@ruok.org.au — Mon, 07 Dec 2020 06:08:19 GMT

R U OK? has launched a campaign to connect senior Australians through the ‘Gift of Conversation’.

“Your Natter Matters”, is backed by the Stockland CARE Foundation and calls on members of our older generation to use their life experience to support each other through life’s ups and downs.

“R U OK? want to empower our Seniors to reach out to one another and give the gift of conversation,” said R U OK? Campaign Director, Gennie Sheer. “A meaningful ‘natter’ can positively impact feelings of self-worth and self-esteem and make a big difference to someone who might be struggling with life.”

Research has found people engaged with the R U OK? campaign are up to six times more likely to reach out to someone who might be troubled1. However, those aged 65 and older are currently less likely to have engaged with the R U OK? message. “Your Natter Matters” aims to increase their confidence levels and reinforce to them the value of simply asking ‘Are you OK?’ and lending a listening ear.

After the age of 65, some people will experience mental health challenges for the first time and not know how or where to find support. Isolation, grief, changing circumstances and concern about their independence can all increase risk factors.

“During the development of the campaign people shared with us how the support of friends helped them through some difficult times,” said Ms Sheer. “Having someone recognise they were doing it tough and, rather than turn away, check in on them and be there to listen was something that made a big difference.”

The signs it’s time for an R U OK? conversation can be subtle. There might be changes in verbal or non-verbal behaviour. Someone might tell you they’re having difficulty filling their days or they might be withdrawing from social situations.

“If we know someone is going through a significant life change that’s when we should make a conscious effort to connect,” said Ms Sheer.

The campaign taps into the power of connecting through conversation. Printed and digital resources have been developed with the support and guidance of seniors, advocates, researchers and those working with older Australians.

“The campaign recognises the breadth of life experience older adults can draw on to support those around them who might be struggling,” said Kirrily Lord - General Manager, Retirement Living Operations. “Seniors might be reluctant to reach out so it’s important their peers know when and how to start a conversation that could change a life.”

The Gift of Conversation also underpins the R U OK? Christmas campaign featuring social media, television and radio messages voiced by actor Sam Neill.

Learn more about the ‘Your Natter Matters: Ask R U OK?’  campaign at www.ruok.org.au/yournattermatters

Learn how to ask at  www.ruok.org.au

Don't let it be a silent night - give the gift of conversation

hello@ruok.org.au — Sun, 06 Dec 2020 23:11:03 GMT

R U OK? is calling on Australians to give the ‘Gift of Conversation’ this holiday season.

Voiced by Sam Neill, the campaign urges all Australians to pause and reflect if there’s someone in their world who might be feeling disconnected this holiday season.

“This has been a year unlike any other and the holiday season for many Australians won’t be quite the same as in years past,” said R U OK? CEO Katherine Newton.

“As well as the social, emotional and financial pressures of the last twelve months, many are facing the prospect of disconnection from friends and loved ones this Christmas.”

The R U OK? adaptation of “A Visit from St. Nicholas” by Clement Clarke Moore has been voiced by actor Sam Neill who this year entertained, reassured and encouraged his social media followers and fans to open up about how they are feeling.

“I think this message from R U OK? is one that really needs to be heard. It has been a hard year, and I feel sure we now all have a better understanding of how loneliness and disconnection can impact on our lives,” said Neill.

“This Christmas, this Holiday Season, no matter what our circumstances, we can ALL make a difference - by giving the gift of conversation to people we know. Particularly those who might be struggling, and so many do at this time of the year. To help people know when and how to give the ‘Gift of Conversation’, free downloadable resources are available on the R U OK? website including a personalised e-greeting card and conversation tips.

“Being surrounded by festivities and talk of family holidays and gatherings can make this a particularly isolating time for those who have lost a loved one, are not feeling connected or who can’t be with family and friends through distance or circumstance,” said Ms Newton.

“Don’t let it be a silent night for those in your world. Reach out to them, give them the gift of a meaningful conversation, show them you care and lend support where it’s needed.”

The ‘Gift of Conversation’ also underpins the R U OK? “Your Natter Matters” campaign that aims to empower senior Australians over 65 to support each other through life’s ups and downs. The campaign is backed by the Stockland CARE Foundation and features printed and digital resources that focus on how to give the Gift of Conversation.

‘Don’t let it be a silent night: Give the ‘Gift of Conversation’ Learn how at www.ruok.org.au

Services and supports for police and emergency services workers and volunteers

hello@ruok.org.au — Wed, 02 Dec 2020 21:52:19 GMT

When police and emergency services workers and volunteers face challenges at work or home there are formal and informal supports available which may help.

Informal support can come from families, friends and peers. If someone you know is going through a tough time it can help to talk to them about what they're experiencing and how they're feeling. You can find tips and resources to help you do this in the 'Are the Triple OK?' conversation guides. For many, having the opportunity to spend time with individuals in their support network can help enhance their sense of connectedness and belonging, which are protective factors against suicide, so it can help to make a conscious effort to spend more time to them.

More formal and professional supports can come from:

In-house services in the workplace, like the EAP, peer support, chaplaincy.
GP and counselling services and access to psychologists via Medicare.
Digital mental health services. Head to Health , is an Australian Department of Health site which contains a directory of digital resources for those who are struggling or supporting others.

You can also encourage them to call upon these Australian services and supports:

Beyond Blue (24/7): 1300 224 636
Lifeline ( 24/7 ): 13 11 14
Suicide Call Back Service (24/7) 1300 659 467
SANE Australia (10am-10pm): 1800 18 7263
Mensline (24/7): 1300 78 99 78

It's important to remain positive about the role professionals can play in getting through tough times. While it would be ideal if everyone’s needs could be met with one phone call, it’s important to encourage them not to give up if they have a less than favourable interaction.

A part of looking out for others is also looking after yourself and your needs. Be mindful of your own wellbeing when you are supporting someone else.

You can find a directory of national services and support here .

The Power of Meghan's Words

hello@ruok.org.au — Wed, 02 Dec 2020 04:29:02 GMT

Last week Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex, shared her experience with pregnancy loss. In this article our supporters reflect on how talking about their loss and receiving support from friends and family made a difference.

The Duchess of Sussex last week added her voice to the personal stories shared by Chrissy Teigan and many others who have experienced a miscarriage or stillbirth.

"It was a July morning that began as ordinarily as any other day: Make breakfast. Feed the dogs. Take vitamins. Find that missing sock. Pick up the rogue crayon that rolled under the table. Throw my hair in a ponytail before getting my son from his crib," said Meghan Markle in an article she penned for the New York Times.

"After changing his diaper, I felt a sharp cramp. I dropped to the floor with him in my arms, humming a lullaby to keep us both calm, the cheerful tune a stark contrast to my sense that something was not right.

"I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second."

The loss of a baby at any stage of pregnancy can be a very emotional and difficult time and our thoughts are with Meghan and Harry. Sadly, it’s not an uncommon experience with an estimated 1 in 10 pregnancies ending in such loss.

"In the pain of our loss, my husband and I discovered that in a room of 100 women, 10 to 20 of them will have suffered from miscarriage. Yet despite the staggering commonality of this pain, the conversation remains taboo, riddled with (unwarranted) shame, and perpetuating a cycle of solitary mourning.

"Some have bravely shared their stories; they have opened the door, knowing that when one person speaks truth, it gives license for all of us to do the same. We have learned that when people ask how any of us are doing, and when they really listen to the answer, with an open heart and mind, the load of grief often becomes lighter — for all of us. In being invited to share our pain, together we take the first steps toward healing."

When someone with such a public profile as Meghan shares their story, it can help to normalise conversations around pregnancy loss and encourage people to seek help and information when they need it. It also highlights how we can support people through such loss.

If someone you care about experiences pregnancy loss it can be hard to know what to say or do. You might worry about saying the wrong thing, or you might feel that it would be better to say nothing at all or want to leave them alone as you don’t want to add to their pain.

That’s why some of our R U OK? supporters want to reassure you that talking about their loss and receiving support from friends and family made a difference. But remember, everyone is different so listen and be guided by them as to what support will bring them comfort.

“The words ‘I’m sorry but there’s no heartbeat’ are the most traumatic words you will ever hear,” said R U OK? Ambassador Bianca Dye who in 2019 received the sad news that she’d experienced a miscarriage.

“Then I had to sit in this waiting room with all these gorgeous pregnant women and everyone was just going about their life and I felt like my whole world was crumbling, I felt like I was holding on by a thread, that I was consumed by so much grief I couldn’t breathe.

“It was really tough on Jay [her partner] too.”

“It’s so old-fashioned to say ‘we can’t say anything ‘til three months in case something goes wrong’ because, guess what, things go wrong all the time and we should be able to talk about it and we need to be able to talk about it.

“If someone you know experiences this reaching out and letting them know you care is the most important thing you can do.”

Another supporter encourages actions to support our words when we reach out to someone who is grieving.

“Within 24 hours of finding out I was pregnant I was told it was an ectopic pregnancy and that it wasn’t viable. I was shocked that I was pregnant and suddenly it was all over. I am so grateful for the care and support I received – not just from medical professionals but my friends, family and partner who rallied around me - and I hang onto that gratitude as I don’t want to hang onto anger that this happened to us.”

“Comments like ‘it’s not your fault’ or ‘it wasn’t viable any way’ didn’t help. What did make a difference were the conversations that started with ‘I’m sorry for your loss’ and were followed up with an extra check in, a call or chocolate dropped at my door. They made me feel less alone,” they said.

For many, falling pregnant can be a difficult journey with multiple experiences of loss. A supporter Sandy told us how after completing fertility treatments, followed by 11 cycles of IVF, she was overjoyed to find out she was pregnant.

“When I finally got that first positive pregnancy test, and soon after experienced my first miscarriage - I was devastated, but I knew I wasn’t alone.

“People wouldn’t always know what to say, especially if they hadn’t experienced pregnancy loss themselves, or they’d say silly things in an attempt to make me feel better (which wouldn’t work), but I learned to accept that and continue to talk, talk, talk.

“Even though no one could take my pain away, I never felt alone and I’m grateful for that. Through the power of this support network and an unwavering desire to become a Mum, I pushed through - never giving up!”

Sandy has experienced nine miscarriages on her journey to motherhood. Each time, knowing she had a support network helped her manage the pain and grief.

Our supporters have highlighted the difference friends and family can make by providing a listening ear. However, not everyone will be ready to talk about their experience or how they’re feeling. If someone’s not ready to talk, don’t criticise them, emphasise you’re there for them and ask them what you can do to help.

If you or someone you know has experienced pregnancy loss you the following support services may be helpful:

Australia:

Sands Australia provides peer-to-peer support services, resources and a phone support service that’s available 24/7 on 1300 072 637.

If you need immediate crisis or emotional support, you can contact Lifeline 24/7 on 13 11 14.

UK:

Miscarriage Association has a pregnancy loss helpline which is available Monday to Friday from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. to provide support and information on miscarriage and pregnancy loss.

Outside those hours, their answerphone message will give you the name and contact number of a support volunteer – someone who has also been through pregnancy loss and can offer a listening ear. S/he will be available until 10pm .

If you are in the UK need support at any other time, please contact the Samaritans free 24-hour helpline on 116 123.

Sands UK supports anyone who has been affected by the death of a baby before, during or shortly after birth. The services they offer include a free national helpline and a bereavement support app for parents, families, carers and health professionals; a UK-wide network of support groups with trained befrienders; an online forum enabling bereaved families to connect with each other and a wide range of bereavement support resources available online and in print.

USA:

Compassionate Friends has more than 600 chapters serving all 50 states plus Washington D.C., Puerto Rico, and Guam. They offer friendship, understanding and hope to bereaved parents, siblings, grandparents, and other family members during the natural grieving process.

If you are in the US and need immediate crisis or emotional support, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255.

Canada:

You can find support services in your local area through the Crisis Services Canada directory.

If you are in Canada and need immediate crisis or emotional support, you can contact the Canada Suicide Prevention Service (CSPS) to access crisis support by phone, in French or English: toll-free 1-833-456-4566 Available 24/7.

New Zealand:

New Zealanders can access resources, information and support through Miscarriage Support.

Sands New Zealand Sands is a network of parent-run, non-profit groups supporting families who have experienced the death of a baby at any stage of pregnancy. Sands has resources, information and support services across New Zealand.

If you are in New Zealand and need immediate crisis or emotional support, you can contact Lifeline New Zealand on 0800 543 354.

How First Nations man Joe Williams tackles tough times

hello@ruok.org.au — Tue, 24 Nov 2020 06:20:01 GMT

How I speak about it in communities is, it’s not our mental health, it’s our spiritual health, so we’ve got to look at things to heal our spirit. Again, doing the tiny things, taking our shoes off and connecting to the earth, living by the values embedded in the old stories — love, humility, care — all of those things."

Focusing on what matters and reflecting on the ‘small victories’ could be the key to lessening the impact of COVID-19 on our mental health, according to former NRL player and mental health advocate, Joe Williams.

Joe has managed his mental wellbeing during the current global pandemic by focusing on some of the positive aspects to emerge from the significant and sudden changes to everyone’s life. He uses the extra time at home to connect more closely with family.

“It was my sign to slow down,” says Joe. “I don't want to say it’s been a positive, but the whole experience has taught me the importance of family. Living more closely with each other and spending more time at home means thinking more about our own words, actions and behaviours.”

Joe is a Wiradjuri and Wolgalu man who, following his retirement from the NRL in 2008, has become a prominent spokesperson and community leader, particularly on issues relating to mental health and suicide in First Nations communities. He works across the country conducting customised workshops focusing on emotional wellbeing and healing trauma. In 2018, Joe published his book, “Defying the Enemy Within,” which chronicles his battle with Bipolar disorder, substance abuse, and the moment in 2012 when he tried to take his own life.

His advice for other people when it comes to looking after mental wellbeing during these challenging times is to “just try to do the little things.”

“The tiniest of actions can have the biggest of impacts. That could be moderate exercise, body weight exercises at home, going for a walk and getting your heart rate up, just getting yourself moving. Also, pay attention to the food you eat, and the things you choose not to do, like drinking alcohol or eating unhealthily.”

“Sometimes we start sitting in our heads too much, thinking too much about the future and the past rather than being present and focusing on the things we can control - that’s really vital to staying well,” says Joe.

Another topic that gets mentioned a lot when talking about First Nations peoples’ mental wellbeing is connection to culture. Joe believes culture and the spirit of community and survival within First Nations communities are significant factors when it comes to how communities are coping with the pandemic.

“We’re a deeply communal people. How I speak about it in communities is, it’s not our mental health, it’s our spiritual health, so we’ve got to look at things to heal our spirit. Again, doing the tiny things, taking our shoes off and connecting to the earth, living by the values embedded in the old stories — love, humility, care — all of those things,” says Joe.

“There was horrific trauma around the bush fires, then COVID-19 followed soon after. We went from one crisis into another, so it’s been super important that we just continually notice people’s behaviours rather than just talking about it or waiting for them to reach out. We’ve got to make sure ‘R U OK? Day’ is all year round,” says Joe.

It’s ok to reach out for help. If you need support for your social and emotional wellbeing, call the Coronavirus mental wellbeing support line on 1800 512 348 to speak with someone who can help.

Your mental wellbeing is important. If you’re feeling anxious or stressed, you’re not alone. There are services that can support you through these difficult times.

Joe Williams appears in the R U OK? Stronger Together campaign. The Stronger Together resource kit contains videos, posters, a conversation guide and more to remind everyone in every community to ask someone in their mob who might be struggling, "Are you OK?". Learn more at www.ruok.org.au/strongertogether

Who to contact for immediate help:

Coronavirus wellbeing support / Beyond Blue 1800 51 23 48
Lifeline Australia 13 11 14
Domestic Violence Line 1800 65 64 63
1800RESPECT 1800 73 77 32

If you are in an emergency, or at immediate risk of harm to yourself or others, please contact emergency services on Triple Zero (000).

10 green flags that make someone a great mate

hello@ruok.org.au — Mon, 23 Nov 2020 04:48:16 GMT

“A great mate can tell when something is off and will reach out and ask if everything is going OK. Even when things are good, it’s nice knowing someone is looking out for you.”

Good friends are invaluable. They’re there with us to share best moments of life and they’re there for us when times are tough, offering a shoulder to lean on and a listening ear.

When discussing friendships, we often hear about the red flags – the warning signs – that someone might not be the right fit for us. To turn this concept on its head, a Reddit user recently posed a question about the green flags – the good qualities – that make someone a great mate.

This inspired us to ask our online community to share their green flags so we can celebrate, acknowledge and inspire everyone to be the kind of friend who’s there through all of life’s ups and downs.

What makes someone a great mate?

“A great mate is honest with you. They’ll check up on you, have your back and be there even before you realise you need them.”

“Random acts of kindness - particularly to those who may seem out of sorts.”

“They make regular contact. Even just a text to say ‘hi’ or to share a cheerful photo. A reminder you're thought of can brighten a day.”

“Someone who will just sit with you and be a shoulder to lean on when you don’t have the energy to speak.”

“Honesty, loyalty and somebody who loves and accepts you for the person you are. Somebody you can fully be yourself with and can open up to and discuss anything and everything. That person who is there for you always, even in your worst times - not just for the fun days.”

“A great mate can tell when something is off and will reach out and ask if everything is going OK. Even when things are good, it’s nice knowing someone is looking out for you.”

“Someone who remembers small, but important facts, like a favourite candy bar or interest. While it is a small thing, these facts can be validating and show that someone really listens and cares.”

“A great mate doesn't turn away at your darkest moment. They join you to remind you that you will get well, and the light will shine again.”

“Someone who keeps their word and checks up on you when they know you're going through a hard time. Someone who supports you through the good and bad times.”

“A good friend will help steer you in the right direction without judgement.”

All of these qualities can help make someone a great mate, so it’s important we celebrate the people in our lives who have them, and it’s important that we all try to embody them. There are many more good qualities that aren’t on this list, and they should be celebrated too, so reach out to someone who’s flown the green flag for you and say thanks.

Find conversation tips and resources to help you support someone in your world who may be struggling at www.ruok.org.au/how-to-ask

If you or someone you know needs immediate support, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or access one of the services listed at www.ruok.org.au/findhelp

R U OK? Round encourages grass-roots sporting club members to ask R U OK?

Thu, 29 Oct 2020 22:45:15 GMT

Two Western Australian sporting associations, the Upper Great Southern Hockey Association along with Narrogin and Districts Netball Association, held a number of successful R U OK? Rounds across three days in September.

The netball and hockey R U OK? Rounds encouraged and reminded players to be on the ball when it comes to their teammates’ wellbeing and mental health.

Each coach from the associations involved was given a resource pack which included mental-health support materials, a list of crisis and support services, and resources from the ‘Hey Sport, R U OK?’ campaign.

Rodney Johnson, a representative from the Upper Great Southern Hockey Association said, “Sporting clubs are a way that people connect with others and feel valued in their community – it is then imperative that members of those sporting clubs can identify if a team mate is struggling, have the knowledge and skill set to ask ‘Are you OK?’, and then know what to say if the answer is ‘No, I’m not OK’.”

When asked about the role of coaches in a player’s life, Johnson said, “A coach plays a very important role in the life of their players – not only on the field or court, but often they are seen as a mentor or role model for players. This gives them the perfect opportunity to give advice, reassurance and support to their players if they are feeling overwhelmed or not travelling that well.”

To show support for the R U OK? message, many players wore something yellow, while the junior teams created posters outlining what the R U OK? message meant to them and identifying ways they could support their teammates.

“We conducted three raffles over the three days and raised $1,131 for the R U OK? organisation. Asking R U OK? can make a massive difference in someone’s life, in fact, it can potentially save someone’s life”, said Johnson.

‘Hey Sport, R U OK?’ is a campaign to benefit all participants, officials, administrators and supporters across the grassroots sporting community. Learn more and download campaign resources at www.ruok.org.au/sport

We all have a role to play in reducing deaths by suicide

hello@ruok.org.au — Fri, 23 Oct 2020 04:41:53 GMT

R U OK? calls on Australians to support those who may be struggling with life long before they're in crisis.

The Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) today released the annual Causes of Death data reporting that in 2019 there were 3,318 deaths by suicide compared with 3,138 in 2018.  

We are saddened by the increase in the number of deaths by suicide and acknowledge that every number reflects a life tragically lost and the devastating impact on those left behind. To all those impacted by suicide, our thoughts are with you. Our team care deeply about suicide prevention and it is what drives us to continue our work addressing social connections and early intervention.

The expert knowledge about suicide is that it is a complex behaviour and is rarely preceded by a single event or condition. These figures represent 2019 historical data and it is important that we avoid speculation on the potential impact of recent events on suicide deaths and rates.

We can’t control all of life’s challenges but as individuals we can make a commitment that we will pro-actively connect, and in some cases reconnect, with our friends, family, colleagues and neighbours and be there to support them if they are struggling.

In 2020 we’ve witnessed some inspiring examples of how caring our community can be. Genuine care and concern from loved ones, the supportive shoulder of a friend, or a perceptive colleague can be life-changing for those navigating life’s ups and downs.

A conversation could change a life and you don’t have to be an expert to reach out. If you notice a change, no matter how subtle, in what someone is saying, doing or you know there’s something going on in their life make a plan to genuinely ask them, ‘Are you OK?’ and keep the conversation going by remembering there is more to say after ‘Are you OK?

Once you have asked the question, listen with an open mind, explore how you can lend your support and encourage them to take action towards managing the load or accessing professional support. Don’t forget to check in to see how they’re doing to show you genuinely care.

If you or someone you know need immediate support, we urge you to contact Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Read the Suicide Prevention Australia media release at www.suicidepreventionaust.org/civicrm/mailing/url/?u=1147&qid=34978

If you or your loved one are feeling overwhelmed or need immediate support you can contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or the services at www.ruok.org.au/findhelp

Learn when and how to ask R U OK? at www.ruok.org.au/how-to-ask

Having an R U OK? conversation online or over text

hello@ruok.org.au — Tue, 20 Oct 2020 05:15:30 GMT

With limits on face-to-face gatherings and difficulties travelling due to COVID-19, there has been an increase in the number of people connecting online and over the phone. While these are convenient platforms to stay in touch with friends and loved ones, they can present a range of challenges when having an R U OK? conversation.

We spoke with Debra Brodowski, National Manager of Psychological Services at the Centre for Corporate Health, who shared some tips on navigating an R U OK? conversation online or over text.

Research shows that a large amount of our communication is non-verbal, so when we’re in a face-to-face conversation with someone, we register many subtle non-verbal cues in their appearance and body language.

“The majority of our communication is made up of our non-verbal cues, as well as the manner in which we say something - our tone, pace of speech... This is much harder to interpret when we are in a screen-to-screen situation and therefore, we need to be more effortful and intentional in the manner in which we message a conversation, as well as interpreting the response,” Debra said.

Debra explained that an R U OK? conversation online or over text is challenging as what is being said can be misinterpreted easily.

“We need to spend more time making sure that the message is delivered in a way that is clear and understood, and then taking the time to hear, understand, and interpret the response to the message we deliver. If a conversation starts on text, where possible, moving it to a virtual or phone-based discussion is recommended.”

Sometimes, for whatever reason, it’s not possible to move an R U OK? conversation to a phone call or face-to-face discussion. If this is the case, there are a few considerations and ways to work around the challenges.

“It's really important to take the time to be clear in our own minds what we want to message in the conversation, and how we deliver that message so that it is understood. This can take the form of writing down some bullet points, scripting the messages, thinking about possible questions or reactions and providing some response to these,” Debra said.

“If you’re still unsure, take the time to role play with someone you trust to ensure that your message is clear. This will help you build confidence and troubleshoot any potentially jarring points of discussion.”

If you or your loved one are feeling overwhelmed or need immediate support you can contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or the services at www.ruok.org.au/findhelp

Learn when and how to ask R U OK? at www.ruok.org.au/how-to-ask

We must support our 2.65 million unpaid carers

hello@ruok.org.au — Mon, 19 Oct 2020 01:01:24 GMT

Every week in Australia, unpaid carers spend 36 million hours caring for family and friends who have a disability, mental illness, chronic condition, terminal illness or who are frail.

To understand what it’s like to be a carer and what we can do to support the carers in our world we chatted with R U OK? Ambassador Tess Nobile.

Tess moved from Canberra to Melbourne earlier this year to care full time for her Mum.

“My mum was rushed to hospital in March for severe pneumonia and other complications, so I've had to come down and be a full-time carer while continuing to work full time. It’s been a massive adjustment for both mum and I” Tess said, who’s also wearing a few other hats.

“I had to learn pretty fast and it was a bit of a balancing act as we tried to find our rhythm. It’s important for carers to find a rhythm that works for you as you come to terms with the changes that are happening for not only the human you’re caring for, but the human wearing the carer hat.”

Tess believes the support of her tribe has been key to helping her find that balance and rhythm.

“It’s been an interesting year navigating COVID-19 and learning how to be a carer for someone who is grieving their loss of mobility and facing a number of mental health and physical issues. There’s the physical care I provide, and then there’s the emotional care also. I witness daily the realisation that mum is no longer who she was, and to be able to comfort her through that painful awareness and just hold space for her is where the extra energy is required.” Some days I’m better at doing that than others.

“Having the support of friends, family and other carers is so important. We’ve been in lockdown since the beginning of the year, so I’ve had to get a bit creative in the ways I stay connected to my tribe. Knowing I can unload and get support when I need to recharge quickly has been important.”

R U OK? provides conversation tips and resources that can help talk to carers about the challenges they’re navigating. But alongside friends and family, the support of other carers who understand what you’re going through and can share the ups and downs can make a difference, as it has for Tess.

“I’ve got a friend, Anna, whose father is in palliative care. We’ve been able to share the ups and downs and the roller-coaster of emotions that comes with looking after a parent who you love. She gets the challenges I can face in a day and reminds me that taking a break doesn’t mean I’m a bad daughter, and sometimes we just find a space to cry together.”

Tess wants every carer to know they are not alone.

“I had underestimated how hard it is to be a carer. My message is to reach out to someone who is a carer, just to let them know you’re thinking of them. I know sometimes I don’t want people to think I’m not handing it well or that I’m complaining so it feels special when my friends reach out to me. The one percenters matter.”

Her message to other carers is to make time for yourself.

“There are good and bad days when you’re caring for someone. It’s important as a carer to take some time every day for yourself. I’ve had to put a strategy in place - my weekly self-care plan – and I try to do one thing every day that brings me joy and I do it without guilt. The guilt part is the hardest part, but I have come to learn that by taking care of myself I can take better care of my mother.”

If you or your loved one are feeling overwhelmed or need immediate support you can contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or the services at www.ruok.org.au/findhelp

How to access a mental health care plan

hello@ruok.org.au — Wed, 07 Oct 2020 20:55:50 GMT

The Federal Government has announced that the number of Medicare-subsidised psychology sessions Australians can access each year is 10.

To access these sessions, people need a mental health care plan from their doctor. A mental health care plan is a support plan prepared by your doctor to help you get you the additional help and support you need to manage your mental health.

How can I or a loved one get a mental health care plan?

Book an appointment with your preferred doctor. If you’re supporting a loved one, you might offer to make the booking with them or go with them to and from the doctor.

When making the appointment let them know you want a mental health care plan, so you get enough time – usually around 20 minutes - with your doctor.

You may find the Australian Government’s healthdirect service useful if you need a doctor who bulk bills (just bring your Medicare card to the appointment), provides support after hours or specific services: www.healthdirect.gov.au/australian-health-services

What happens at the appointment?

Your doctor might ask you questions or get you to fill out a questionnaire to understand how you’re feeling and what support you might need. It’s important for you or your loved one to be as open and honest as you can so they can work out the best plan for you.

They may ask you to come back for a follow- up appointment before making the plan or referring you to a mental health professional.

If they think it’s the right decision, your doctor will refer you to a psychologist or an Accredited Mental Health Social Worker for up to six Medicare rebatable sessions. If there’s a lengthy wait time for an appointment with the professional your doctor is referring you to, ask them about other solutions. They might talk to you about other local services or video conferencing.

What if I need more sessions?

Once you hit the six sessions you can ask for more if you and your mental health professional think you need them.

You’ll need to book another appointment with your doctor to chat about your mental health treatment plan. They’ll assess you and be able to refer you for more rebatable sessions. For the next two years you’ll be able to have a maximum of 10 rebatable sessions in a calendar year. If you want to see your professional more than 10 times per year, you’ll have to pay the full fee out of your pocket.

You can find more tips for helping a loved one access a mental health care plan in this video: https://youtu.be/QJoOJshPO00

If you or your loved one are feeling overwhelmed or need immediate support you can contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or the services at www.ruok.org.au/findhelp

Five experts share their R U OK? conversation tips

hello@ruok.org.au — Wed, 23 Sep 2020 05:51:09 GMT

Looking out for our friends, family and workmates is something we can all do, though knowing the best way to approach a conversation can help us tackle the difficult and awkward ones with more confidence. We asked five conversation experts to share their tips for asking R U OK? and keeping the conversation going when someone says they're not OK so you can continue a conversation that could change a life.

Expert: Nicholas Procter

“Sometimes it can be hard to pitch the words in the way that you think are right. It can be a bit nerve-racking to ask those questions and have that conversation. But what we know from people in distress is that it’s less about the words and more about the intent."

Nicholas Procter, Leader of the University of South Australia's Mental Health and Suicide Research Group, shares his conversation tips.

Expert: Kamal Sarma

"Our job is not to fix them, our job is to make sure that we listen to them, that we take an interest and see what we can do to encourage action."

Kamal Sarma, the Chair of the R U OK? Conversation Think Tank, shares his conversation tips.

Expert: Debra Brodowski

"It demonstrates genuine care and concern, it demonstrates that you are able to offer assistance and it really offers an opportunity to be a connector for additional support in an authentic and genuine way.”

Debra Brodowski, National Manager of Psychological Services at the Centre for Corporate Health, on the importance of checking in with someone after an R U OK? conversation.

Expert: Michelle Lim

“My response when I hear someone is not OK is always to ask ‘What can I do?’ and I think it’s really important to ask that question as a follow up because what we might assume will help someone feel better may not actually make them feel better.”

Dr Michelle Lim, Scientific Chair of Ending Loneliness Together, shares her tip for what to say after R U OK?

Expert: Vanessa Lee

“Sometimes people start yarning or talking and they share their story and they pause. That is not your opportunity to jump in and give advice. Sometimes people pause because they’re thinking about what to say next.”

Dr Vanessa Lee, Chair of the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Advisory Group for R U OK?, on actively listening during a conversation.

For more tips on asking R U OK? visit ruok.org.au/how-to-ask

AUSTRALIA, THERE’S MORE TO SAY AFTER R U OK? LEARN WHAT TO SAY NEXT, TODAY IS R U OK?DAY

hello@ruok.org.au — Wed, 09 Sep 2020 23:49:06 GMT

Today is R U OK?Day and R U OK? is encouraging all Australians to learn what to say if someone in their life says they’re not OK.

Thousands of COVID safe or virtual activities will be hosted by suicide prevention networks, social and sports clubs, community groups, workplaces and schools across the nation today to mark this national day of action.

R U OK? CEO Katherine Newton says we can be a safety net for people who might be struggling with life.

“We need to be genuine when we ask R U OK?, to let people know we’re there to listen, that we won’t judge them and that people can find pathways to support and recovery when they’re struggling,” said Ms Newton.

“We’re encouraging everyone to learn that there’s more to say after R U OK? because a conversation really can change a life. “We’re calling on Australians who are well and able, to check in with someone, reach out and meaningfully ask are you OK? not just today but every day,” said Ms Newton. “This is about caring for someone in your world. It’s about looking out for your friends, your family, your colleagues, your neighbours.”

In Australia in 2018 3,046 people died by suicide. 1 Suicide is the leading cause of death among people aged 15-44 in Australia and for each life lost the impact is felt by up to 135 others including family members, work colleagues, friends and emergency services workers.

Recent evaluation measures released by R U OK? show that among those people aware of R U OK? most feel confident they know how to have a conversation with someone who might be struggling with life. However, 31% 2 lack confidence or are unsure they know how to have a conversation with someone who says they are not OK.

"We understand that sometimes people might feel a little uncomfortable or awkward if someone says they’re not okay,” said Ms Newton. “But you don’t have to be an expert to keep the conversation going.”

R U OK? wants people to become familiar with what to say after hearing “No, I’m not OK” so they can show genuine intent and help someone access appropriate support long before they’re in crisis.

Josie Larkin, 18, is the daughter of R U OK? founder, Gavin Larkin who died of cancer in 2011. She says her father’s message is even more important than ever.

“My dad Gavin started R U OK? because he understood that human connection can get us through anything,” said Ms Larkin.

“Connecting with other people when we can see that they’re not doing too well is one thing we can all do to help change a life. “

By reaching out to those we care about, we can help them feel connected and supported, when they are going through a tough time, they know that we’re there for them,” she said.

R U OK? want Australians to be confident they can have a meaningful conversation and if someone says they’re not OK, make time to listen with an open mind, encourage action and regularly check in.

‘There’s more to say after R U OK?’ Learn what to say next at www.ruok.org.au /how-to-ask

- ENDS –

1 Latest Australian Bureau of Statistics data issued September 2019

2 Source: Kantar Quarterly Tracker June 2020 2

LEARN WHAT TO SAY AFTER R U OK? WITH RELEASE OF INTERACTIVE VIDEO FOR R U OK?DAY 2020

support@sensis.com.au (Sensis Master) — Wed, 09 Sep 2020 06:44:07 GMT

R U OK?Day is tomorrow, Thursday 10 September, and this year R U OK? is encouraging Australians to learn what to say if someone in their life says they are not OK.

R U OK? has launched an interactive conversation roleplay video to add to a suite of free digital resources designed to build the confidence and skills of Australians so they can navigate a conversation with someone in their life who might be struggling.

This year R U OK?Day coincides with World Suicide Prevention Day which will focus further attention on the role that each of us can play in suicide prevention efforts.

R U OK? CEO, Katherine Newton says 2020 has been a challenging year for everyone and circumstances have made it even more important for us all to stay connected.

"In the words of our late founder, Gavin Larkin, R U OK?Day is a day to think about someone other than yourself and, if you are well and able, be willing to support those around you who might be struggling,” said Ms Newton. “But we also acknowledge that sometimes you might feel a little uncomfortable or awkward if someone says they’re not okay.

“That’s an understandable reaction and it’s why this year we’re reminding Australians there’s more to say after R U OK? and encouraging them to learn what to say next,” said Ms Newton. “It’s important we know how to keep the conversation going because a conversation really can change a life.”

The R U OK?Day interactive short film is now live at www.ruok.org.au/how-to-ask

Alongside the interactive short film, R U OK? 2020 has developed and collaborated with others to deliver a host of free digital assets and virtual experiences including ‘Ask the Experts’ videos that share conversation tips, an ‘Australia at Home’ free live webinar, video messages for schools, workplaces and community groups, as well as a range of social media and out of home activations, virtual and in-person presentations by Community Ambassadors around Australia and downloadable information kits.

Thousands of COVID safe or virtual activities will also be hosted by suicide prevention networks, social and sports clubs, community groups, workplaces and schools across the nation to mark this national day of action.

‘There’s more to say after R U OK?’ Learn what to say next at www.ruok.org.au

- ENDS –

What should I do if I'm worried about someone's immediate safety

hello@ruok.org.au — Wed, 09 Sep 2020 06:10:55 GMT

If you think someone is having thoughts of suicide, don’t be afraid to ask
them if they are. Asking the question does not lead to suicide.

It’s not an easy question to ask, so if you don’t feel confident, a good first step is to call a crisis helpline to seek some immediate advice - view the Find Help page for a list of available services.

How do I ask?

“People in situations like this may be thinking about suicide. Have you thought about killing yourself?”

If they say yes, the most important things for you to do are to:

keep them safe – do not leave them alone
get them some immediate professional help.

To keep them safe, remove any dangerous items from their physical location, particularly if they have mentioned a suicide plan.

If they share details of their plan with you, don’t agree to keep these or their suicidal thoughts a secret.

Keep talking and listening to them. Be positive about the role professionals can play in helping them through tough times. You can say things like:

“I think it’s time to link in with someone who can support you. I can help you find the right person to talk to.”
“You’re not alone. We can figure this out together”
“Who’s a person you trust? I would like to call them so we can both help.”

Getting them to professional help can start with any of these options:

Calling a crisis support line together
Going with them to an Emergency Department
Going with them to a community centre or recovery centre
Taking them somewhere that feels safe to them but where they won’t be alone.

If you believe their life is in immediate danger or you are finding the situation difficult to manage, call 000.

Ideas for supporting R U OK?Day while physical distancing

Mon, 31 Aug 2020 07:22:49 GMT

2020 has been a challenging year for everyone and circumstances have made it even more important for us all to stay connected and, for those who are able, be willing to support those around us.

The message for R U OK?Day 2020 is ‘There’s more to say after R U OK?’ We want Australians know what to say when someone says they’re not OK and guide them through how they can continue a conversation that could change a life.

You don’t have to be an expert to keep the conversation going when someone says they’re not OK. By knowing what to say you can help someone feel supported and access appropriate help long before they’re in crisis, which can make a really positive difference to their life.

You can learn what to say at www.ruok.org.au/how-to-ask

Ideas for supporting R U OK?Day while physical distancing:

There are a number of ways you can help encourage more life-changing conversations and share the message with your community while physically distancing.

Host a digital event. Make use of technology that can bring people together online. People can bring their own treats and conversation starters to the virtual gathering. Register your event and we’ll send you a pack with posters, invitations, conversation tips, etc. to help make it a success. We also have virtual backgrounds available here .
Create an online ‘Conversation Corner’. Create a team or group communication channel where you can regularly check in and ask one another, “Are you OK?”. Share conversation tips and help-seeking information so people can confidently navigate a conversation where someone says, “No, I’m not OK.” You can find conversation tips and a conversation guide here .
Print and drop resources in places where people will see them (e.g. desks and communal areas). This could include conversation cards, conversation starters or information about planned activities. You can download a number of FREE resources and materials here .
Share information via email, social and other online channels. You can find suggested copy and content in our ‘Guide to supporting R U OK?Day’ .
Create and share content that explains what to say after R U OK?
Host a webinar or online discussion exploring what to say after R U OK?
Create your own ‘Conversation Starter Packs’ to send to attendees who will be beaming into your virtual event. Items such as an R U OK? mug, conversation cards and tea bags not only help people learn how to navigate a conversation but also helps sustain our work. Visit our online shop here .
If you’re feeling well and able to support someone practically or emotionally, use our 'Connection Cards' to let them know you’re there to help now and for as long as they need: Download connection cards .

While getting creative and organising your activities, it’s important to refer to official government information and guidelines to ensure you have COVID safe procedures in place.

By learning what to say after R U OK? and sharing the message in your school, workplace or community, you can help more Australians support anyone who might be struggling with life.

For more information or to download our FREE R U OK?Day resources visit www.ruok.org.au/join-r-u-ok-day

Tips for managing emotional reactions during an R U OK? conversation

Thu, 20 Aug 2020 05:12:07 GMT

From time to time, we can face strong reactions during an R U OK? conversation. When facing these reactions, we may feel uncomfortable, guilty or anxious. It’s OK to experience these emotions but by being prepared and knowing what to say, we can minimise awkwardness and reduce the pressure in these situations.

How can I prepare myself for a strong emotional reactions?

Recognise their reaction might be in response to a range of circumstances, some of which you might not know about
Allow the person to fully express their emotions (i.e. let off steam) and show them you’re interested by actively listening to all they say
Deal with the emotions first, you can discuss the issues more rationally once emotions have been addressed
Being an active listener is one of the best things you can do for someone when they are distressed
Manage your own emotions by staying calm and not taking things personally.

How do I deal with sadness?

Sad or tragic incidents are often difficult to deal with because we empathise with the person and feel helpless as we cannot take away their sadness or pain
Use lots of empathetic phrases, such as “It sounds like you’re juggling a few things at the moment” or “I understand this must be challenging for you right now”
Make sure you’re comfortable with any silence in the conversation
Know that silence gives them permission to keep talking and tell you more
Encourage them to access support
If someone begins to cry, sit quietly and allow them to cry. Lowering your eyes can minimise their discomfort. You could add, “I’m going to sit here with you and when you’re ready we can keep talking”
If you anticipate this response, it can help to have tissues handy.

How do I deal with anger?

If someone is visibly hostile you can respond with: “I can see that this has upset you. Why don’t you start at the beginning and tell me what I need to know...”
Allow them to identify all the factors they feel are contributing to their anger
You might encourage them by adding “Right, I understand that (....) is a problem. What else is causing you concern?”
Be patient and prepared to listen to them talk about everything that’s adding to their frustration
To keep the conversation on track and to reassure them you’re interested in all they have to say, try reflecting back what they have said. You could say, “So the thing that’s really upsetting you is (....) Is that right?”
If they feel they have been wronged or treated unfairly you are unlikely to persuade them otherwise in this conversation. It’s more constructive to listen to all they have to say and provide resources or connect them with formal channels where their specific complaints can be heard.

How do I deal with anxiety?

Speak in short, clear sentences while still showing concern and care
If you anticipate an anxious response, use your preparation time to think about how you will say what you need to in a clear way
Stay calm. This is best displayed through deep, slow breathing, a lower tone of voice and evenly paced speech.

By using these tips, you can help someone feel supported when confronted with challenges in life whether at home , work , school or in sport .

Find more conversation tips at www.ruok.org.au/how-to-ask

If you need support or know someone who does, visit www.ruok.org.au/findhelp for professional support services and self-care tools.

Popular R U OK? Videos

Wed, 19 Aug 2020 06:21:22 GMT

R U OK? has developed a number of videos to help encourage more Australians to meaningfully connect and ask R U OK?

These videos include:
- There's more to say after R U OK?
- Our Story
- Our Impact
- ALEC and Jenny
- Kids video

You can find more videos at www.youtube.com/ruokday

Are you an R U OK? Workplace Champion?

Mon, 03 Aug 2020 06:36:15 GMT

R U OK? today released new resources to encourage more business leaders, owners and employees to build an R U OK? Culture in their workplace.

The R U OK? Workplace Champions Guide promotes peer-to-peer support and regular meaningful conversations amongst colleagues in the workplace.

R U OK? CEO Katherine Newton says for an R U OK? conversation to be meaningful it must be authentic and involve a level of trust between people who know each other and are familiar with each other’s routines and behaviours. 

“When we live, socialise or work closely alongside someone, we can be the first to spot changes that might indicate someone is struggling,” said Ms Newton.

“Many workplaces are beginning to plan their activities for R U OK?Day and we always welcome the positive and vibrant atmosphere this annual day brings. We also encourage organisations to provide opportunities for authentic connections in a quiet, comfortable and safe environment, not only on this day but all year round.”

“Building a culture of asking R U OK? is one action organisations can take that demonstrates they are genuine in their intention to provide a connected workplace for all staff and are serious about providing a mentally healthy workplace and supporting suicide prevention efforts.”

R U OK? recognises that workplace initiatives are often effective when driven by ‘Champions’ within the workplace.

“Champions are the ‘beating heart’ of change and can be the motivating force to drive a commitment to an R U OK? Culture within a workplace,” said Ms Newton. “They provide a familiar relevant face and can enhance feelings of belonging and trust. Our new resources will provide a framework to help R U OK? Workplace Champions build an R U OK? Culture.”

An R U OK? Culture is one where employees are encouraged to talk about the challenges they might be experiencing in a judgement free environment where they feel psychologically safe and supported.

A survey of Australian workers commissioned by R U OK? found only half strongly or moderately agree:

I feel supported and valued at work (50%)
My managers genuinely care about their wellbeing (50%)
When I am at work, I have a sense of connection and feel I belong (51%)

“We are encouraged that 85% of Australian workers surveyed agreed they would help a workmate who is struggling with life,” said Ms Newton. “The next step is to ensure we equip all workers with the skills to navigate a meaningful conversation.

“This highlights the importance of our message for this year’s R U OK?Day which is ‘there’s more to say after R U OK?’.”

The new free resources include a R U OK? Champions Guide, Workplace Action Plan and Workplace Promise and are designed for any industry across Australia. The R U OK? Workplace Champions resources have been developed with the support of Avis Budget Group.

There’s more to say after R U OK? learn what to say at ruok.org.au

Foxtel announce commitment to support community wellbeing

Mon, 27 Jul 2020 07:32:28 GMT

Foxtel today announced a two-year, $2.5 million commitment to raise awareness and support for community mental wellbeing through relationships with Raise Foundation, ReachOut and R U OK?

Foxtel's commitment to providing airtime and engaging in wellbeing programs complements other government and community initiatives to support Australians living healthy, happy lives and experiencing positive mental health and wellbeing. The support provided by Foxtel includes a focus on efforts to improve the long-term mental wellbeing of young people and help them reach their potential, build positive and respectful relationships, and meaningfully contribute to the community.

Foxtel Group Chief Executive Officer Patrick Delany said: "It is clear that a significant and growing number of Australians, particularly young people, need support with their mental wellbeing.

"With the coronavirus pandemic presenting additional mental wellbeing challenges for many Australians, raising awareness and support for in-person and online mental wellbeing initiatives and the fantastic organisations that deliver these services has never been more important.

"Raise do this through early-intervention in school youth mentoring programs that are expanding across Australia; ReachOut is well-established as Australia's leading online mental health organisation for young people, while R U OK? is focussed on suicide prevention through awareness and support from family, friends and workmates.

"Foxtel is proud to be joining with three leading community organisations that are making a real difference to lives throughout Australia," Mr Delany said.

Raise Founder and CEO Vicki Condon said: "Having a trained volunteer mentor to have a heart-to-heart conversation with every week for two school terms makes all the difference for young people who are at risk of disengagement or poor wellbeing. Foxtel's generous support will help Raise recruit the volunteer mentors we need for thousands of young people as we grow to offer our program to every public secondary school in the country."

ReachOut CEO Ashley de Silva said: "ReachOut is the most accessed online mental health service for young people and their parents in Australia, accessed by more than 2 million people each year.

"Over the past four months, with COVID-19 restrictions in place, young people's lives have been profoundly impacted by issues such as study stress, loneliness and concerns about work and money. We've seen a huge increase in demand with more than 275,000 additional people accessing support across ReachOut's youth, parents and schools' services.

"ReachOut is pleased to be working with Foxtel to support us in raising awareness with young people and their parents – it's never been more important to let them know essential mental health support is available right now and can be accessed safely online."

Katherine Newton, CEO, R U OK? said the relationship with Foxtel would help R U OK? educate and empower more Australians to navigate an R U OK? Conversation.

"We welcome the generous support of Foxtel, which will connect us with their valued subscribers to remind them of the importance of checking in with mates, family and colleagues.

"R U OK? speaks to the people around someone who is struggling with life. We provide resources and tips so that when they notice changes in someone's mood, routine, appearance or behaviour, they have the knowledge and confidence to start a conversation that could change a life."

Foxtel's focus on supporting mental wellbeing awareness and fundraising began in May 2020 and has already delivered more than $1 million in airtime value for Community Service Announcements produced by Raise, Reach-Out and R U OK? Foxtel's initial commitment to supporting CSA's and mental wellbeing programs runs through 2020 and 2021.

Why we must stay connected in the face of a natural disaster

Wed, 22 Jul 2020 07:02:21 GMT

Susan and Kevin’s story.

Dreaming of a relaxed country lifestyle and the opportunity to open their own restaurant, Susan Plath and Kevin Lamont moved from Melbourne to the small tourist town of Bright in 2018.

By mid 2019, they had opened their restaurant, The Chicken Shop - Bright, and were looking forward to the summer tourist season that would give their business the kick-start it needed to survive in a tourist-town.

However, on January 3, 2020, the bushfires had encroached on Bright and the tourists were all required to leave town less than a week after they had arrived.

“At that point we knew the summer trade we had been looking forward to was not going to happen. We had invested almost everything into the business, so the whole situation was devastating on a number of levels,” said Susan.

While spending 11 days sheltering in the local Army barracks, Susan and Kevin brainstormed how they might be able to recoup some losses and gain an income with the loss of the tourist season.

“We had just started selling our own ‘Alpine Sauce Co.’ Memphis Style BBQ Sauce from the restaurant in December, and after the fires had cleared we decided to set-up an online store to try and sell a few bottles and make some kind of income.”

“We had to throw out over $20,000 in stock from our cold room when we got back. We had a lot of bills to pay and it seemed like there was no easy solution.”

Luckily for Susan and Kevin, things started to turn around when they received a message from Empty Esky, a movement that encourages Australians to spend time and money in small towns and regional communities.

“They saw my post online and asked me if I’d like to share our story with the hope to sell 100 bottles of sauce. I didn’t think much of it at first, but the day ended with over 500 bottles sold, and we’d never shipped a bottle of sauce in our life!”

“We haven’t had stability in our lives for a long time now and with COVID-19 coming into the mix, it definitely starts to wear you down. Having good friends and family who are capable of accepting your full range of emotions is something we will always appreciate - the ones who don’t push you away when you need to talk about the heavy stuff.”

Hope, support from friends and family, those who supported their business, and their daughter who thinks life is one big adventure, are some of the things that have helped Susan and Kevin get through what might be one of the toughest years of their lives.

“Sometimes the adventure of life gets a bit too wild, and isn’t much fun at all, but you have to remind yourself daily that it’s not forever. If you can roll with the hard stuff, you’ll come out the other side saying, ‘we got through it!’, and we really look forward to that day.”

Susan believes that simply being a good listener and checking in with those who might be struggling can make a world of difference.

“Even if you can’t fully relate to what someone is going through, I would suggest just offering a good listening ear because there are no easy solutions to what many are currently going through. If you know someone struggling or going through some big changes, check in often and ask, ‘Are you OK?’”

“I would also suggest being kind on social media. Businesses and families are doing it really tough and we’ve unfortunately experienced a bit of mocking recently for our restaurant not being open yet. It was really upsetting and humiliating to see it. If you’re tempted to give a business or person an unkind comment, think about how your action will impact the people behind that business. Be kind and be supportive, because we’re all in this together.”

The new R U OK? Mateship Manual will help you navigate a conversation with someone who has experienced a natural disaster or emergency. Free to download here (www.ruok.org.au/natural-disaster-and-emergency-mateship-manual).

For practical advice on ways to start a conversation with someone you care about visit: www.ruok.org.au/how-to-ask

For crisis support call Lifeline on 13 11 14. If you or someone you care for is feeling overwhelmed, visit ruok.org.au/findhelp for support services and self-care tools.

Follow R U OK? on social media

Mon, 20 Jul 2020 04:18:03 GMT

Follow us on social media and stay up-to-date with relevant tips and resources for connecting with the people in your world and starting an R U OK? conversation.

Find us on:

Facebook at www.facebook.com/ruokday
Instagram at www.instagram.com/ruokday
LinkedIn at www.linkedin.com/company/r-u-ok-
Twitter at www.twitter.com/ruokday

Sharing your story on social media

You might want to show the people in your world the power of connecting with others and that they’ve got what it takes to support those struggling with life. By publishing a blog, vlog or social media post that shows the shows the power of connection and conversations, you’ll be able to inspire countless Aussies to connect, reach out, ask “are you ok?” and make a difference.

Before creating a post, we suggest checking out our Blogging and Vlogging Guidelines so you can do so safely.

Don't forget to use our hashtag #RUOKDay where possible.

Responding to comments on your content

It’s important to respond to any comments on your content in a supportive manner.

If anyone seems like they’re struggling with life, encourage them to connect with relevant crisis support partners.

Example response:

Dear xxx, I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling. Please make sure that you continue to reach out to friends and loved ones for support. If you feel you need additional support, please see your local doctor or contact a relevant crisis support service. Lifeline offer free 24/7 crisis support over the phone on 13 11 14. You can find other supports here: www.ruok.org.au/findhelp

Responding to someone in crisis:

Dear xxx, I really feel for you at this time and encourage you to seek help. Professional and expert support is the best solution. I urge you to call the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467. This service is staffed by professional counsellors and they will work with you now and into the future. It’s a free service and available 24/7.

Buy R U OK? merchandise

Mon, 20 Jul 2020 04:09:22 GMT

R U OK? has a wide range of merchandise to help you add a splash of yellow and encourage more conversations in your school, workplace or community.

Proceeds from the sale of merchandise support our work to start more life-changing conversations. Visit our store at store.ruok.org.au

Merchandise items include:

T-shirts
Polo shirts
Hoodies
Puffer vests
Hats and caps
Bandanas
Conversation cards
Bookmarks
Posters
Wristbands
Bean bags
Cupcake flags
Stickers and more

There's more to say after R U OK?

Thu, 16 Jul 2020 00:09:03 GMT

R U OK? is asking all Australians to learn what to say if someone in their life says they are not OK.

‘There’s more to say after R U OK?’, is the message for R U OK?Day 2020 (on Thursday 10 September) and will focus on building confidence and increased skills for people so they know how to navigate a conversation with someone in their life who might be struggling.

Katherine Newton, CEO, R U OK?, says 2020 has been a challenging year for everyone and circumstances have made it even more important for us all to stay connected and, for those who are able, be willing to support those around us.

“Time is one of the most valuable things we can share with the people that we care about,” said Ms Newton. “When someone in your life is struggling it’s natural to ask them if they’re OK but it can sometimes be difficult to know what to say next.

“Our free resources include a conversation guide to help people learn what to say after “Are you OK?” and help break down any fears or concerns someone might be feeling when approaching a meaningful conversation with a family member, friend or colleague who might be doing it tough.

“You don’t have to be an expert to keep the conversation going and if you familiarise yourself with what to say after hearing ‘No, I’m not OK’ you can show genuine intent and genuinely help someone access appropriate support long before they’re in crisis.” said MsNewton.

RUOK? is encouraged by its recent data that demonstrates Australians increasingly understand how important it is for them to reach out to those around them who might be struggling.

“Our latest evaluation measures show that most people feel confident they know how to have a conversation with someone who might be struggling with life but 31% of Australians lack confidence or are unsure how to have a conversation with someone who is not OK,” says Ms Newton. “We want to help them learn what to say after R U OK? because a conversation could change someone’s life.”

”This year R U OK?Day coincides with World Suicide Prevention Day which will further raise awareness of the scale of suicide globally and the role that each of us can play in prevention efforts.

Resources including a Guide to Supporting R U OK?Day are free to download from the R U OK? website and are designed to help individuals, workplaces, schools and community groups plan for R U OK?Day which this year may look different for some given the impact of COVID-19. The guide has tips, ideas and resources to help share the R U OK? message virtually and in person.

“If you feel something’s not quite the same with someone you know - perhaps you’re aware of a significant life event they are experiencing right now or you notice a change in what they’re saying or doing - take the time to genuinely ask them “Are you OK?”

“We want Australians to be confident in having a meaningful conversation and if someone says they’re not OK, make time to listen with an open mind, encourage action and regularly check in.”

‘There’s more to say after R U OK?’ Learn what to say next at www.ruok.org.au

Stay connected and check in with your friends, family, colleagues and neighbours.

Wed, 15 Jul 2020 07:14:12 GMT

COVID-19 restrictions of varying levels remain in place across Australia and that will likely be the case for the foreseeable future.

R U OK? is calling on Australians to check in on their friends, family, colleagues and neighbours because it’s important that we stay connected especially in challenging times.

R U OK? CEO, Katherine Newton says the virus has affected everyone in some way and we all need to actively seek ways to connect, and in some cases reconnect, with those in our world who might be struggling.

“We’ve seen some inspiring examples of how caring our community can be,” said Ms Newton. “Genuine care and concern from loved ones can be life changing for those grappling with the impact of recent events.

"Some people find change pretty scary,” she said. “Many might be feeling disconnected from day to day life, have new financial and employment pressures, added family stressors, be physically unwell, or be experiencing heightened levels of anxiety.

Life might not be the same as it was before and we might need to live with some ongoing restrictions and physical distancing but we can continue to look out for each other.

“Think about who in your world might be struggling and make a plan to reach out to them and ask, ‘Are you OK?’. That question and ensuing conversation has the power to change someone’s life for the better,” said Ms Newton.

Debra Brodowski, National Manager of Psychological Services at the Centre for Corporate Health says feeling overwhelmed and anxious is a normal response to changes brought about by the pandemic, especially for those facing a return to tighter restrictions.

“A return to lockdown can result in many strong emotions returning. People may have an increased sense of fear and uncertainty or may be feeling anxious and overwhelmed. Some may even feel angry that a return to lockdown has occurred. These are all normal reactions to have,” said Ms Brodowski.

There are steps we can take to help others and ourselves through these uncertain times.

“It’s important to maintain the key things that help you top up your wellbeing: keep in touch with others, keeping active, healthy eating and getting a good night's sleep. If people are still feeling challenged, it’s important to reach out for additional support via your doctor or helplines.

“Staying connected to others is critical at this time. It helps remind us that we are not alone and that we have support. If you or someone you know is struggling with physical distancing, reaching out and connecting to them is an important reminder that together we can get through this.”

If you’re feeling well and able to support someone, reach out and let them know you’re there to help now and for as long as it takes.

Look out for any changes in the way people communicate:

• Consider the tone and language they’re using.

• Are they posting more or less?

• Are they answering your calls?

• Are they communicating as you would expect?

If you are concerned about someone, trust your gut and ask, “Are you OK?”. Listen with an open mind to what they have to say and ask them what you can do to help. In the current circumstances there might be limits on what you can do but you can definitely be a listening ear and a (virtual) shoulder to lean on.

If you need guidance on how to support someone, visit ruok.org.au/how-to-ask

If you need support or know someone who does, visit ruok.org.au/findhelp for professional support services and self-care tools.

Fostering empathy in the workplace

Wed, 08 Jul 2020 06:39:40 GMT

We know empathy is an important skill for developing strong relationships and connections with people, but empathy is also an important skill to have in the workplace. We spoke with empathy expert Daniel Murray, a business consultant who has seen the negative impacts, like higher turnover and lower performance, when businesses ignore the unique emotional needs of people.

What is empathy and why is it important?

I define empathy as the ability to understand why people do what they do, what drives them, what their experiences are and how they see the world.

Empathy is critically important, now more than ever, as we live and work in a world of increasing diversity and opportunity, and we spend more time with people from different backgrounds and who’ve had diverse life experiences. The danger in that is that we naturally assume people see the world similar to what we do, but empathy allows us to step out of our world view and into a new mentality so that we can relate to and understand others better.

Are some people naturally more empathetic and what benefits do these people bring to a workplace?

Some people are born more naturally empathetic, but that doesn’t mean it’s useful for them long term or they know how to use it. For example, some people are naturally good runners but if they don’t practice and train, those natural skills will diminish over time. But those who are able to park their own views and begin to understand how people operate are really beneficial to the workplace as they can improve team performance and deliver greater work results.

How does workplace culture affect a business and the people who work in it?

Workplace culture massively affects a business and those in that workplace. Every second of our lives, the human body sends about 11 million bits of data to the brain for processing. Our conscious brain, however, only processes about 40 bits of data each second, so most of the processing is done in the subconscious brain. What this means is that we’re constantly taking in signals even if we don’t necessarily realise it. If our working environment is one filled with aggression, we’re going to be receiving those signals of stress and discomfort, which will go on to impair how we feel and how we make decisions.

Often people are feeling stressed and can’t pinpoint why, but that’s where workplace culture is usually playing a big part. You get caught up in the environment, mimic the signals in that environment, feel stressed and then that workplace culture of stress and aggression is perpetuated.

What is needed to reform a workplace culture and what can leaders do?

Workplace culture is like a flowing river - it’s always changing and being impacted by the millions of interactions in the workplace. To change and improve a workplace culture it’s important that leaders take steps to be open and honest with everyone, and that they genuinely walk the walk.

Many workplaces operate with one-way communication from the top-down and they run meetings that are planned to the minute, leaving no room for forming relationships, trust building and enabling curiosity. However, to create a healthy workplace culture, these things are vital. Leaders can help by creating spaces where relationship-building conversations can happen and by asking open-ended questions, even if they know the answer, to promote curiosity and encourage people to ask ‘why’.

How can people develop empathy and why should they?

Everyone can start to build empathy and what they’ll find is the more they build their empathy skills, the more they’ll see their relationships bloom and walls break down. Whether you’re in management or not, if you can start to understand things like: why people do what they do, what people’s dreams are, and how they see the world, then you’ll boost your ability to drive performance, deliver great work and improve your position. You can do that just through having conversations, connecting with people, collaborating, suspending judgement and just asking why people do what they do. It’s a small investment that will continue to pay huge dividends, and while it may seem uncomfortable at first, we can all change the culture of our workplaces for the better by promoting empathy.

Learn more about empathy and Empathic Consulting at https://empathicconsulting.com/ .

R U OK? has resources that can help you encourage meaningful conversations and connections in your workplaces. View them at www.ruok.org.au/work .

Why Tony ran 20km a day for R U OK?

Thu, 02 Jul 2020 00:26:38 GMT

Tony Thomas pushed himself every day in May, clocking up more than 500km to raise awareness and funds for R U OK? Tony averaged around 20km per day, but he also scored some personal goals and ran his first ever ultra-marathon distance of 50km on May 31. We spoke with Tony to find out why he took up this challenge, and what tips he has for anyone considering a month-long fitness challenge.

Tony, tell us about the challenge you took on:

I love running and I wanted to focus my own regular running efforts into something that had a purpose. I was aware of many people close to me who were struggling with their mental health due to the impact of isolation, disconnection and unemployment, so before thinking through the scale of the challenge, I decided to run #EveryDayInMay and post my efforts on social media in support of R U OK? By the end of the month I had run 562km, with a total running time of over 50 hours, culminating in my first every ultra-marathon distance of 50km on May 31st.

Why did you choose to run in support of R U OK?

The work that R U OK? do to promote the need for real conversations and connections to help people who are struggling is so important in ordinary times, but even more important in times like these where there is a combination of isolation, disconnection and unemployment. R U OK? is a great organisation doing great work at a really important time.

There are four main reasons I decided to take on the challenge. Firstly, to raise money for R U OK? Secondly, to raise awareness for the positive impact exercise has on mental health. Thirdly, to help with my own mental health whilst in isolation, and finally, I wanted to be a positive influence and role model for my two kids, Bella and Jack.

Why is asking “Are you OK?” important?

Asking R U OK? is important for people like me who are too afraid to say they are struggling or too proud to ask for help. There are many people struggling in silence, and the question R U OK? provides an opportunity for people to say they are NOT OK.

Do you have any tips for everyone participating in the ‘K’s for R U OK? ’ event this July?

Whilst I ended up running a heap of kilometres in my #EveryDayInMay challenge, it’s not about distance running. I ran because I love running. It’s about getting outside, getting air in your lungs, and connecting with others through any form of exercise. Do what’s right for you, and don’t overdo it.

Do you have any tips for those raising funds?

Try setting yourself smaller challenges within the month and ask people to support your achievement of those. Also make sure you share your efforts on social media to build support throughout the month.

By getting involved not only are you supporting a great cause, but you’ll feel the benefits to your own mental health as a result of the exercise you do.

Thanks for the support Tony! You’ve made an impact. You can check out Tony’s efforts by searching #EveryDayInMay on Instagram.

Join the K’s for R U OK? challenge at join.ruok.org.au

Hey Sport, R U OK?

Mon, 29 Jun 2020 23:35:28 GMT

R U OK? has launched a campaign to equip community coaches with resources and tips to ensure all members of their sporting community feel safe and supported.

The ‘Hey Sport, R U OK?’ campaign is backed by QBE Foundation and promotes an R U OK? Culture of mutual respect, trust, authenticity and a shared willingness to support those in the grassroots sporting community who might be struggling.

CEO Katherine Newton says sport has a crucial role in the community.

“Sport can break down barriers, reduce stigma and provide a safe and inclusive environment where everyone can thrive but for that to happen everyone needs to play their part, none more so than coaches,” said Ms Newton. “All the feedback and advice we have listened to points to coaches as having the most influential role in grass roots sport and the opportunity to change lives.”

The ‘Hey Sport, R U OK?’ campaign provides resources to help coaches spot the signs that someone might be struggling and guides them through what to say and do in the event one of their athletes, players or sporting colleagues is not okay.

“We are sadly, too often contacted by sporting clubs and associations who want to host games or activities to honour members of their sporting community who have died by suicide,” said Ms Newton. “This has highlighted a further need for a proactive preventative approach and has led us to develop the ‘Hey Sport, R U OK?’ campaign.

"The audience for these resources is significant as is the potential positive impact because sport talks to all age groups across economic, regional and cultural demographic markers."

The Australian Bureau Statistics estimates 5.2 million Australians aged 15 years and older are involved in organised sport and physical activity with 4.7 million in playing roles and 1.4 million in non-playing roles. Close to a million of those involved participated in both playing and non-playing roles.

Hockey veteran Rachael Lynch is a member of the R U OK? Sport Advisory Group involved in the development of the resources and says they will be an invaluable tool for coaches.

"It might not say it in the coaching manual but it’s likely that at some stage every coach will be called on to be an ‘accidental counsellor’ and this campaign provides these simple, free and easy to adopt resources so clubs, teams and associations can proactively embed an R U OK? culture that encourages everyone involved to support each other both on and off the field," said Ms Lynch.

Ms Lynch has achieved much in elite sport. She is a Hockeyroo, Olympian, dual Commonwealth Games gold medallist and World Cup silver medallist. She has played in more than 220 games for Australia, but it is her progression through the ranks from junior sport, her coaching experience and her work as a registered nurse that drives her support of an R U OK? Culture.

"Off the field I’m very active promoting mental health awareness so I understand first-hand the potential of Hey Sport, R U OK? to benefit participants, officials, administrators and supporters across the grass roots sporting community,” said Ms Lynch. “Building that culture isn’t down to one person but coaches can certainly put the foundations in place."

QBE Foundation, Co-Chair, Jon Fox said they are proud to be major partners of R U OK? and the Hey Sport, R U OK? campaign. QBE has a long history of involvement with sport, partnering with leading sports teams in Australia for over 30 years.

"We have long-standing partnerships with sport organisations including Sydney Swans and NSW Swifts where we extend our support from elite athletes right through to Youth Academies that nurture the next generation. We recognise the importance of mental health awareness across all levels of the game and are delighted to back the Hey Sport, R U OK? campaign to support the broader sporting community," says Mr Fox.

"QBE will encourage our elite sport partners to share the resources throughout their clubs and promote the campaign at a grassroots level."

The Hey Sport, R U OK? resources are all available for free download and include a Conversation Guide for Coaches, ten principles of an R U OK? Culture, posters for display in sporting clubs and training facilities, tips on how to ask, “Are you OK?” and what to do next.

If you need guidance on how to support someone, visit ruok.org.au or if you need support or know someone who does, visit www.ruok.org.au/findhelp for professional support services and self-care tools.

Byron Bay Cookies joins forces with R U OK? for second year

Tue, 23 Jun 2020 06:01:23 GMT

For a limited time, the Byron Bay Cookie Company has re-branded their best-selling Milk Choc Chunk cookie to help further raise awareness and funds for R U OK?

After a successful campaign in 2018, the Byron Bay Cookie Company is proud to be supporting R U OK? again this year by releasing a special edition cookie. Part of proceeds from each cookie sold will be donated to R U OK?, an Australian charity that focuses on suicide prevention, by inspiring and empowering everyone to meaningfully connect with people around them and support anyone struggling with life.

The co-branded R U OK? cookie has been baked in a way that makes it easy to break in half and share with a friend, family member or work colleague.

Ahead of R U OK?Day on Thursday 10 September, the R U OK? Cookie by Byron Bay Cookies will be available in selected cafes from mid-June, as well as selected Coles supermarkets from August.

The shareable cookie is also be available to purchase at store.ruok.org.au/limited-edition-byron-bay-cookie/

Katherine Newton, CEO, R U OK? said, “We’re pleased to be working with Byron Bay Cookies again. Sharing a cuppa and a treat is a good opportunity to start a meaningful conversation in a comfortable relaxed manner.”

Emilie Emond, Marketing Manager for the Byron Bay Cookie Company says, “R U OK? is a cause that means a lot to us as a brand and means a lot to our team, and we’re thrilled to be baking the R U OK? cookie again this year. We encourage all of our cookie lovers to stay connected by asking a simple question: ‘are you ok?’”

The limited release R U OK? Cookie by Byron Bay Cookies are now available here at a retail price of $42 for a box of 12, individually wrapped cookies to share.

Stronger Together Campaign Manager Appointed

Tue, 16 Jun 2020 06:19:14 GMT

R U OK? are delighted to announce the appointment of Steven Satour as Campaign Manager to expand and deepen the Stronger Together campaign.

Mr Satour is a Pitjantjatjara, Yankunytjatjara and Pertame man from Central Australia. He is a driven Indigenous entrepreneur and founder of Iwara Travel, with more than a decade of varied experience in marketing, event and project management across tourism, education, the arts, employment, small business and not for profit sectors.

Katherine Newton, CEO, R U OK? has warmly welcomed Steven to the team knowing his accomplished track record in working with Indigenous groups to achieve results is a great addition to complement the R U OK? team.

"We are thrilled that an individual of Steven’s calibre who has garnered such respect from within his community is going to be working with us, to further share the Stronger Together message amongst First Australians," said Ms Newton.

Mr Satour recently worked with the City of Sydney and is a National NAIDOC Committee member.

"Steven believes that by celebrating and embracing Indigenous cultures we bring all Australians together and we look forward to working alongside him."

Mr Satour featured in the Stronger Together campaign in early 2019 and says that was the moment he knew R U OK? was the organisation he wanted to join and where he could make a difference.

"I am really excited about working with R U OK? and further sharing the message amongst our communities, that a conversation really can change a life," said Mr Satour.

"Stronger Together resonates with me so well, especially due to my culture. The message is so simple and powerful. It is steeped in our cultural practice of being a community and ensuring that no one is left behind.

“It’s really about asking the question and being prepared to listen. It’s not always about fixing the problem right then and there. Being able to articulate your feelings and just have someone listen is a really powerful way to show your support," says Mr Satour.

The Stronger Together kit is a free resource containing videos, posters, a conversation guide and more to remind everyone in every community to ask someone in their mob who might be struggling, "Are you OK?".

To view the Stronger Together resources, head to  ruok.org.au/strongertogether

SIP WITH ME. LET'S TALK.

Wed, 10 Jun 2020 05:19:00 GMT

R U OK? are encouraging Australians to share a cuppa and start a conversation, with the launch of Sip with Me, Let’s Talk, knowing this simple action can change a life.

In the words of R U OK? Founder, Gavin Larkin “In the time it takes to have a cuppa you could start a conversation that could change a life.” Just like a meaningful conversation, tea takes a good 2-3 minutes to get the full flavour so let it brew.

You’re invited to join us online as we get the conversation flowing and share a cup of tea.

WHAT: Sip with Me, Let’s Talk Afternoon Tea Party

WHEN: Thursday 11 June 2020 @ 3.00 pm (AEST)

HOW: Register online at www.ruok.org.au/sip-with-me

WHO: Join R U OK? Ambassador Bianca Dye as she hosts an afternoon tea filled with interactive live polls, special guests, tips on how to start a conversation and why asking the question, ‘Are you OK?’ is now, more important than ever.

Tenth generation Twining, Stephen Twining is R U OK?’s special guest, sharing the secret to making the perfect cup. The tea party will wrap up with a quiz and your chance to win an amazing Twinings Tea Chest.

R U OK? Ambassador Will Stewart will drop in for a chat and Josie Larkin , daughter of R U OK? Founder, Gavin Larkin will share her thoughts on R U OK? and how far it has come.

WHERE: Online – this is a virtual event!

WHY: R U OK? are encouraging Australians to share a cuppa and start a conversation, knowing that a conversation can change a life.

R U OK? with the support of Twinings, our Conversation Partner have created a series of free, online resources to guide you through striking up a conversation over your favourite brew and invite someone in your world to connect.

Takeaway Together

Mon, 01 Jun 2020 06:46:06 GMT

Stay connected, support each other, support your local.

We want all Australians to stay connected and support their local businesses through #takeawaytogether by ordering from their favourite local, sharing the meal with family and friends and serving up a side of conversation.

How to Takeaway Together:

Conversation starters:

It’s important to acknowledge the challenging times we’re facing and support those who are stressed, worried or overwhelmed. You can ask: “How are you going?” or “How are you finding everything at the moment?”

For some people taking their mind off the current situation may help. Try these conversation starters:

• “What’s your favourite comfort food?”

• “What’s the best meal you’ve ever had?”

• “Which three people would you love to share a meal with?”

• “What is the best room in your house? Why?”

• “What’s bringing you joy at this time?”

• “What are you doing for yourself at this time?”

The 4 steps to an R U OK? conversation:

If you’re worried about someone start a conversation. It could change, or even save, a life.

Find more information on when and how to ask R U OK? at www.ruok.org.au/how-to-ask

Promote takeaway together

Share these materials and encourage others to 'Takeaway Together':

Download #takeawaytogether invitation

Download #takeawaytogether photoframe

Download #takeawaytogether social media tile

Download social media tile 1

Download social media tile 2

Download social media tile 3

Download social media tile 4

What could you say when promoting #takeawaytogether?

I’m joining the #RUOK #takeawaytogether movement by ordering takeaway from my favourite local and sharing it with family and friends. It’s a simple way to stay connected, support each other and support your local through these uncertain times. Join me! Learn how at www. ruok.org.au/takeaway-together

#stayconnected #RUOKEveryday

Resources for local business

We have created resources for local businesses to use when letting their customers, vendors and community know that they're open and ready to support #takeawaytogether.

Download guide to promoting #takeawaytogether

Download #takeawaytogether promotional kit

What do we want you to take away from this?

We must stay connected. We must support each other.

For crisis support call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

If you or someone you care for is feeling overwhelmed, visit ruok.org.au/findhelp for support services and self-care tools.

For information on COVID-19 (coronavirus) head to the Australian Department of Health or call 1800 020 080.

Mother's Day can be tough - here's how to support someone

Sun, 10 May 2020 00:02:34 GMT

For many, Mother's Day is a moment to celebrate the mums and mother figures who have made an impact on our lives. But for some, it can be a tough day. Grief, divorce or separation, relationship issues, absence, painful or unresolved feelings are just a few of the things that can make this a difficult day.

If you know Mother's Day is going to bring up tough emotions for yourself, a friend or a loved one, it can help to talk about it and have a self-care plan in place.

This Mother’s Day keep an eye out for the signs that could indicate someone is finding it tough or might need some extra support.

What are the signs someone might be having a tough time this Mother's Day? Ask yourself,

Do they seem:

Moody?
Unable to switch off?
Concerned about the future?
Concerned they're a burden?
Lonely or lacking self-esteem?
Concerned they're trapped or in pain?

Are they:

Experiencing mood swings?
Becoming withdrawn?
Changing their online behaviour?
Losing interest in what they used to love?
Unable to concentrate?
Less interested in their appearance and personal hygiene?
Behaving recklessly?

Are they experiencing:

Relationship issues?
Major health issues?
Constant stress?
Financial difficulty?
The loss of someone or something they care about?

Make time for a meaningful conversation

You don't need to be an expert to reach out to someone and ask R U OK? – just a good friend and a great listener. If you know that someone is likely to struggle on Mother's Day, or you have a gut feeling that something is not right, start a conversation and let them know you're there for them.

How to ask R U OK?

Follow our four steps to have a conversation that could change a life but remember if the conversation is too big for you to take on alone, contact a professional through the 'Find Help' page on the R U OK? website.

Step 1: Ask R U OK?

Be relaxed, friendly and concerned in your approach.
Help them open up by asking questions like "How are you going?" or "What's been happening?"
Mention specific things that have made you concerned for them, like "You seem less chatty than usual. How are you going?"

Step 2: Listen without judgement

Take what they say seriously and don't interrupt or rush the conversation.
Don't judge their experiences or reactions but acknowledge that things seem tough for them.
If they need time to think, sit patiently with the silence.
Encourage them to explain: "How are you feeling about that?" or "How long have you felt that way?"
Show that you've listened by repeating back what you've heard (in your own words) and ask if you have understood them properly.

Step 3: Encourage action

Ask: "What have you done in the past to manage similar situations?"
Ask: "How would you like me to support you?"
Ask: "What's something you can do for yourself right now? Something enjoyable or relaxing?"
You could say: "When I was going through a difficult time, I tried this... You might find it useful too."
If they've been feeling down for more than two weeks, encourage them to see a health professional. You could say, "It might be useful to link in with someone who can support you. I'm happy to assist you in finding the right person to talk to."
Be positive about the role of professionals in getting through tough times.

Step 4: Check in

Pop a reminder in your diary to call them in a couple of weeks. If they're struggling, follow up with them sooner.
You could say: "I've been thinking of you and wanted to know how you've been going since we last chatted."
Ask if they've found a better way to manage the situation. If they haven't done anything, don't judge them. They might just need someone to listen to them for the moment.
Stay in touch and be there for them. Genuine care and concern can make a real difference.

Help in a crisis

If you or a loved one need support, Lifeline can provide a listening ear and telephone crisis support 24/7 on 13 11 14.

You can find other support services here .

Eight years of checking in highlights power of R U OK? message

Thu, 07 May 2020 06:43:09 GMT

For the past eight years, good friends John and Ann have made a commitment to check in with each other once a week to stay connected through life’s ups and downs. We spoke to John and Ann to find out how it all began.

“This all started when a mutual friend took her own life. She had a few problems as we all do, but nothing that we thought would lead to her death by suicide. We were all in a bit of shock and tried to think about what we didn’t see or hear, but there was nothing.

“Now we make sure to check in every Sunday and we’ve kept it going for eight years because we know that one question – “Are you OK?” - can make us stop and think, “am I really OK?”. If we are struggling through something, having someone genuinely ask R U OK? reminds us that we have a listening ear to hear us if we are not. At times we are not ok, and we can honestly share that with each other. Sharing what’s going on is sometimes all it takes to feel better about what’s happening.

“By keeping in regular contact, we’re well equipped to notice the signs that one of us is struggling. If we notice a difference in inflection, wording or attitude, then we know it’s time to trust those signs and ask R U OK?”

We asked John why he thinks everyone should stay connected and ask R U OK?

“We all go through stuff, but just having someone to ask the simple question 'R U OK?' can make a world of difference,” he said.

Thank you, John and Ann, for sharing your story and showing the power of a conversation and a regular check in with our friends.

Rail R U OK?Day: Follow that train of thought

Thu, 30 Apr 2020 10:14:59 GMT

Rail employees across Australia and New Zealand are being encouraged to follow that train of thought and ask “Are you OK?” on 30 April 2020.

This is the sixth annual Rail R U OK?Day with the numbers participating growing significantly from around 6,500 in 2015 to more than 70,000 this year. Partnering on this initiative are suicide and harm prevention charities R U OK? and the TrackSAFE Foundation.

Each year this annual industry-wide event inspires rail employees to look out for one another during life's ups and downs by asking "Are you OK?" and really listening to the answer.

Katherine Newton, CEO, R U OK? says that trusting your gut instinct and starting a genuine conversation with a workmate who doesn’t seem themselves can be life-changing.

“Our partnership with TrackSAFE is one R U OK? is extremely proud of and is a brilliant example of an entire industry being committed to the R U OK? movement,” said Ms Newton.

“We’re all going through a difficult time because of COVID-19. Now, more than ever, it is so important we look after each other.

“Participation in Rail R U OK?Day has grown more than 800% since the inaugural event in 2015, as we see, rail employees from across Australia and New Zealand are transforming their workplaces into strong and resilient environments every day of the year.”

Bob Herbert AM, Chairman TrackSAFE Foundation says the Rail R U OK?Day initiative is the largest initiative recognised by the rail industry and is helping to foster genuinely supportive workplaces across the industry.

“We are overwhelmed by the response from our industry and delighted to see more than 70,000 participants involved in this year’s Rail R U OK?Day. There has never been a more important time to ask that question-are you ok” said Mr Herbert.

“Due to the nature of roles in our industry, some workers could potentially be exposed to traumatic incidents and these incidents can have lasting effects. Not only this, we’re all exposed to life’s ups and downs so we want to empower rail employees to deal with confronting challenges which might be thrown their way.” explained Mr Herbert.

Rail R U OK?Day equips rail employees with the tools to reach out and connect with each other in a meaningful way. Supporting the awareness day is a set of free resources tailored to encourage conversations within the rail industry. R U OK?s four steps to starting a conversation: Ask, Listen, Encourage action and Check in, are a key part of this strategy.

“We keep hearing numerous anecdotal accounts whereby a rail employee has trusted their instinct and noticed the signs that someone near them has been struggling, and we’re thrilled to learn that they have started a conversation that has put that person on a whole new path.” said Mr Herbert.

In the lead up to Rail R U OK?Day, TrackSAFE Foundation sent ‘Quentin and Quinn’ R U OK?’s interactive digital question marks on a tour travelling every state and territory and across New Zealand. Quentin and Quinn share educational and informative challenges to encourage conversations between workmates.

“None of this mammoth effort would be possible without the support of TrackSAFE’s 30 regular subscribers. They see their commitment as supporting a ‘whole of industry’ need and would like to see Rail R U OK?Day reach over 100,000 people in 2021.” concluded Mr Herbert.

How to support someone who has lost their job

Wed, 15 Apr 2020 00:30:08 GMT

Job loss, or reduction in hours and income can be hard to talk about – especially if your job is left intact. It can be an awkward, murky and guilt-ridden conversation to navigate. We might feel it’s better to avoid the topic instead of talking about it.

That’s why we’re sharing tips on how to talk about it from Rachel Clements; the co-founder and Director of Psychological Services at the Centre for Corporate Health (CFCH).

Rachel believes friends and family play an important role in helping someone manage the career transition phase and emotional rollercoaster after losing a job.

“There are lots of things colleagues, family and friends can do to help someone regain their balance and feel a sense of comfort, confidence and control”.

“When our work life is in a state of flux, people rely on and draw strength from their personal life. Friends and family should stay connected to the individual and check in regularly - whether it’s by phone, video call or the odd SMS. You might have to be more proactive in initiating contact, rather than waiting for them to reach out. Sometimes it’s hard for people to reach out and ask for help when they are going through a difficult time”.

Often individuals will continue to work for a period after receiving the news that their position has been made redundant or will experience reduced hours in the future. Rachel believes colleagues can be a key source of support and practical assistance during this time.

“After losing a job or experiencing a reduction in hours of work, people go through a rollercoaster of emotions. If you are concerned a colleague is struggling with the transition, make time to check in with them. Talk to them about what their next steps are, what are some things they might be able to do next, reinforce their strengths or help them with networking contacts”.

“When people are in distress it can be hard to think of a plan or next steps and when people are able to do that they start to feel a little bit more in control. Your practical assistance can make a difference.”

There are also steps managers can take to buffer the level of distress and protect the wellbeing of staff affected by redundancies, job loss or major changes at work.

“Think about what you can offer affected employees to assist them during the transition period. If the individual hears you’re willing to support them through the process and offer practical support, like career transition assistance, it helps them feel supported and ends the working relationship on a positive note”.

“Messaging is key. Delivering the news in a sensitive and professional manner can make a big difference. It can stop someone from feeling highly distressed at the end of the conversation and help keep their wellbeing and confidence intact.

And if the person does become distressed, Rachel suggests this:

“If someone becomes distressed, sensitivity is very important. The person delivering the message should pause at that point. Don’t bombard them with all the practical details of their package or the business rationale of how the decision has been made. Allow them to feel whatever they are feeling. It might be anger, tears or shock. Just listen and try to empathise. Use statements like ‘We understand this is distressing or a shock for you’ to help them get through that emotional phase. When the emotions appear to be decreasing you can let them know there’s other important information you’d like to share with them by asking, ‘Are you ready to hear that now?.”

Rachel emphasises the impact on other staff should never be underestimated.

“Managing the process sensitively, professionally and respectfully reassures other staff they will be treated well if they are ever in that position. It can help maintain morale.

“Redundancies often send a message of fear and concern for people’s job security. It’s very important to be completely open and honest about how the changes could possibly impact people. If there are gaps in knowledge people will often fill them with rumours, which can have a negative impact on team morale. It can help to check in with staff and reassure them their job is secure. Allow people to talk about how these changes have impacted them in order to understand their concerns and be able to support them better”.

Rachel Clements is a member of the R U OK? Conversation Think Tank and believes conversations can make a difference.

For practical advice on ways to start a conversation with someone you care about visit: www.ruok.org.au/how-to-ask

For crisis support call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

If you or someone you care for is feeling overwhelmed, visit ruok.org.au/findhelp for support services and self-care tools.

For information on COVID-19 (coronavirus) head to the Australian Department of Health or call 1800 020 080.

CFCH Careers incorporates resilience training to ensure wellbeing through career transition. For more information on their services call 02 8243 1500 or email admin@cfch.com.au

Nominate your good egg!

Thu, 09 Apr 2020 02:20:55 GMT

Who do you turn to when the cracks start to show? Who’s that good egg that supports you when you’re feeling scrambled?

Nominate them below and they’ll be in the running for a pack of eggcellent R U OK? goodies!

Winner will be selected at random on Tuesday 14 April, 2020.

Why the Mateship Manual is important right now

Wed, 08 Apr 2020 23:56:07 GMT

In challenging times such as these it is even more important that we all promote a sense of community, reach out and ask our friends, family and colleagues, “Are you OK?”.

The coronavirus pandemic comes as many Australians are still feeling the impact of recent bushfires, floods and drought.

In challenging times such as these it is even more important that we all promote a sense of community, reach out and ask our friends, family and colleagues, “Are you OK?”.

The R U OK? Mateship Manual has been a popular resource for those supporting anyone going through a tough time, particularly those in rural areas.

Earlier this year R U OK? collaborated with Professor Nicholas Procter and the team at UniSA’s Mental Health and Suicide Prevention Research Group to update the Mateship Manual to provide guidance on how to support those who might be struggling in the wake of a natural disaster or emergency situation.

We asked him about this process and why information in the manual is a must for every Australian to read and share right now. Here’s what he had to say.

When R U OK? called, I jumped at the chance to be involved in the coming together of things we believe in.

When R U OK? asked us for guidance on how to support people who’ve been through difficult experiences due to a natural disaster or emergency situation, I pulled together a team to look at the Mateship Manual through a trauma informed lens.

We have a multi-disciplinary team – I’m a nursing professor leading a team made up of psychologists, social workers, nurses, a police officer and a human rights lawyer, just to name a few.

The work we do is primarily in the area of mental health and suicide prevention. Everything we do is about bringing together the best science and combining it with lessons from people’s personal experience.

The keywords for our team are reach, relevance and impact. We aren’t doing research for research’s sake but making sure it makes a difference outside the world of academia.

For the Mateship Manual project, myself and the lead researchers on this team – Dr Miriam Posselt (research fellow and clinical psychologist who works mostly on trauma and service provision improvements) and Simon Tyler (graduate psychologist and former construction worker with a focus on men and suicide) – undertook a consultation with people who have lived through recent bushfire related trauma.

These insights were then combined with what we’ve learned over the years from research, clinical practice and a raft of people’s personal experiences and trauma in relation to drought, bushfires and refugee detention.

At its core being trauma informed means recognising the impact of trauma in our lives, how such experiences play out in someone’s life today, and actively resisting re-traumatisation.

Many people who seek assistance for mental health challenges have experienced some sort of trauma in their lives, usually through adverse childhood experiences, but also from previous exposure to natural disasters and emergency situations.

When we say a trauma informed approach, we mean looking at how individuals, systems and services can actively resist and mitigate retraumatising someone. It also means trying to understand how certain events and experiences can retrigger past trauma and consciously choosing words and actions that are soothing and comforting for that person.

People who’ve come through these troubles before can be our best teachers

When we did the consultation for the Mateship Manual, we were taking the theory and science we had to hand and checking-in to synthesise that against people’s personal experiences.

Using a trauma informed approach to the conversations meant we could get a clear understanding of words and phrases that were more helpful than others.

We could also recommend to R U OK? some of the contextual information to include in the manual so that everyday Australians could better empathise with someone who has survived a bushfire or similar.

For immediate crisis support contact Lifeline on 13 11 14
Are you or a loved one feeling worried or struggling to cope? Visit https://coronavirus.beyondblue.org.au/
For more detailed information about the signs someone might be struggling and how to have an R U OK? conversation visit our How to Ask page .
If a conversation is too big for you or you need additional support visit our Find Help page .

Conversation starters

Thu, 26 Mar 2020 22:34:43 GMT

Constantly reading the news and scrolling through social media can leave us feeling overwhelmed and anxious, so it’s important we make time for uplifting conversations with our friends, family members and colleagues so we can take a break and #StayConnected to what matters.

One way that we can stay on track to do this is by making a list of some light conversation starters that you can share with those around you. You can create your own list of conversation starters or start with some of the suggestions below.

- What's one of your favourite memories?

- If you were to write a book, what would it be about?

- What personal accomplishments are you most proud of?

- If you could live in a different place for a year, where would it be and why?

- What movies would you recommend I see, and why?

If you notice any of the signs that a loved one is struggling, trust your gut and ask R U OK? Learn how to ask here.

For crisis support call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

If you or someone you care for is feeling overwhelmed, visit ruok.org.au/findhelp for support services and self-care tools.

For information on COVID-19 (coronavirus) head to the Australian Department of Health or call 1800 020 080.

Five ways to stay connected while physical distancing

Tue, 24 Mar 2020 06:44:59 GMT

Last week we asked our Instagram community how they will stay connected while they’re physical distancing through the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic. What did the responses from all across Australia have in common? We need to #StayConnected.

Here are five of our favourite responses:

Chat online and ask friends if they’re OK.

Many of us have access to devices that allow us to stay in touch with our family, friends and colleagues online. If you know people that live alone or might be doing it extra tough during this time, reach out with a friendly message asking them if they’re OK. If they say they’re fine but you’re concerned they might be struggling, give them a call, ask again and let them know you’re here for them. For tips on how to ask, visit www.ruok.org.au/how-to-ask

Write a letter. Post it.

While it might take a few days to arrive, the effort and care put into writing a letter is often really appreciated by those who receive it. It can be especially uplifting for those who may be feeling a little isolated and disconnected.

Stay social.

Don’t cancel your regular dinner or work social time, just move it online or over the phone. You might be seeing people face-to-face less often, but continuing to socialise with family, friends and colleagues will help you feel more connected and give you a sense of normality.

Create a Facebook group for your street.

Becoming friends with those in your neighbourhood can help you feel more secure and connected to your community. An easy way to do this is by creating a Facebook group for your street. Just create a private page on Facebook and drop a note in your neighbour’s letterboxes with instructions on how to join. If you like to do things offline, pop our Connection Card in your neighbour’s letterbox, available at www.ruok.org.au/connection-card.

Play online games with friends.

Online gaming is a great way to stay connected with friends while keeping up some friendly competition. Play together and have a chat while you’re at it.

No matter how you go about it, be kind, listen to what they’re saying, be there for them and #StayConnected.

For crisis support call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

If you or someone you care for is feeling overwhelmed, visit ruok.org.au/findhelp for support services and self-care tools.

For information on COVID-19 (coronavirus) head to the Australian Department of Health or call 1800 020 080.

Connection Cards to help you #StayConnected

Mon, 23 Mar 2020 03:02:11 GMT

Across Australia and the world people are facing an unprecedented situation as our health authorities and governments act to manage the spread of COVID-19 (coronavirus). For detailed, accurate information about these measures please visit the Department of Health website .

It’s very normal to not feel OK in challenging times such as these. We must continue to promote a sense of community, reach out and ask our friends, family and colleagues, “Are you OK?”.

If you’re feeling well and able to support someone, practically or emotionally, you can use our 'Connection Cards' to let them know you’re there to help now and for as long as they need.

Download social media tile

Download full colour print-at-home artwork

Download black and white print-at-home artwork

Download editable PDF

Download editable Microsoft Word artwork

Download print ready artwork

If you would like to co-brand the card please get in touch with us at hello@ruok.org.au

The creation of the Connection Card was inspired by the ‘Creative Commons’ #ViralKindness card produced by Becky Wass in the UK.

• For information about the signs someone might be struggling and how to have an R U OK? conversation visit our How to Ask page.

• If a conversation is too big for you or you need additional support visit our Find Help page.

Staying connected is more important than ever

Mon, 16 Mar 2020 04:38:48 GMT

The coronavirus pandemic comes as many Australians are still feeling the impact of recent bushfires, floods and drought. It’s very normal to not feel OK in challenging times such as these. Watching and listening to media and social media coverage and commentary can be confronting and confusing. However, at a time when we’re being asked to physically distance ourselves from one another, we can make use of freed up diary time and our digital devices to stay connected.

It is now even more important that we all promote a sense of community, reach out and ask our friends, family and colleagues, “Are you OK?”.

Some people in your world might be feeling anxious, worried about when things will return to normal, be physically unwell or concerned about their health and wellbeing. We encourage you to use this time to pick up the phone, video call, SMS or post online to check in and see how those in your world are travelling. If you’re feeling well and able to support someone, reach out and let them know you’re there to help now and for as long as it takes.

Remember to trust the signs. Be aware of any changes in online behaviour or the way people communicate:

• Consider the tone and language they’re using

• Are they posting more or less?

• Are they answering your calls?

• Are they communicating as you would expect?

If you are concerned about someone, trust your gut and ask “Are you OK?”. Listen with an open mind to what they have to say and ask them what you can do to help. In the current circumstances there might be limits on what you can do but you can definitely be a listening ear and a (virtual) shoulder to lean on.

• For more detailed information about the signs someone might be struggling and how to have an R U OK? conversation visit our How to Ask page .

• If a conversation is too big for you or you need additional support visit our Find Help page.

In the words of our founder Gavin Larkin, “Getting connected and staying connected is the best thing any of us can do both for ourselves and anybody who may be at risk. That said, it’s not just about those at risk, we want everybody in Australia right across the spectrum of society to reach out to the people in their lives that they care about and essentially let them know that they do care by asking R U OK?”

Whether you’re struggling yourself or worried about someone else we urge you to stay connected.

Share this message and urge your friends, family and networks to stay connected by downloading and sharing the video message from our CEO Katherine Newton (at the top of this page). Download video. You can also print and share our 'Connection Cards' and let people know you're able to provide practical and emotional support. View Connection Cards.

We suggest you use the wording below to accompany the video when you share it:

R U OK? is calling on all of us to stay connected, lend an ear and provide support to those who need it as we navigate these challenging times. If you’re worried about someone you can find conversation tips and information about available support services at www.ruok.org.au

#RUOK #RUOKeveryday#StayConnected

R U OK? – Phrase book to help people ask in Tiwi has been launched in Wurrumiyanga

Wed, 11 Mar 2020 03:23:01 GMT

A new Tiwi to English phrase book to help people ask, “Are you OK?” and talk about mental health and wellbeing has been launched in Wurrumiyanga.

The phrase book was led by Tiwi elders in collaboration with Tiwi college students, Menzies School of Health Research, R U OK? and the Northern Territory Government.

Titled Ngawurramangajirri (we care for each other), the phrase book features Tiwi to English translations, as well as illustrations to encourage conversations around wellbeing and mental health.

Dr Vanessa Lee, Chair of the R U OK? Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Advisory Group attended the launch in Wurrumiyanga and was inspired by the local translation of R U OK?’s message.

As Dr Lee has previously said, “Campaigns like this are about having that yarn, starting to articulate how we’re going to talk to each other and address the behaviour. Because it's recognising behaviour in people that makes the change.”

Menzies School of Health Research project manager, Josie Povey, said she hopes the book encourages people to talk to others who might be going through a tough time.

“This is a resource that can be used to provide people with the words that they need to talk with other people about how they are feeling; this may be family members talking to family members, service providers and/or health professionals.

“This project grew out of the identified need for young people to develop stronger Tiwi language skills, and more specifically be able to express their feelings and needs using Tiwi,” Josie said.

Ngawurramangajirri is available in hard copy as well as on the Menzies website at: menzies.edu.au/tiwiphrasebook

You can view R U OK?’s English language resources for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people and communities at: www.ruok.org.au/stronger-together

School planners help spread R U OK? message

Tue, 10 Mar 2020 04:34:04 GMT

A regional school has implemented R U OK? resources into their student planner to educate students on the signs someone is struggling, and info on how to reach out and ask them R U OK? The Gippsland Grammar planner, facilitated by Woolston printing, also included help-seeking information.

A Woolston Printing representative said that they were aware of research supporting early intervention in preventing suicide and realised that the diaries they print for school students were the perfect vehicle to encourage a young, captive audience to be a good a friend and support their peers.

“We hope to include this content in as many diaries as we can in 2020 and onwards. Last year our diaries ended up in the hands of about 85,000 school kids across Australia. The R U OK? spreads will naturally be free of charge, and optional, but we are hoping that as many schools as possible take up the option to help R U OK?’s cause,” said Jim Woolston, 4th generation owner of Woolston Printing.

Want to share the R U OK? message in your planner? Connect with Woolston printing at www. woolstonprinting.com.au and R U OK? at hello@ruok.org.au to learn how.

R U OK? because ‘U Matter to Me’

Tue, 03 Mar 2020 05:23:03 GMT

Sixty marchers emblazoned with ‘U Matter to Me’ joined the R U OK? float at the 2020 Sydney Gay and Lesbian Sydney Mardi Gras Parade.

While many Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Intersex (LGBTI) and other sexuality, gender and bodily diverse people live happy, healthy and productive lives, the National LGBTI Alliance reports the community continue to experience a higher risk of suicidal behaviours than non-LGBTI people [1] .

R U OK? wanted their presence to be a vocal and visible reminder to check in and ask “Are you ok?”

R U OK? Ambassador and media personality Brooke Blurton travelled from Perth WA, to take part in the parade for first time.

“As a bisexual woman and Yamatji Noongar woman, being here to champion R U OK?’s ‘U Matter to Me’ message is a proud and emotional moment,” said Blurton.

“We’ve lost far too many people from our beautiful diverse Australian community, and we all have a part to play in decreasing the statistics. It’s so important we let the people around us know we genuinely care and are truly here to listen. A great place to start is asking ‘Are you ok? Because you matter to me” when we spot the signs they might be struggling with life.”

R U OK? worked in close consultation with the National LGBTI Health Alliance to celebrate the diversity of the community at the parade. Marchers included representatives from R U OK? partner organisations and community supporters. Some of those who took part have been touched by suicide and all are passionate about spreading the R U OK? message

R U OK? Community Ambassador and mental health advocate Craig Mack, from Sydney, joined the R U OK? float and believes the ‘U Matter to Me’ message will encourage the community to talk and listen more, becoming more informed by hearing positive voices of support.

“What matters to us? Our LGBTI friends, family, adopted families and loved ones matter us. Their wellbeing matters to us. Ensuring they are supported, they feel connected and they feel a sense of belonging and identity matters to us. We want to ensure the people who make up our LGBTI community are protected from the path to suicide,” said Mack.

“To show them how much they matter – we check in and start regular meaningful conversations. We learn that asking “Are you OK” is easier and more powerful than we think, and we educate ourselves on what support is available. We want this community to hear, see and believe how much we support them and to know that we are genuinely here to listen.”

The R U OK? float was proudly supported by Anytime Fitness Australia, Avis Budget Group Australia and Fourth Wall.

In addition to a physical presence at the 2020 Gay and Lesbian Sydney Mardi Gras Festival, R U OK? will be getting the message out through their ‘U Matter to Me’ online hub. The hub contains resources and shares real-life stories illustrating how to check in on your mates and loved ones in a meaningful way.

Visit our LGBTIQ+ Hub to access these free resources.

[1] Working Together to Prevent Suicide: National LGBTI Health Alliance Statement on World Suicide Prevention Day, 10 September 2019: https://lgbtihealth.org.au/wspd2019/

6 tips for stronger relationships

Mon, 03 Feb 2020 02:19:48 GMT

Being supported by friends, family and colleagues can make a world of difference during tough times, which is why strong interpersonal relationships are so important.

Strong, healthy relationships are a major contributor to a content and fulfilling life.

While all of us will face challenges at some point during our lives, knowing you have strong relationships to fall back on can provide stability, strength and a sense of safety.

However, like anything worth having in life, relationships require work.

Here are 6 simple tips to help you build stronger interpersonal relationships:

#1 - Listening

One thing that many people often forget is that listening is half of all communication. Once you become very good at listening, it actually forms more than half of your communication. The reason for this is that being a good listener has the potential to do wonders for your strong relationships.

Showing that you are actively listening helps boost the other person’s self-esteem since it shows that you genuinely care about what is being said and this in turn helps them feel important. It shows that you want to understand and know the other person’s feelings about something.

Listening can also show you when someone might not be doing so well, and when it might be time to ask R U OK? Find out how to ask here .

#2 - Empathy

You’ve probably heard that people might forget what you said and what you did, but will never forget how you made them feel. That’s incredibly powerful.

If you show empathy towards others, you are revealing that you actually care enough to understand their feelings. Empathy is what helps us feel more understood, supported, and connected, and it goes a long way towards maintaining strong bonds and relationships.

#3 - Respect

To establish and maintain strong relationships, you need to be respectful of other people’s feelings, opinions, and time.

Respect is often mirrored by its receiver which can go a long way in strengthening relationships with friends, family, colleagues and even strangers.

This is one of the secrets to developing a sense of trust and bonding.

#4 - Availability

Your time is the ultimate gift, and how you decide to spend it reveals a lot about you. Being available to those in your life and spending time with them shows that they are valued. This is HUGE in developing strong relationships between friends, family and partners.

#5 - Boundaries

Healthy relationships are those with well-defined boundaries.

They can include your values, beliefs, and limits. It is important to be clear to other people in your life, particularly the strong interpersonal relationships about what your boundaries are.

Boundaries are great for creating respect and building confidence in the relationship. Simply put, boundaries show other people what you stand for and what you will (or won’t) allow in your life.

#6 - Appreciation

We all want to be appreciated for what we bring to a relationship.

Showing other people that you appreciate them only serves to make your relationship with them stronger.

If somebody thanks you for something you said or did, you feel good too. You feel good because it is nice to know that your efforts have made somebody feel better or supported. As well as the fact that they actually noticed it.

Appreciation is one of the core values behind a strong relationship.

Written by: Peter Welch

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